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Sunday 28 February 2010

The article The Times pulled for being not PC.

"Get me a rope before Mandelson wipes us all out"
Jeremy Clarkson
for the Sunday Times

I've given the matter a great deal of thought all week, and I'm afraid I've decided that it's no good putting Peter Mandelson in a prison. I'm afraid he will have to be tied to the front of a van and driven round the country until he isn't alive any more.
He announced last week that middle-class children will simply not be allowed into the country's top universities even if they have 4,000 A-levels, because all the places will be taken by Albanians and guillemots and whatever other stupid bandwagon the conniving idiot has leapt
I hate Peter Mandelson. I hate his fondness for extremely pale blue jeans and I hate that preposterous moustache he used to sport in the days when he didn't bother trying to cover up his left-wing fanaticism. I hate the way he quite literally lords it over us even though he's resigned in disgrace twice, and now holds an important decision-making job for which he was not elected. Mostly, though, I hate him because his one-man war on the bright and the witty and the successful means that half my friends now seem to be taking leave of their senses.
There's talk of emigration in the air. It's everywhere I go. Parties. Work. In the supermarket. My daughter is working herself half to death to get good grades at GSCE and can't see the point because she won't be going to university, because she doesn't have a beak or flippers or a qualification in washing windscreens at the lights. She wonders, often, why we don't live in America .
Then you have the chaps and chapesses who can't stand the constant raids on their wallets and their privacy. They can't understand why they are taxed at 50% on their income and then taxed again for driving into the nation's capital. They can't understand what happened to the hunt for the weapons of mass destruction. They can't understand anything. They see the Highway Wombles in those brand new 4x4s that they paid for, and they see the M4 bus lane and they see the speed cameras and the community support officers and they see the Albanians stealing their wheelbarrows and nothing can be done because it's racist.
And they see Alistair Darling handing over £4,350 of their money to not sort out the banking crisis that he doesn't understand because he's a small-town solicitor, and they see the stupid war on drugs and the war on drink and the war on smoking and the war on hunting and the war on fun and the war on scientists and the obsession with the climate and the price of train fares soaring past £1,000 and the Guardian power-brokers getting uppity about one shot baboon and not uppity at all about all the dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and how they got rid of Blair only to find the lying twerp is now going to come back even more powerful than ever, and they think, "I've had enough of this. I'm off."
It's a lovely idea, to get out of this stupid, Fairtrade, Brown-stained, Mandelson-skewed, equal-opportunities, multicultural, carbon-neutral, trendily left, regionally assembled, big-government, trilingual, mosque-drenched, all-the-pigs-are-equal, property-is-theft hellhole and set up shop somewhere else. But where?
You can't go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can't go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don't sweep your lawn properly, and you can't go to Italy because you'll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse's head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for "organising" a plumber.
You can't go to Australia because it's full of things that will eat you, you can't go to New Zealand because they don't accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can't go to Monte Carlo because they don't accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can't go to Spain because you're not called Del and you weren't involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can't go to Germany ... because you just can't.
The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you'll end up like all the other expats, with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it's okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can't go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.
Canada 's full of people pretending to be French, South Africa 's too risky, Russia 's worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet. So you can dream all you like about upping sticks and moving to a country that doesn't help itself to half of everything you earn and then spend the money it gets on bus lanes and advertisements about the dangers of salt. But wherever you go you'll wind up an alcoholic or dead or bored or in a cellar, in an orange jumpsuit, gently wetting yourself on the web. All of these things are worse than being persecuted for eating a sandwich at the wheel.
I see no reason to be miserable. Yes, Britain now is worse than it's been for decades, but the lunatics who've made it so ghastly are on their way out. Soon, they will be back in Hackney with their South African nuclear-free peace polenta. And instead the show will be run by a bloke whose dad has a wallpaper shop and possibly, terrifyingly, a twerp in Belgium whose fruitless game of hunt-the-WMD has netted him £15m on the lecture circuit.
So actually I do see a reason to be miserable. Which is why I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit in the meantime.

Ed: If the Polls are right we may not be rid of them so soon.

Publican jailed for allowing smoking.

hogan

A former pub landlord yesterday became the first person to be jailed in connection with the smoking ban.

Nick Hogan, 43, was sentenced to six months in prison for refusing to pay a fine imposed for flouting the legislation.

Bloody Hell. Six months for that is so over the top as to be almost unbelievable. But then again the Righteous obviously want to make an example of him.

A judge fined Hogan, of Chorley, Lancashire, £3,000 and ordered him to pay £7,236 in costs after finding him guilty of four charges under the Health Act 2006.

Whether you smoke or not, don't you so feel that this a disproportionate sentence compared with, say, a shoplifter just getting an £80 fine.

If you do feel strongly about this misuse of the law pop over to Old Holborns Blog which is starting a fund to pay his fine and costs. Even a £1 will help.

Thankyou.

Grown up games.

checkout

Checkout Chicken

On arriving at the checkout there will often be someone in front of you. If there isn't then you can breeze on through and try an alternative game such as Checkout Chatter. Anyway, for Checkout Chicken it is imperative to have someone in front with goods on the conveyer belt. It's even better if they have someone with them as that person will be doing the packing and therefore the first person can only stand around and wait to pay.

Normally on arriving at the checkout and finding someone else's goods in front, it is deemed good manners to place the little divider thing at the back of their goods. This then allows the checkout operator with a means by which to discriminate between the goods of the two purchasers. However, with Checkout Chicken, you must avoid placing the divider in between their goods and yours. You should just start unpiling your goods onto the conveyor belt.

As time passes and tension builds, your goods edge closer to the cashier, you start to believe that your goods are about to become part of those of the person in front, and that you are about to cause untold chaos and havoc at the checkout. In the meantime, the person in front may have noticed that there is no divider and will begin to become quite worried too.

To win at Checkout Chicken you just have to be the one who does not put the divider thing on the conveyor belt. Sometimes the person in front just plain and simple doesn't notice, which means you're playing on your own and cannot conceivably win. Unless you're a hardened player this'll certainly screw your nerves up. Other times, your 'opponent' will dive straight in there and you'll get an easy win. On rare occasions you both keep your nerve and they end up buying half your stuff, although not necessarily for you!

The best part about 'checkout chicken' is you get to play twice on every trip, once with the person in front and once with the person behind. An opportunity for instant redemption should you have failed on your first try.

Saturday 27 February 2010

The most ludicrous statement

Usually found in manufacturer's handbooks. Why put the page in anyway? And now that you've typed that statement across the page, you've lied to the viewer of the page!

 














This Page Intentionally Left Blank















Friday 26 February 2010

Advanced Trolling.

I gave you Trolling for Beginners a while back so I thought it was time for the more advanced session.

If you've forgotten the basics then please go and read up. You may have a test at the end.

troll-web

 

Let's Ruin Someone's Day – Advanced Trolling

Phew! There is no moderate trolling section! That's because your path to Internet infamy is as easy as feeding a kitten to a rottweiler. From here on in it's advanced trolling all the way – but don't worry. You still don't need any thought, intelligence or consideration to win the attention that you so richly deserve. Just that Internet connection.

Hopefully by now you'll have found a forum that's populated by people who on the outside seem sane, welcoming and forgiving. Don't be fooled! You'll be able to get some attention here, and the challenge will make it all seem worthwhile. Pick yourself a username and get ready to post. Don't rush in with threats of kitten murder straight away though, you'll need to integrate yourself into the community. Ignore your egotistical urges, and attempt to be sane and reasonable. Make notes of anything that the community seem to agree on – especially with regards to politics or religion. Then, after a month or so, it's time to reveal yourself.

Fire up a new thread, with an intriguing question for a title – something like Can there be world peace without building an altar to the Kitten-Eating Rottweiler Dog? You now have to argue vehemently that unbridled worship of a fearsome canine figure is key to solving any and all problems in the world. Don't worry about paltry facts, evidence or punctuation – just post the same statements over and over again. By now, those sane and welcoming people will be so riled up that you should have dozens, if not hundreds of replies.

Now's the time to step it up a gear. Rinse and repeat with a similar thread – something like Get Ready, the Kitten-Eating Rottweiler Dog is coming! Again, echo the same unwavering beliefs that your baseless, factless, tactless argument is the most important thing in the universe. Repeat this over three or four more threads and you'll have accrued thousands of responses, and those sane and welcoming people will be hurling vitriol at their screens.

Well done – you are now a fully-fledged Internet troll, and you've managed to ruin the days of a handful of complete strangers. Even more importantly, you're now infamous!

Now dust yourself off, go outside, make some friends and do something constructive with your life.


1 Please note: If your dictionary search results in an obscure word such as 'parvanimity', you should probably pick a new one. And learn to appreciate irony.

The Police State is most definitely here.

It would seem that the Police don't even know the laws that they are supposed to uphold. It is still not illegal to film in a public place, so why are they still trying to stop it?

The video below is of the Police and a PCSO harassing The "Love Police" outside Harrods.

The Oxford Mail has the story of the police using section 43 of the Terrorism act to stop and search an ex RAF engineer from photographing them. Oh and there's a short vid to go with the story.

This should be stopped in it's tracks right now. Wanker of the week is PC Steve Burchett

Update:

There's more twattery here.

CCTV. FAIL.

security camera

 

A good article from over the pond on the failure of CCTV to make us anymore safer. In fact it goes on to propound that in fact they make us less safe.

Although it's comforting to imagine vigilant police monitoring every camera, the truth is very different, for a variety of reasons: technological limitations of cameras, organizational limitations of police and the adaptive abilities of criminals. No one looks at most CCTV footage until well after a crime is committed. And when the police do look at the recordings, it's very common for them to be unable to identify suspects. Criminals don't often stare helpfully at the lens and -- unlike the Dubai assassins -- tend to wear sunglasses and hats. Cameras break far too often.

In London the figures for crime solved by CCTV is 1 in every 1,000 cameras. Not a very good success rate I would have thought. And those cameras cost the taxpayer £200 million.

Source

And although a police officer on the street can respond to a crime in progress, someone watching a CCTV screen can only dispatch an officer to arrive much later. By their very nature, cameras result in underused and misallocated police resources.

I think that the £200 million would have been better spent on recruiting a few more Plods.

Full article over on CNN.

Thursday 25 February 2010

STOP PRESS. Potato stops leak.

plumbing

 

Now I'm an ex marine engineer and in my time I've had to resort to a few insane dodges in my time, However this one takes the biscuit potato.

A plumber British Gas Engineer called out out to fix a leak used a potato to correct the problem. (I've never done that, but I did jam the bum of a future Lloyd's surveyor into a sea filter box, to stop one of her Majesties ship's sinking in Antwerp harbour. But that's another story.)

Richard Pickles was amazed when the engineer, who had been at his property for two hours attempting to mend the leak, resorted to a potato to temporarily fix the problem.

Mr Pickles, who lives Lancaster with his wife Amanda and children, including a 10-week-old baby, said: 'The engineer said "I'm only supposed to be here for an hour" and rammed a potato on to stop the leak.

Have a good look at the picture above. The leak is on the drain for the system. The answer was:

I rang up the next day to tell British Gas what had happened and another gas fitter came. He sorted the problem in five minutes by turning a screw.

No doubt there was a small amount of scale preventing the valve from sealing positively. The answer is normally to back it off and then re-tighten it. Time taken: 20 seconds?

Why do they call these Numtpties, Engineers? In my day it took 4 1/2 years to gain that title.

H/T to the

daily fail

There's even more of them fiddling their expenses. (Allegedly)

pigs

 

You couldn't make it up. Even those working in the parliamentary fees office were at it.

A top House of Commons official whose department was at the centre of the MPs expenses scandal has quit in disgrace after being arrested over fraud allegations.

Andrew Gibson, 49, who worked in the parliamentary Fees Office, was detained as a result of the long-running police investigation into MPs' expenses.

The Fees Office, and its role in agreeing MPs’ expense claims, was central to the controversy that engulfed the Commons last year.

Well I suppose he  saw how the troughers MP's could do it, and thought that he'd have a piece of it as well.

Inquiries by Scotland Yard revealed discrepancies in accounts handled by Gibson, a Resources Budget Officer who was well known to MPs as the man at the desk in the Fees Office who handled their expenses claims.

Full story here in the Mail

The Lynn Rival update

I wrote some while ago about my thoughts on how the RFA Wave Knight failed to prevent the capture of the Chandlers. It would seem that the pirates have lowered their sights and are now demanding a lesser ransom. Down from $7 million to $2 million. There are those now saying the ransom should be paid . Read it here.

No, No, No. That would just encourage anyone to think that hostage taking was a lucrative business.

I think that the majority of those writing in the comments agree with me on this one.

However it would never have happened in the first place if equipment in the vid below had been allowed to be used.

The Police again!

I've no idea whether this is real or not. It's a good read though.

 

noddy

Dear Sir/Madam/Automated telephone answering service,

Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Bodmin by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.

As I am writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in St Mary's Crescent, which is just off St Mary's Road in Bodmin.

Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.

The remaining five failed-abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on ecstasy pills.

I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the caravan gas bottle that is lying on its side between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.

What I suggest is this: after replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a Panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.

I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.

I remain your obedient servant

???????

He received this reply:

Mr ??????,

I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems caused by youths playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.

As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.

Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.

Regards

PC ???????
Community Beat Officer

Mr Angry immediately fired back this email:

Dear PC ???????

First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Bodmin Police Station. Please rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next Guinness book.

Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own Community Beat Officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills? In the five or so years I have lived in St Mary's Crescent , I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are head-hunted by MI5 to look for Osama.

Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Bodmin, such as smoking in a public place or being Christian without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere.

The pitch on Fairpark Road, or the one at Priory Park, are both within spitting distance ... as is the bottom of the Par Dock, the latter being the preferred option especially if the tide is in.

Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on <???????>. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Cat and Fiddle Pub.

Regards ?????????

P.S. If you think this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the sewerage department with whom I am also in contact !!!

H/T to Leggie

Wednesday 24 February 2010

What do the Police actually do?

plod

 

And where are they?

We have a police station in the Town just to the south of where we live. This was built just a few years ago at considerable expense. Justification being that it would be central to policing in the area, They never stated that it would only operate in the daylight hours. It's closed at night now.

The Town to the North of us built a purpose built station many years ago for, yes you guessed it, the same as the Town to the South. However now it is closed completely.

Well at least the village bobby is keeping a watch on us. Nope he's gone as well. They needed the money from the sale of his police house.

Well then, that must mean that they're all out on the streets then. Nope again. The last time I saw a police officer out on foot was about 2 years ago. I must admit I crossed the road to keep clear of two black clad, shaven headed, full body armoured, pepper spray clad enforcers. They were really intimidating to the average citizen.

Yes I do see the odd high visibility car zoom past so fast that the high vis is blurred.  Where are they all going? Not to my house when the only time I've called them they turned up 2 days later.

The Met Office super computer at work.

met_office_helpline

 

Shamelessly "borrowed" from Cartoonsbyjosh

Even the convicts don't want him.

ali-385_147096a

 

It looks like a bit of pay back time.

Ali Dizaei, the disgraced police commander, has been knocked out and had excrement poured over his head after being attacked in prison.

The 47-year-old senior Metropolitan Police officer who was jailed this month is serving a four-year jail sentence for assaulting and falsely arresting a young businessman before trying to frame him. He is the most senior policeman to be convicted of corruption offences in more than 30 years.

Now he knows what it's like to be on the receiving end.

H/T to the Times

Tuesday 23 February 2010

Climate change. Lets start over.

bear-article_1555847c


A meeting of Climate scientists has decided that they need to start a new analysis of Global temperature.

The Met Office proposes that the new international effort to recalibrate temperature data start at a “workshop”‘ hosted by Hadley. The Met Office would invite “key players” to start the “agreed community challenge” of creating the new datasets.

Then, in a last defense of its old ways, the Met proposals argues says that its old datasets “are adequate for answering the pressing 20th Century questions of whether climate is changing and if so how. But they are fundamentally ill-conditioned to answer 21st Century questions such as how extremes are changing and therefore what adaptation and mitigation decisions should be taken.”

Well that will assure their jobs for another 20 years. I suppose that in 5 years they will tell us that the globe is cooling and it is all the fault of the Polar bears.

20-Luna Island

Niagara Falls. Frozen.


Read the article here.

I suspect that the dark Lord has done a good job.

cobra

 

Is it just me or has the bullygate story been spun to change the emphasis on who is the real villain?

To start of we had the story of how the Bully of Downing Street had abused his staff.

This was then corroborated by Mrs Pratt from the Anti Bullying Helpline.

Now all the articles in the papers are out to get Mrs Pratt.

I smell the foul stench of mandlesnake and his researchers in action here.

Regardless of her less than salubrious past, if she did receive calls from Downing Street about Bullying, then that is the real story.

The MSM have been nicely sidetracked away from the issue.

Or have I got my tinfoil hat on again?

Pie man saves Brown

And this man was Deputy Prime Minister?

 

Monday 22 February 2010

Cretins

mill

 

Today I went over to my deceased Uncle's apartment to supervise the clearance of his furniture. The usual mail was on the table. However although most was junk, one got my blood boiling.

This was a letter stating that, as he hadn't filled an occupancy details form, the water would be cut off.

The fact that he died in October last year and that no such form has been found was bad enough. The very fact that I had sent them a letter stating that he had died and enclosing a copy of the death certificate just doesn't seem to work with those clowns

Lets face it. I know they received the letter as they, in due course, sent the death certificate back.

I've just E mailed their letter and a scan of the death certificate and covering letter that went with it to their Chief Executive.

Do you think I'll get a meaningful reply?

Oh and bye the way. My E mail wasn't too rude. I don't want to be accused as a bully. (Even though I do have a Nokia)

Drinkers Fault - Finding Guide

SYMPTOM

FAULT

ACTION TO BE TAKEN

Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front wet.

Mouth not open whilst drinking. Or

Glass being applied to wrong part of face.

Buy another pint and practise in front of mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.
Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; beer unusually pale and clear. Glass empty Find someone who will buy you another pint.
Feet cold and wet. Glass being held at incorrect angle. Turn glass the other way up so that the open end is pointing towards the ceiling.
Feet warm and wet Loss of self control Go and stand next to the nearest dog - After a while complain to it's owner about it's lack of house training and demand a pint in compensation.
Bar blurred You are looking through the bottom of your empty glass Find someone who will buy you another pint.
Bar swaying Air turbulence unusually high - maybe due to darts match in progress. Insert a broom handle down back of jacket.
Bar moving You are being carried out Find out if you are being taken to another pub. If not, complain loudly that you are being hi-jacked.
You notice that the wall opposite is covered with ceiling tiles, and has a fluorescent light strip across it. You have fallen over backwards. If glass is still full and no one is standing on your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone to help you up and lash yourself to the bar.
Everything has gone dim, and you have a mouthful of dog-ends and teeth. You have fallen over forwards. As for falling over backwards.
You have woken up to find your bed hard cold and wet. You have spent the night in the gutter. Check your watch to see if it is opening time - if not treat yourself to a lie-in.
Everything has gone dark. The pub is closing Panic!!!
     

Marriage should be banned.

wedding

Well as far as my offspring are concerned.

The eldest daughter was invited to be married on New years Eve. I'm now quaking in my bank balance.

The younger daughter married her primary school sweetheart two years ago. How much did it cost, you might ask? £5,000, £10,000, £15,000. No, it cost this poor old pensioner £27,000. Can't they just live in sin?

The reason I'm posting this is that I was dragged out in the pouring rain to visit one of those Wedding Fayre venues. Even the other half came away shaking her head.

That's not the worst part though. I will have to make that speech, praising the daughter (The one that I fought tooth and nail to recover her profligate credit card charges back due to her complete lack of financial prudence)(No, her name is not Gordonia), for her lovely looks and her love of her parents. (Now I'm being silly).

Oh well, I shall just have to bite the bullet, pay up, and think, yehheh I've got shot of them to the poor bastards who have taken them on.

Paul & Hew, You have my commiserations.

Sunday 21 February 2010

A Billion?

billion

 

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the politicians spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency recently did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective ...

A billion seconds ago it was 1959

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive

A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age

A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet

A billion pounds ago was only 13 hours and 12 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it: Building Permit Tax, Cigarette Tax, Corporate Income Tax, Dog Licence Tax, Income Tax, Unemployment Tax, Fishing Licence Tax, Food Licence Tax, Fuel Permit Tax, Petrol/Diesel Tax, Hunting Licence Tax, Inheritance Tax, Inventory Tax, Liquor Tax, Luxury Tax, Marriage Licence Tax, Property Tax, Real Estate Tax, Service Charge Tax, Social Security Tax, Road Usage Tax, Rates/Local Tax, Vehicle License Registration Tax, Vehicle Sales Tax, Workers Compensation Tax ...

This was an American advertising agency, as you may have guessed. In this country only the terminology is different.
Still think this is funny? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt. We had the largest middle class in the world, and Mum could afford to stay home to raise the kids.

 

H/T to GOS

Love Never dies.

A little bit of culture for Sunday.

Saturday 20 February 2010

They wouldn't dare. Would they?

Reported in the Mail

Hostilities between the UK and Argentina will reach boiling point today with the arrival of a British oil rig off the Falkland Islands.

Buenos Aires has threatened to take steps to prevent what it believes is 'illegal' drilling - including a blockade of ships.

It would appear that the Argentinian President is doing a bit of sabre rattling.

However, although there are not huge forces available to protect the Falklands and the Argentinian forces would appear to be numerically superior, it is not about the numbers.

The difference between 1982 and now is our ability to reinforce the Falklands within hours if required. In 1982 the only real runway was at Stanley and did not have the facilities that the new Military airbase at Mount Pleasant enjoys.

The Argentinian Navy:

4 x Meko 360 destroyers

6 x Meko 140 destroyers

3 x Corvettes

3 x Diesel/electric Submarines

1 x Support ship.(Fuel)

The British navy:

1 x Aircraft carrier

5 x Type 42 Destroyers

13 x Type 23 Frigates

4 x Type 22 Frigates

7 x Nuclear hunter killer submarines

The Argentine Air force:

31 x Fighter Aircraft

36 x Ground attack

2/3 x Aerial refuelling

British air assets.

1 Group (Air Combat Group) - HQ High Wycombe

1 Squadron*
Harrier GR.7/7A/9/T.10
Cottesmore

2 Squadron
Tornado GR.4/4A
Marham

3 Squadron
Typhoon T.1/F.2
Coningsby

4 Squadron*
Harrier GR.7/7A/9/T.10
Cottesmore

6 Squadron
Jaguar GR.3A/T.4
Coningsby

9 Squadron
Tornado GR.4
Marham

12 Squadron
Tornado GR.4/4A
Lossiemouth

13 Squadron
Tornado GR.4/4A
Marham

14 Squadron
Tornado GR.4/4A
Lossiemouth

15(R) Squadron (NTOCU)
Tornado GR.4
Lossiemouth

17(R) Squadron
(Typhoon OEU)
Typhoon T.1/F.2
Coningsby

20(R) Squadron (233 OCU)*
Harrier GR.7/T.10/T.12
Wittering

25 Squadron
Tornado F.3
Leeming

29(R) Squadron (T OCU)
Typhoon T.1/F.2
Coningsby

31 Squadron
Tornado GR.4/4A
Marham

41(R) Sqn
Tornado GR.4, Tornado F.3, Harrier GR.9/9A
Coningsby

43 Squadron
Tornado F.3
Leuchars

56(R) Squadron (229 OCU)
Tornado F.3
Leuchars

100 Squadron
Hawk T.1/T.1A/T.1W
Leeming

111 Squadron
Tornado F.3
Leuchars

617 Squadron
Tornado GR.4/4A
Lossiemouth

1435 Flight
Tornado F.3
Mount Pleasant, Falklands

2 Group (Air Combat Support Group) - HQ High Wycombe

5 Squadron
Sentinel R.1
Waddington

8 Squadron
Boeing Sentry AEW.1
Waddington

22 Squadron HQ
Sea King HAR.3/3A
St. Mawgan

- A Flight
Sea King HAR.3A
Chivenor

- B Flight
Sea King HAR.3A
Wattisham

- C Flight
Sea King HAR.3
Valley

23 Squadron (Sentry OCU)
Boeing Sentry AEW.1
Waddington

24 Squadron
Hercules C.4/C.5
Lyneham

30 Squadron
Hercules C.4/C.5
Lyneham

32 (The Royal) Squadron
BAe 125 CC.3, BAe 146 CC.2,
A109E
Northolt

39 Squadron (1 PRU)
Canberra PR.9
Marham

42(R) Squadron (236 OCU)
Nimrod MR.2
Kinloss

47 Squadron
Hercules C.1/C.3
Lyneham

51 Squadron
Nimrod R.1
Waddington

54(R) Squadron
Nimrod R.1, Sentry AEW.1
Waddington

70 Squadron
Hercules C.1/C.3
Lyneham

99 Squadron
C-17A Globemaster III
Brize Norton

101 Squadron
VC-10 C.1K/K.3/4
Brize Norton

120 Squadron
Nimrod MR.2
Kinloss

201 Squadron
Nimrod MR.2
Kinloss

202 Squadron HQ
Sea King HAR.3
Boulmer

- A Flight
Sea King HAR.3
Boulmer

- D Flight
Sea King HAR.3
Kinloss

- E Flight
Sea King HAR.3
Leconfield

203(R) Squadron
Sea King HAR.3
St. Mawgan

216 Squadron
TriStar K.1/KC.1/C.2/C.2A
Brize Norton

1312 Flight
Hercules C.1, VC-10 K.2/3/4
Mount Pleasant, Falklands

Hercules OEU
Hercules C.1/C.3/C.4/C.5
Lyneham

Northolt Station Flight
Islander CC.2/2A
Northolt

Direct Reporting Units

78 Squadron
Chinook HC.2, Sea King HAR.3
Mount Pleasant, Falklands

84 Squadron
Griffin HAR.2
Akrotiri, Cyprus

1115 Flight $
Predator UAV
Indian Springs, NV, USA

1310 Flight
Chinook HC.2
Khandahar, Afghanistan

1419 Flight
Merlin HC.3
Basra, Iraq

1563 Flight
Puma HC.1
Basra, Iraq

Operation 'Heric'
Harrier GR.7A
Khandahar, Afghanistan

Operation 'Telic'
Tornado GR.4
Al Udeid, Qatar

BBMF
Spitfire, Hurricane, Lancaster,
Dakota, Chipmunk
Coningsby

Personnel & Training Command - HQ Innsworth

19(R) Squadron (4 FTS)
Hawk T.1/T.1A/T.1W
Valley

45(R) Squadron (3 FTS)
King Air 200
Cranwell

55(R) Squadron (3 FTS)
Dominie T.1
Cranwell

72(R) Squadron (1 FTS)
Tucano T.1
Linton-on-Ouse/Topcliffe

207(R) Squadron (1 FTS)
Tucano T.1
Linton-on-Ouse/Topcliffe

208(R) Squadron (4 FTS)
Hawk T.1/T.1A/T.1W
Valley

1 FTS (inc CFS)
Tucano T.1
Linton-on-Ouse/Topcliffe

3 FTS (inc CFS)
Dominie T.1, King Air 200, Grob G.115E Tutor
Cranwell

4 FTS (inc CFS)
Hawk T.1/T.1A
Valley

CFS Tutor Squadron (3 FTS)
Grob G.115E Tutor
Cranwell

CFS Tucano Squadron (1 FTS)
Tucano T.1
Topcliffe

RAF College Air Squadron
Grob G.115E Tutor, T-67M Firefly
Cranwell

The Red Arrows
Hawk T.1/T.1A/T.1W
Scampton

University Air Squadrons/AEFs
Grob G.115E Tutor
-

Volunteer Gliding Squadrons
Viking T.1/Vigilant T.1
-

Joint Helicopter Command - HQ Wilton

7 Squadron
Chinook HC.2/Gazelle AH.1
Odiham

18 Squadron
Chinook HC.2/HC.2A
Odiham

27 Squadron
Chinook HC.2/HC.2A
Odiham

28 Squadron
Merlin HC.3
Benson

33 Squadron
Puma HC.1
Benson

60(R) Squadron (DHFS)
Bell Griffin HT.1
Shawbury

- SARTU
Bell Griffin HT.1
Valley

230 Squadron
Puma HC.1
Aldergrove

Good to have a fair fight

The thing is. The situation has changed since 1982. We now have a sophisticated military base on the Islands that can be re-inforced within days, if not hours. This is a collossal advantage that we can exploit if need be.

The weaponry available to the British armed forces is a considerable differance to what we had in 82. Precision laser guided bombs, Fire and forget anti aircraft missiles, Submarine launched land attack missiles. The list goes on.

You get my drift.

The takeaway is being delivered

 

lunch

Thursday 18 February 2010

Ist Trial by Jury. FAIL

old bailey

 

I had to laugh. This landmark case failed at the first hurdle. The accused has absconded!

Scotland Yard warned the public to beware of ''dangerous'' Blake, 57, after he disappeared from the Royal Courts of Justice, in central London.

For Christ's sake, if he's that dangerous, how could the Police LOSE him.

Full story here.

Face/palm

Sheer Arrogance.

winterton

 

I don't know what Planet some of these MPs' come from. They certainly don't inhabit the one I live on.

Sir Nicholas Winterton has angrily denounced plans to reduce first-class travel by MPs - telling the BBC he needs "quiet" and privacy to work.

The veteran Tory MP said there was a "totally different type of people" in standard-class train carriages.

Maybe if he was forced to sit stand in second class he might just realise what the rest of us have to endure when we are travelling on Shitish Rail, or whatever it is called now.

And although we pay for it, he has this to add.

Asked whether it mattered that the public might not agree with first-class travel, he said: "I'm sorry, the public are wrong. It's for Parliament to decide not the public."

Idiots like him make me want to spit.

Where's Guy Fawkes when you need him?

And they came for the drinkers?

A classic remake of an old picture

 

labour drinker

 

H/T to Mylabourposter

Tuesday 16 February 2010

The Robert Green affair. Was the BBC gagged?

It gets curioser and curioser.

Why was a BBC producer not allowed to make a production about Paedophilia in Scotland?

Listen to the link below.

 

2149-1-robertgreen_bbc_pull_documentary.mp3

 

Something stinks here.

Monday 15 February 2010

Niccocrap. The alternative to the E Ciggie.

These two vids are very disturbing(Not!).

 

H/T to Freedom to choose

Disinformation

cooling towers

 

It looks like us AGW skeptics are spreading disinformation according to an article in the Guardian. I would say to Joss Garman that it is more like trying to get people to think about the science and the politics of the subject.

It seems that we've struck a raw nerve:

There's an incredibly powerful movement opposed to action on climate change. Without doubt it had more influence on the outcome of the climate negotiations in Copenhagen than many of the world's countries combined.

Of course he knows best:

Over the last few years as climate campaigners such as myself have tried to mount a good rational argument.

And then we have the Ad Hominem attack:

Gold digging-standard scientific reporting from the IPCC , and indeed the value of scientific inquiry itself, is now under sustained assault from a motley assortment of cranks, ideologues and special interest voices intent on stopping the transition to a clean energy economy.

And from Greenfellow in the comments, a thinly veiled threat:

The deniers are never going to give in no matter how much science there is. Therefore, unless the government intervenes in a much stronger way than its doing at the moment, its ecowar pure and simple. Deniers are the enemy, and if we don't beat them then its endgame for all of us.

If they can prove the science then let them do so. For the moment I'm staying a skeptic.

Sunday 14 February 2010

Gordon Brown and Piers Morgan.

I'm not going to watch it. I would love it if no-one else did either, and it bombed in the ratings.

Saturday 13 February 2010

2.5% more pain coming our way.

vat

 

Yup you've guessed it. VAT is on the rise whoever gets in at the next election. I can't say that I'm surprised.

A rise in VAT is looming whichever party wins the general election, as Labour and the Conservatives draw up plans to balance Britain’s books.

Alistair Darling and George Osborne, the Shadow Chancellor, are both considering raising VAT to as high as 20 per cent — the European average — from the current rate of 17.5 per cent.

However tax rises are not going to help business grow as this rise will be partially offset by consumers spending less.

What we really need is swingeing cuts in the unproductive public sector. Ie, mass redundancy notices for such posts as "Diversity Outreach coordinators" and the like. We really can't afford that nonsense.

At least someone has the balls to say it.(Even if I won't be voting for his party this time). And no, I'm not voting Labour or Limp Dem.

Ken Clarke, the Shadow Business Secretary, told The Times that any post-election cuts imposed by a Tory government would be worse than the squeeze of the early 1980s. “We are going to have to be much tougher on public spending than Margaret Thatcher ever was,” he said.

Having worked for a couple of years working in a branch of the MOD, I can assure you that there is plenty of fat that can be trimmed with no detriment to our  armed forces.

H/T to the Times for the info.

Friday 12 February 2010

Sympathy vote for Jonah?

brown

 

We all know that the labour party coffers are empty and that labour cannot sustain a protracted election campaign.

In light of his upcoming cringeworthy interview with Piers Morgan, where he will drag his families problems into the limelight. Could he be playing for the sympathy vote to narrow the gap between him and the Conservatives?

Could he, just could he, be planning for a snap general election?

Enter a new High priest of Climate Change.

Peter-Liss_1577165c

 

The Acting Director at the CRU is claiming that us Skeptics are playing Russian Roulette with the Planet. He states the following:

"The evidence is hugely for there being substantial climate change due to man's activities and if you want to argue against that case you have to produce some evidence."

My personal opinion is that it is up to you to produce conclusive evidence that AGW is a fact. you've failed to do so up to now. I do not want to see out my twilight years shivering in the Dark because of a calamitous mistake by scientists and politicians.

Prove it beyond doubt professor. Lets see you put all your money on the AGW spot on the Roulette wheel.

SOURCE

Good health news at last.

chocolate

 

It would appear that eating chocolate is good for you. Wow.

A study of nearly 50,000 people found that those eating chocolate were 22 per cent less likely to suffer a stroke than those that didn't.

And those who did suffer a stroke but had indulged in chocolate were 46 per cent less likely to die as a result.

Well I never.

Still I'm sure that the fat police will come up with some refutation in due course.

H/T to the Torygraph

Thursday 11 February 2010

A propaganda broadcast on behalf of the nanny state

I'm really fed up with the way they are determined to take all pleasure out of living. The latest shite about to be pedaled.

 

Well another single malt is called for. It might ease the pain of watching that crap.

H/T to Dick Puddlecote

The Met Office. Fail

pine cone

 

Since we had this latest round of Global warming last month, I've had their website tabbed in my Browser. I also have another site called meteox tabbed. Meteox streams ahead for 3 hours and gives a good picture of the weather patterns coming in.

Last night the Met Office was predicting that there would be a yellow level of snow in Kent by Midday today.

This morning at nine O'clock the warning had changed to orange, predicting significant levels of snow.

At ten O'clock the sun was out. Not a cloud to be seen.

At 12 O'clock, the met Office site had suddenly changed to green.

Now I'd been comparing the Met Office data to Meteox and could see that there was no cloud coming towards Kent all morning.

It would seem that the Met office cannot even predict the forecast 3 hours in advance. Are their pine cones defunct? or do they just look out of the window?

If they can't get it right for 3 hours, how can they predict the next 50 years?

LOTR - The Prequel

Seeing as it only cost £25,000 to make, it's not bad.

 

madison

She didn't have Peter Jackson's £200million budget, eight years of filming time or the spectacular scenery of New Zealand to work with.

But Kate Madison could match his boundless passion - and with it managed to make her own Lord Of The Rings film.

The amateur actress was so inspired by the blockbuster Rings trilogy created by Jackson she wrote, directed and produced a prequel based on material from the original JRR Tolkien books.

 

Wednesday 10 February 2010

Blue labour?

Well it had to be done.

David Cameron Poster

H/T to GOT. It sums dave up.

Olympics, Coming for a handout near you.

We all knew it would happen. The Olympic delivery Authority And that's a new speak of the modern age, if ever I heard one.)

It would appear that the cost of the Olympic Games in London is going to cost overrun again.

The Government faces the prospect of having to raid its dwindling Olympic contingency fund yet again, with officials announcing further cost increases yesterday in the delivery of the 2012 Games.

The Olympic Delivery Authority (ODA) warned that the next 12 months would be the toughest yet as the pace of construction accelerated to meet venue completion deadlines in early 2011.

The authority, which is responsible for the infrastructure at the Games, disclosed that its costs had increased by £21 million in the past quarter.

The Millennium dome all over again. Just at the time that we are broke. Why is it that all we see is open ended contracts by Government departments? The average citizen having the plumber in,  would never be held to ransom like these fuckwits in Governments.

Why don't we just give the contractors a blank cheque at the start?

Another Dissenting Climate Scientist stifled.

resized_smokestack

A former NASA contractor whose theory demonstrating that the greenhouse effect is constant and self-regulating and that increases in human CO2 emissions are not the source of global warming is fighting an uphill battle to publish his controversial work.

Developed by prominent atmospheric physicist Dr. Ferenc Miskolczi, the new theory is enormously significant because it demolishes the prevailing doctrine of anthropogenic greenhouse warming (AGW), which blames humans for pumping CO2 into the atmosphere and triggering runaway global warming that could eventually lead to catastrophic climate change.

I must admit that I hadn't heard of this man before today. However the story makes interesting and disturbing reading.

Miskolczi’s research was greeted less than cordially by his bosses. After submitting his results to Applied Optics, a respected peer-review journal, he was told to withdraw the paper by his employer, Analytical Services and Materials, a NASA contractor. When he protested (the paper was midway through the review process), his boss withdrew it. He later confronted his NASA supervisor, Dr. Martin Mlynczak, and was simply ignored, he says.

The full study is reproduced here.

H/T to Dianna Cotter at the Examiner

Tuesday 9 February 2010

The bit they ignored in the IPCC executive summary.

While perusing some of the review comments to the IPCC’s Fourth Assessment Report, I came across the contributions of Andrew Lacis, a colleague of James Hansen’s at GISS. Lacis’s is not a name I’ve come across before but some of what he has to say about Chapter 9 of the IPCC’s report is simply breathtaking…

Remember, this guy is mainstream, not a sceptic, and you may need to remind yourself of that fact several times as you read through his comment on the executive summary of the chapter:

Here's what he wrote:

There is no scientific merit to be found in the Executive Summary. The presentation sounds like something put together by Greenpeace activists and their legal department. The points being made are made arbitrarily with legal sounding caveats without having established any foundation or basis in fact. The Executive Summary seems to be a political statement that is only designed to annoy greenhouse skeptics. Wasn’t the IPCC Assessment Report intended to be a scientific document that would merit solid backing from the climate science community – instead of forcing many climate scientists into having to agree with greenhouse skeptic criticisms that this is indeed a report with a clear and obvious political agenda. Attribution can not happen until understanding has been clearly demonstrated. Once the facts of climate change have been established and understood, attribution will become self-evident to all. The Executive Summary as it stands is beyond redemption and should simply be deleted.

And what did they do with this review? You guessed it. They rejected it.

Source

The Cheeldren are at last coming to their senses.

dennis

 

Well at least one of them.

An eight-year-old Beano fan has made a stand against PC killjoys who made his hero Dennis the Menace too nice.

Jacob Rush pleaded with the comic's bosses to return the spiky-haired character to his former naughty best after he was turned into a bit of a softy.

It's about time that someone actively complained about the Nanny state. It's a shame it has to be an eight year though. Of course he can't be prosecuted for inciting violence or hate crime.

Jacob, from Ipswich, Suffolk, said: ‘I don't like Dennis because he doesn't have his catapult or water pistol any more and he's not menacing enough - I want the old Dennis back.

The BBC makeover saw Dennis transformed into a politically correct shadow of his former self.

Personally I would like to see a grown up Dennis gunning down the Editorial board at the BBC, with an AK47 assault rifle. That's just my opinion.

Source

By Hook or by crook they've got the money back.

This has partially brightened my day up.

 

hamza

Legal aid bosses have seized the house belonging to radical cleric Abu Hamza to pay off some of his defence costs.

The Legal Services Commission appropriated the property in Greenford, west London, despite Hamza claiming it did not belong to him.

It will now be sold in an attempt to pay off some of the £300,000 of taxpayers' money spent on his legal bills. Officials hope to raise £280,000 from the sale.

Of course it would make my day if he lost his appeal against extradition to the USA.

Monday 8 February 2010

Think of the Cheeldren

No, just use them as pawns to justify your ends. Oh, and do get them to coerce their parents while they're about it.

Bastards.

Have a read here if you are new to being a skeptic.

Skeptics funded by "Big Oil"

bear-article_1555847c

This sceptic only wishes that was the case.

Professor Bob Watson, the chief scientific adviser to the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) and former chairman of the IPCC, said yesterday that the backlash is the result of a campaign: "It does appear that there's a concerted effort by a number of sceptics to undermine the credibility of the evidence behind human-induced climate change." He added: "I am sure there are some sceptics who may well be funded by the private sector to try to cast uncertainty."

I've been skeptical of the Science of climate change for some considerable time now, but only entered the Blogosphere a short while ago. It was a relief to me to see that I was not alone in questioning the Science and spin about Climate change.

In the seventies we were bombarded by propaganda informing us that we were entering a new Ice age. Where is it?

In the eighties and nineties we were assured that we were all going to burn in hell due to AGW.

Now although AGW is still touted incessantly, the title has subtly changed to "Climate change". Could it be that these eminent scientists, the Politicians, NGO's, and the industries who stand to profit from this, are desperate to keep it alive at all costs?

Come on Shell, BP, Exxon Mobile and all you others. Where's my bloody money?

Oh and bye the way, there's more of that white global warming stuff falling now.

Publish or be Damned

 

 

H/T  to Prodicus

A memo to the "Warmists".

I liked this. Very indicitive about the way I feel about the Cult of global warming.

 

Dear global warming fanatics,

Please. Stop. You’re embarrassing yourselves. Take a deep breath, and try to understand what has happened to you during the past month. You need to accept that your dreams of global domination are over. Increasingly shrill attempts to terrify the masses into ignoring Climagate are only making you look foolish. The con job you’ve been running for the last thirty years is busted forever.

Read the rest over at Hot air.

Saturday 6 February 2010

Devine comedy

I watched the interview with disgraced MP Jim Devine with incredulity. Not only was he unable to realise that what he did was just plain wrong, but he couldn't get his facts straight.

He was floundering to the Nth degree.

When asked to justify his annual bill for cleaning, (£3500 of our money. Does he not know how to use a vacuum cleaner?) he has the audacity to claim that he paid it all upfront. He then contradicts himself several times, with in one sentence £180 per month, and in the next £150 per month. Now even at £180 per month that does not add up to £3500 for a year.

Then he can't even get it right over what period he was claiming for. And this is one of elected MP's.

Next he is quizzed over his expense on stationary. He'd been caught flipping his stationary allowance into office expenses. His excuse was "a whip told me I could do it". Should he not have contacted the expenses committee if he had doubts.

Just go and watch it for yourself.

What a labour Tosser. If he represents you, then I'm sorry. Then again you voted him in you sorry tossers.

Friday 5 February 2010

Thursday 4 February 2010

So now they come for the E smokers.

Just received this in my inbox. It's not about health is it? It's all about maximising revenue.

ciggie

The E-NI/E.Cig Market is under direct threat from government legislation that would make the Selling of nicotine containing products illegal.

Please see the link for full details on the MHRAs Public consultation Document (MLX 364): The regulation of nicotine containing products

HOW WILL THIS LEGISLATION, IF PASSED AFFECT YOU! 

1. As from the 21st June 2010 all selling of un-licensed nicotine products (E.liquids, Pre Filled Cartridges Containing Nicotine) will be banned. Companies such as The Electronic Cigarette Company and Totally Wicked would be shut down by Trading Standards.

2.It will leave you with no other option but to either start smoking again, go cold turkey or buy risky nicotine products from overseas.

WHAT YOU CAN DO?

There are a number of pro-active steps you  AS AN INDIVIDUAL can take.. Please do not let apathy overtake you…We aren’t.


1. Write a full Testimony in long hand of how E-Nis/E.Cigs have helped you, The health benefits, the Emotional Benefits, Benefits to your family and friends, the cost savings. In this testimony highlight the effect this ban would have on YOUR life. Be accurate, forthright and rationale. Upload and then Email a signed and dated copy to accounts @ @theelectroniccigarette.co.uk

2. Send  a hardcopy via recorder delivery letter to Amanda Bryan, MHRA, Room 14-212, Market Towers, 1 Nine Elms Lane, London, SW8 5NQ

3. Sign this online petition and add your comments. http://www.petitiononline.com/vaping/petition.html

4. Respond directly to the MHRA via their response to MLX 364 online form

5. Contact your MP and GP, let them know how this ban will impact your health and your life.
Remember your voice is important, we cannot allow this legislation to be passed. It is destructive and ill thought out.
ACT NOW AND DEFEND YOUR RIGHTS.

They really can't leave us alone. Can they.