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Sunday 13 May 2012

be careful lobbing at the green

Guess what happens?

Bet you didn’t guess correctly. Me neither.

Book Report - Priceless

Students  at a local school were assigned to read two books,  'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill  Clinton.



One  student turned in the following book report, with the  proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this  report

Titanic:        cost -  $29.99
Clinton:       cost -  $29.99

Titanic:        Over 3  hours to  read
Clinton:       Over 3  hours to read

Titanic:        The story of  Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent  catastrophe.
Clinton:       The  story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden  love,  and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:        Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:       Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:        In one scene,  Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:       Ditto  for Bill.

Titanic:        During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:       Ditto for  Monica.

Titanic:        Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:       Let's not go there.

Titanic:        Rose gets to keep her jewellery
Clinton:       Monica is  forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:        Rose  remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:       Clinton remembers  Monica for the rest of his life.

Titanic:        Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:       Monica...ooh, let's not go there,  either.

Titanic:        Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:       Bill goes  home to Hilary - basically the same thing.