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Sunday 31 March 2013

What if......

We're heading for a new ice age?

All we've be led to believe over the last twenty years is that we are all going to die because of catastrophic global warming. What if all those overpaid scientists are wrong, and we've been heading in the wrong direction?

I mean where is this warming in the last three years? Where are the drier summers (UK)?

The truth is that we have had three abysmal years in a row of wet and cold conditions. In fact the beginning of this year has been the coldest year in the last 208 years.

German meteorologists say that the start of 2013 is now the coldest in 208 years.
If this is true then our Governments, past and present, have some serious questions to be asked.

1. Why, with all the resources at your disposal, did you get it so disastrously wrong?

2. In light of this fact, will you now order the mass building of conventional power stations to cover the looming energy gap?

3. Will you now withdraw funding from those organisations and persons that have promoted and encouraged this myth of Global warming? (University of East Anglia, and the Chief Scientist spring to mind).

4. Will you you now close down, or at least re-order the Department of Energy and Climate change? And sack the head of.

5. Will you immediately stop the building of anymore Bird Mincers Wind Turbines, and insist that as the existing ones breakdown, no money will be wasted on their repair?

6. Feed in Tariffs. Will you remove these forthwith? 

7.. And Finally. Will you make a fulsome apology for believing this scam? On the front page of all the MSM for a minimum of at least one week would be the very least you can do..

I'm not holding my breath.

They're coming for you next.

For all you anti-smokers and the righteous out there that like Alcohol, are overweight, or like salt on your fish and chips,  you’re next.
The pic above is the template that is being used to scare you shitless that whatever you do is wrong and to make you ashamed of that little vice you have.
The powers that be, governments and many multinational organisations including the Club of Rome and  their agenda 21, have realised how scare tactics can keep you, the little people, under control. There is no study that has proved that ETS has actually killed anyone, but if you tell a lie enough times and appear to have authority, then people will actually believe it.

Now that they have de-normalised smokers, the politburo of public health have seen that their template has worked and now they're slowly trying it on other products that offend their nu-puritan ethos.

Traffic light labelling on food, health warnings on labels and minimum pricing off alcohol, and laughably less holes on salt cellars.

We are fast becoming the most miserable people in the world where everything you consume is deemed bad for you. There's been a complete switch from curing the sick to trying to prevent them being sick at all. They don't seem to see that what they might gain in physical health is matched by a rise in guilt and misery on the mental side of the equation. We do not need such a a worry in these difficult times.

I could also write about the fuel poverty we will come to experience in the next few years to barking mad policies to satisfy the green nut jobs.

However it is Easter Sunday, and I think it best not to swear on this day.

Friday 29 March 2013

Thursday 28 March 2013

I’m busy.


My Eldest daughter and her husband had a baby boy in April last year, (That’s another story to be told) and they were married in June. Of course this precluded them having a honeymoon.

So today they set off to fly to the Big Apple for a five day visit to include fine dining and copious amounts of shopping. My son in law even managed to persuade the airline to upgrade them to business class.

So here are Mrs FE and myself living in their house for the next few days. I find it quite strange.

One slight problem is that the grand child has tonsillitis and is on antibiotics. Now as far as I’m led to believe the Tonsils are in the throat. In that case why is it that he projectiled shite all over me whilst I was changing his nappy?

Just when I’d got used to a life where the children had flown the coop. The terror is programmed to repeat it self.

Wednesday 27 March 2013

Tuesday 26 March 2013

Thought for the day.


I’d prefer it referred to whiskey. Still, it’s the thought that counts.

Sunday 24 March 2013

Hell is what you make of it.

Last night I hosted a Smokey, Drinkie, TakeawayeeTM  (I thought about this before you Leggie) and great fun was had by all. Complete relaxation was the order of the day. Everyone ordered their meal of choice (Indian was the choice of takeaway), drank their favourite tipple, and chilled out (Oxymoron alert) in front of the roaring log fire.

The reason I’m writing this post is that all present had one complete agreement which surprised me. Everyone present expressed the view that our esteemed leader, one “Call me Dave” Cameron was a complete arsehole, and hadn’t a clue about real life.

Another topic which came up was “Global warming”. When I said that the met office had stated before Christmas that Global temperatures had remained static for the last fifteen years the majority agreed with me that we are being scammed out of our money through carbon taxes.

What was most interesting was the age grouping ranged from 25 to 64, was that all the participants were  broadly in agreement.

From the conversation last night it would seem that all these traditional conservative voters have realised that “Call me Dave” has inadvertently scuttled the chance of a tory party winning the next election.

My suggestion to David Cameron is to sneak out of No.10 and find a smokey drinkey..

If not, you’re toast



Saturday 23 March 2013

I’m celebrating earth hour.

The central heating is roaring away, the open fire is lit and blazing away, pumping CO2 and heat up the chimney. All the lights are on.

Am I doing it wrong?

Friday 22 March 2013

It’s going to be cold and expensive.


It would seem that not only are we desperately short of gas reserves, but in the medium term we are going to be screwed on our energy bills.

Britain's gas reserves could run out in 36 hours – leaving the country dependent on costly foreign imports.

The UK’s gas stores have less than two days’ supplies remaining after plunging temperatures forced millions of householders to turn up their heating.

And today there were warnings from energy giant SSE of the 'very real risk' of the lights going out in Britain.

With more snow forecast today and the unseasonable freeze to continue into next week, the UK could be left relying on expensive imports from Norway through an under-sea pipeline.

The shortfall is likely to push up the long-term price of gas and could result in household tariffs rising by up to 15 per cent before next winter, adding more than £200 on to family bills, analysts warned.

After having horrendous energy bills for the last twelve months I decided this year to change supplier and opt for a fixed tariff. I was actually quite surprised that the actual charge per kWh on this new tariff is actually less than I was paying last year. Definitely win win. (Smugly smirks).

Even if the supplies do get cut off, I’ve invested in a sizeable stockpile of coal and logs for the open fireplace in the living room. At least I’ll be able to keep the house from freezing entirely.

What bugs me is, if I can work it out, why can’t DECC with it’s huge departmental budget, not see this coming? If the power does go off  we should be calling for the Ministers’ heads on a plate and the disbandment of the entire department.

Fuck me. I’ve just seen an entire squadron of pigs do a flyby over my house.

A sober thought


Thursday 21 March 2013

Bloody Doctors.

My son’s one at least.

A couple of years ago you may recall that my son was diagnosed with Cancer of the thyroid. Over time he had an operation to remove his thyroid and a couple of courses of radiotherapy.

The only downside now is that he has a medication regime that he will have to adhere to for the rest of his life. This consists of daily doses of calcium and Thyroxin to do what his thyroid used to do.

A short while ago, his Oncologist decided that his Thyroxin dose was inadequate and need a higher daily dose. Last week my son contacted his GP to request resupply of his Thyroxin and let the GP know that the specialist had recommended the higher dose.

This bloody doctor of his insisted on confirming with the specialist before a dose change could be actioned. He wouldn’t take the word of my son. (Incidentally my son has a Masters degree in Chemistry).

Consequentially my son had no medication for a week as his doctor didn’t see the need to actually phone the Oncologist and check the dosage.

My son’s boss actually had to send my son home this afternoon as the boy looked so ill.

This is not the first time my son’s GP has been an utter prat. Last year he decided he could prescribe a generic thyroxin that was cheaper. Which didn’t work in my son’s case. His specialist was not amused then. He will probably and hopefully go ballistic at the GP.

I’m not sure why they are paid so much.

Wednesday 20 March 2013

Beer and the budget

Much has made of the fact that the chancellor has cut beer duty by a penny per pint.

FFS. Around my way a pint is around £3.20. A penny means bugger all.

Why do they bother with these meaningless gestures?

Now if it had been £1, then I would celebrate. Meanwhile the pubs will have to do without my custom.

Stick em up Cyprus.

My last word on the Cyprus debacle.



Tuesday 19 March 2013

Monday 18 March 2013

That Cyprus thing.

You’re walking along the road, minding your own business, when a man walks up to you and demands you handover your wallet.

In your wallet is 100 euros.

The man opens your wallet and takes out 7 euros, and then walks off.

What just happened? In my mind it is just straight theft. To the EU it’s just a way of balancing the Euro books.

After this little escapade I can see that anyone in the southern EU area (Spain, Portugal, Greece. etc) will now quietly begin withdrawing their savings from the banks. (Well I would).

I suspect that that little theft is going to cause more problems to EU banks that are up shit street already.

Just saying.

Sunday 17 March 2013

Good news about climate change teaching.

They’re not going to brainwash the kiddies until they’re fourteen now.

Debate about climate change has been cut out of the national curriculum for children under 14, prompting claims of political interference in the syllabus by the government that has failed "our duty to future generations".

The latest draft guidelines for children in key stages 1 to 3 have no mention of climate change under geography teaching and a single reference to how carbon dioxide produced by humans impacts on the climate in the chemistry section. There is also no reference to sustainable development, only to the "efficacy of recycling", again as a chemistry subject.

Wow. Especially as I read this in the Guardian. (Spits).

The alarmists are appalled:

"What you seem to have is a major political interference with the geography syllabus," said the government's former science adviser Prof Sir David King.

"It's just hollowed out argument," said John Ashton, the government's climate change envoy until last summer, and a founder of the independent not-for-profit group E3G. "Climate change should have as much prominence as anything in teaching geography in schools."

Maybe the schools can be left to teach real science. Why should children below fourteen need to know about the science of climate change anyway? Then again of course the alarmists need a new generation of children to badger their parents into adopting the global warming narrative.

Friday 15 March 2013


The doctor said, 'Harry, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
I was shocked and depressed. I wondered if I had anything to live for.

I had no choice but to go under the knife.

When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of Myself.

As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I could make a new beginning and live a new life.
I saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit...'
I entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit..'
The elderly tailor eyed me briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.'
I laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said..
I tried on the suit it fitted perfectly.
As I, admired myself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
I thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed me and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
I was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
I tried on the shirt and it fitted perfectly.
I walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
I thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.
I laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34.

A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

* I’ve been feeling like shit, Decent posts will resume in the near future*

Thursday 14 March 2013


I received a message from Google this morning telling me that they are going to shut down their “Reader” application. Bloody annoying if you ask me, as I use it follow blogs and the news.

Anyone know of another programme that I can import my RSS feeds into?

Wednesday 13 March 2013

Stop It I tell you!


Apparently it’s “National No Smoking day”.

Wednesday 13 March is National No Smoking Day, which aims to help and support people who want to quit smoking.

And of course the nannying fussbuckets have dreamed up a new slogan for this year.

'Swap Fags for Swag'

I must admit the MSM have gone cold on this. I expected huge articles in support, but it seems the MSM aren’t interested this year

There’s only one thing that I can truly say about this.


*Not too strong I hope?*

Am I watching you?


Not here

Cue maniacal laughter.

Monday 11 March 2013



Since the summer (Don’t laugh), the roads in Kent have deteriorated to almost third world status. Everywhere you go there are whole (snigger) sections of road that have been shorn of the top surface. But that’s not the worst of it.

Potholes are becoming a dangerous menace. I think they’re actually breeding. Some are several centimetres deep. I certainly wouldn’t like to be a cyclist. The council say they are working on the problem but obviously not in my area.

Now that we have had a flurry of global warming, ie snow, the roads are even worse to drive on. The problem is that  snow filled potholes are like traversing a minefield without a mine detector.

I wonder how much Kent has spent of it’s road budget? I must ask.

Sunday 10 March 2013

Mown down.

Or rather worn down.


As the spring is nearly here I debated with myself whether to have the garden mower serviced and various faults fixed. (Engine that has a mind of it’s own, failing clutch, blade that is seriously knackered, fuel leak, and grass box that has seen better days).

Having rung around a received a couple of quotes I decided that the old girl had had it’s day and it was time to obtain a new one.

The new mower was delivered at O’crack sparrowfart (Nautical term) in a large cardboard box on Thursday morning and placed temporarily beside the house. Of course I couldn’t leave it there in the rain so I dragged, and I dragged, and I dragged it until it was safely on the patio. (think I might have a hernia now) I then covered it and waited for the rain to stop.

Yesterday was that day. Shouldn’t take long to assemble it, should it? After hacking the box apart with a steak knife (Useful saw tooth edge) the machine was exposed in all it’s unassembled glory. Apart from the main machine, there were the following.

Enclosed in a plastic bag was a spark plug spanner, a round bit of metal with a flat end (I’ve no idea what that’s for), An engine manual, and most importantly. the assembly pamphlet.

This is where it became a nightmare. I’m used to flat pack furniture instructions, which to me are dire at the best of times. However the assembly instructions for the mower make dire sound positively ebullient.

The written part seemed to be composed by someone not of this world. Why refer me to “diagram 19”, when it doesn't exist? What’s more the assembly drawings seemed to have been produced by a 2 year old using a 30 year old photocopier.

Every time that I thought I’d got one step right, I had to redo it when I tried the next step. Now I’m not trying to assemble the engine here, I’m just trying to get the handle, cables, and the grass box sorted. What should have taken fifteen minutes took and hour and fifteen.

Why is it that the people who are tasked with writing this garbage not take a pride in their work and do it properly? Is that not too much to ask.

Of course I’ve got the professionally produced engine manual if I need it. It’s even written in eleven languages. Pity there isn’t a section in English.

Anyone out there who can teach me Polish?

Mothers’ day


Just saying.

Friday 8 March 2013


I don’t think that the owner has really read the handbook.


Thursday 7 March 2013

Wednesday 6 March 2013

There are two sides to the story on Climate Change.

On one side we have Slate with an infographic with the caption :


How to Win Any Climate Change Argument
A flow chart for debating with denialists”


On the other we have a really delicious fisking of the graphic from Wendy McElroy:

“How to Lose a Climate Change Argument”

Her starting comment before she shreds the graphic:

“All I can say is, I pity the fool that tries to use that flowchart on me. Below the break, if this subject doesn't bore you to tears by now, is my fisking of their arguments.

The arguments seem to progress from right to left, so I'll address them in that order.”

Truly delightful.

Tuesday 5 March 2013

Good excuse.



Seen in a street nowhere near me.

Monday 4 March 2013

Sunday 3 March 2013

Alcohol Concern.

Are we going to see the demise of this self righteous, bunch of Nu Puritans in the near future?

Cameron's minimum alcohol price plans to outlaw cheap drinks are 'dead in the water'

  • A minister said rise would be 'inconceivable' when cost of living will be issue at next election

I’m hoping that this will happen now that they are not significantly sucking from the Government teat this year.

I notice that their accounts aren’t published for the financial year 2011 – 2012, but here is part of the Chairman’s address in the financial report 2010 – 2011


Sorry for the poor clarity, but their PDF for some reason disallowed me from cut and paste.

I must admit I do find that their chairman has quite a history for jumping on every bandwagon available. Could he not just work at one job and do it well. The rest of us strive to obtain that goal.

Hopefully these nannying fussbuckets are nearing the time that they’ll have to get out into the real world and see what the rest of us are having to deal with.

ASH. You’re next.

Friday 1 March 2013

The British Energy Challenge

It seems that The Department of Energy and Climate Change (DECC) are a bit miffed that their message about AGW is not getting across to us plebs. Or if it is, and we’re just ignoring it for the fuckwittery that it is.

So they’ve decided that they need a bit of outside help to cajole the general public to accept their idiocy.

The Department of Energy and Climate Change (“the Department”) is inviting tenders for the development of a public engagement plan to generate greater popular acceptance of the need to move to a low-carbon energy system, preparing the public for the scale of the investment and change required in the UK’s energy system – The British Energy Challenge.

Alright it’s only a three month contrick contract paying £20,000, but it’s money that shouldn’t be frittered away.

When the whole global warming debacle is finally exposed in the public eye to be the hoax that it is. I would hope that they will be forced to keep the name DECC just to remind us what Tossers they are.