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Sunday 4 September 2011

We wuz robbed

Whilst on Holiday in Crete we were the subject of a burglary at our Villa. The puss filled, pox ridden, bastard sons of whores poor downtrodden miscreants gained access to the Villa and relieved some of us of cameras, mobile phones, and money.

I lost a battered still camera and a rather decrepit handycam, but what pissed me off the most was:


Now I’ve been attached to that back pack figuratively speaking for years. It and me have travelled hundreds of thousands of miles together. It was a true friend brutally wrenched from me.

RIP, true and honoured friend.

It’s the little things taken from you that hurt the most. Bugger the cameras. I really was a crap photographer anyway.

Bad day?

The next time you feel that nobody loves you, no one cares, or that no one ever notices you,
think of this bloke:

dead worker

Things getting you Down?  Well Then, Consider These ...

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents The next  Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was  all about.  Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits  Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson , the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad  Day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the ExxonValdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.  At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank  of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are you OK now? -  No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.  Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What? STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits. God is good!

There now, feeling better?