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Wednesday 4 July 2012

Don’t have kids

Or at least not the female variety.


On Saturday my eldest daughter (Bless her) gets married. Yours truly has spent the last week or so running around in small circles tying up all the loose ends. Final fitting of THAT dress. Sorting out the collection and return of the morning suits. And of course the worst part of all. Bloody well having to pay for it all.

Here’s a little snippet of the costs involved for 110 guests.

The Venue: £ 5,000 (We’re renting the place FFS, not putting down a deposit to buy).

The DRESS!: £1,100. (I dared to mention a charity shop might be a good place to look. I spent two uncomfortable nights on the Sofa, for that heretical remark). 

A photographer: £1,150. Those photos better be bloody good for that price. I expect at least some satellite imagery to be included.

And of course the……..

Wedding Breakfast : £ 8,750. FFS £80 a head for lamb chops, or whatever they’re called these days.

And that is just some of the cost of a thoroughly modern wedding. And before you have a go at me for the extravagance, If I didn’t concur with the arrangements I would be blamed for being anti feminist, and I must think of the Cheeeeldren.

And that’s why my posts have been sparse.

And don’t get me started on that speech I have to make.