I’m back. I think.

In the last post I intimated that I was travelling to the North to assist my son in moving home. Well that happened in the usual chaotic fashion that only moving house can entail. Your FE now wishes that he’d never let on, to his son, that FE was good at DIY. I’ve put up curtain tracks, towel rails, toilet roll holders, installed a washing machine, and repaired the boiler. And I’ve now driven 300 miles south to free the cats from their cattery prison camp. (Actually I think they preferred to be there, to tell you the truth. The scratches on my arm feel really sore) I’ll try and post something that you might be interest in in the next couple of  days, but soon I have to head back up north for a more important matter.

My son has to go into hospital as he’s just been diagnosed as having cancer of the Thyroid. This will entail removal of the thyroid gland in it’s entirety, followed by radiotherapy treatment using Iodine 1-131. Worrying times ahead. However to look on the bright side, his type of cancer of the Thyroid has a very high cure rate. 97% to quote the statistics.

What is most worrying is that apparently he’s liable to set of all the scanners at airports within three months of his treatment.

Bugger. We’re going on holiday in august.

Now before you all call me a heartless bugger, my son thinks as pragmatically as me.  We never give up or come over all weepy.

*Sob*

How to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars See If They Slow Down.

2. On all your check stubs, write " For Marijuana."

3. Skip down the street Rather than Walk, and see how many looks you get.

4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

5. Sing Along At The Opera.

6.   When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream" I Won!   I Won!"

7. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the the Car Park, Yelling "Run For Your Lives!  They're Loose!"

8. Tell Your Children over Dinner, "Due To the Economy, We are Going To Have To Let One of You Go."

AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE CHEMIST, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.