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Wednesday 30 June 2010

The ASA should grow some balls.

I'm sure some people are professionals at finding offence in almost anything these days.

This poster has been banned.


I mean there must have been thousands of complaints.

Oh Noes

However, the ASA received 33 complaints that the ads were unsuitable to be seen by children, were offensive and condoned or encouraged antisocial behaviour.

Weapon of mass destruction

Come on. Own up whoever made this.


Tuesday 29 June 2010

About time too.

At last the BBC is being forced into the real world.

The BBC was facing revolt from thousands of staff today after taking an axe to its final-salary pension scheme.

Many staff will be worse off in retirement under the proposals as the corporation looks to counteract a £2 billion deficit in its pension fund.

Especially if it could affect this insufferable Twat.


But then I expect he's safe.

From the comments:

"Preston thinks he is the Queen Mother of broadcasting!"

Police fail



Make sure you get up to date intelligence in future

I must obey the Righteous.

And I will use the advice printed on the packet below.


Says it all.

Picture nicked from....... Wait for it.

Smoking at a crossroads. Deborah Arnott Chief Executive ASH

I'll take her advice. Thanks Debs. You old crone sweety.

Just so you know

This Blog is a smoking zone.


If you're an anti-smoker. Then stop reading now.

H/T to Fuel injected Moose for the logo.

Monday 28 June 2010

The thugs are at it still.

The Message still doesn't seem to be getting through to the plod that:

It is not illegal to take photographs in a public place.

Authoritarian cunts. How can they expect us to abide by the law when they make it up as they go along.


The usual weasel words.

The Metropolitan police has issued a statement to the British Journal of Photography - a spokeswoman said:

"It is clearly not the intention of the MPS to prevent people from taking photographs, although, as the public would expect, officers will remain vigilant, particularly in crowded public places. Any allegations or complaints about police treatment of photographers are taken very seriously by the MPS."

She adds: "Anyone who is unhappy with the actions of individual police officers can make a formal complaint, which will be thoroughly investigated. Although at this time we have not received a complaint about this incident and no allegations of crime have been made, we will investigate the circumstances. Our officers do receive guidance around the issue of photography through briefings and internal communications and we continue to drive this work forward.

Sunday 27 June 2010

Yes. Get on yer bloody bike.



I read and listened to the MSM about the latest wheeze to get people in jobs by actually looking for work where there is actually  work with some interest.

I was brought up with the philosophy that you find the work. The work doesn't find you. I can see how those raised in the North of the country had it easy, in the fact that most of the major manufacturing industries were based there.

In the south it was always different. We didn't have huge manufacturing industries (I'm talking about south of the Watford gap here), recruiting in the thousands, just small companies trying to grow.

To get to the point. My family have always travelled a fair distance to work. No nipping in to the factory five minutes down the road.

My wife commuted into the smoke for many years before we started a family. She usually left the house before 0800 and returned not before 1900.

The Eldest daughter has moved to London in order to better her self. (An uphill struggle given London property prices.

The second daughter has to commute to work via the M25. Not for the faint hearted in the Rush hour

The son has moved to the North east in order to get a job in the degree that he obtained.

Me. I just travelled the world for 43 years.

Friday 25 June 2010

Friday Night

Nothing to see here. Move along now.

Thursday 24 June 2010


cat posting

I'm now expected to feed the second daughter's cats over the weekend. Bloody scrounging animals. But we love the little devils. I'm not sure why?

Another Quango that should go

the National Centre for Social Research.

From their website:


Let's take the various sections and break it down.

Education. I thought that would be handled by the department of education.

Crime and Criminal Justice. What's the Home office doing then?

Employment, skills and training. I'm pretty sure we have a ministry for that.

Income and benefits. Yep. A ministry as well.

Family Life, relationships and children. Keep your noses out of our lives. What I do in my house has fuck all to do with your snooping.

Health and Nutrition. I'm sure we had a health service for that. I'm pretty sure I pay a lot of tax for that department.

Transport and the Environment. I most certainly pay through the nose via VED and taxes on flying.

Social Inclusion. A fuzzy left wing phrase that says I have to pay more tax to house Shaz and her 8 kids in the style they think they are entitled. (46 inch plazma in every room).

Social and political attitudes. None of your business.

This is an outfit that is a registered charity. But look where the income comes from.


What I'm trying to get across is, if all those Ministries, with all their vast staff, can't do their own research, then they deserve a culling. FFS £41 million.

ASH at it again.



As they say. Tell a lie enough times, and people will believe it's the truth.

I was just trawling through their site and found this recent press release:

A study measuring the impact of England’s smokefree law on hospital admissions for heart attacks has shown that the legislation resulted in 1200 fewer emergency admissions to hospital in the 12 months following the implementation of the 2007 law. [1] This is the latest of a number of studies measuring the short-term health benefits of smokefree laws [2] and the first to evaluate the impact on heart attacks in England.

This has been trotted out on various occasions since the smoking ban came into force.

The fact is that there has been no significant change since the ban in 2007. The downward trend was already well established. Most likely for a multitude of reasons.

The simplest way of showing this is by the use of the actual data in the study:

Emergency AMI admissions in English hospitals

2002/03: 61,498

2003/04: 60,680 (a fall of 1.33%)

2004/05: 58,803 (a fall of 3.1%)

2005/06: 55,752 (a fall of 5.19%)

2006/07: 53,964 (a fall of 3.21%)

2007/08: 51,664 (a fall of 4.26%)

To me the figures speak for themselves. I think ASH should stick their figures up their pipe (I.e. the fundamental orifice in their backside) and smoke them.

Wednesday 23 June 2010


Just watching two players who have been on court for 9 1/2 hours. 2 sets each. However they are playing for the 56 game each in the final set.

Certainly more than our world cup squad could ever achieve.


The Government will support any bid for a special grant from Cumbria Police following the massacre of 12 people by gunman Derrick Bird, a minister said.

The force is conducting a "huge and complex" inquiry that involves 30 crime scenes, 12 victims and 11 seriously injured people, Home Office Minister James Brokenshire said.

Why is it at all  complex? As I see it, you have a deranged man with two guns, who shot a number of people in full view, and has since killed himself. Seems like an open and shut case to me.

Then again is it because of this:

The Government's offer of help comes after the police grant for 2010-11 for forces across England and Wales was cut by £125 million.

Sherlock the engineer has spoken.



*I was going to do another post about my daughters, but I've been rumbled*

Tuesday 22 June 2010




Since the budget today I haven't heard a squeak out of ASH or Alcohol Concern.

Not only is minimum pricing  not coming in. But shock, horror. NO tax rises on fags and booze.

This may be the quiet before the storm. I expect a whining like the sound of a 1000 vuvulesas in the coming days.

On that note I'm off for a drink and a fag*

*If you are a citizen of the USA. In the Uk, a fag, is slang for a cigarette.

Monday 21 June 2010

The phone rang......



Sure enough it was from the eldest daughter. Just yesterday we had been trawling around for wedding venues. So I presumed it was about that.

Oh no.

(I won't bore you with the one asking how to bake a potato)

She and her prospective husband have put in an offer for a flat in St Albans. Fair enough you think. Good on them.


I expect the next call will be asking me to help out with the deposit.

What should I do, as a pensioner living near the poverty line. (Ok, not quite).

1. Tell her to F off?

2. Lend her everything she asks for?

3. Haggle?

4. Tell her to walk the streets?

5. Sell her cats?

6. Borrow from a lone shark?

5. None of the above?

Answers on an E card.

Sunday 20 June 2010


I'll never be able to watch Lord's of the Ring ever again.


I'm devastated

H/T to OBO

How did you spend Fathers' day?



I spent it driving to prospective wedding venues for my daughter. Again.

Apart from the price, the two we visited today were wildly different. One was a Tudor manor and the other was a large palladian style mansion.

The tudor style manor house although being smaller was breathtaking in it's simplicity and olde world charm and had a certain warmth with vast amounts of timbered beams.

The mansion although very grand in manner with fluted columns in the hallway and fountains in the drive, was let down by health and safety laws. Where there would have been arches allowing the reception areas to flow together, these had been replaced with hideously modern fire doors. Everywhere you went, you felt compartmentalised into boxes.

All in all, I think the tudor manor will be the choice of venue.

Then of course I don't get a say in the decision. I'm just the mug father of the Bride. I'm just expected to pay for the damn thing. Oh and make a speech.

Diary of a secret Blogger.

My family are most definitely Middle class. However over the years they have all been conditioned to accept what the MSM puts out.

My Wife, when she watches the Beeb, believes all the Lies and spin. She's a highly paid Business analyst, though why she can't analyse real life is beyond me.

The eldest Daughter works in the City, and also believes the crap we are fed.

Second daughter fills me with hope as she does question what she reads in the MSM.

I give up with the boy. He's got a Masters in Chemistry and believes in global warming.

Should I care?

Friday 18 June 2010


My eldest daughter recently became engaged. All well and good you might think, The Filthy Engineer is getting rid of another millstone. It's bloody hard work and potentially expensive. She is looking to buy rather than rent and therefore I've been dragged halfway round southern England looking at properties. Apart from that, I'm also driving around half the country looking at expensive wedding venues.

From the asides I hear from my wife to the daughter, I have a feeling that i'm going to be poorer in the near future. I.e deposit on flat, and a large contribution to the wedding.


One daughter that can be sold into slavery. Apply now at FE towers. Credit card payments accepted

P.S There are a load of alcoholics in my family. The last daughter's wedding cost me £ 2000 in drinks for the evening do.

Je M'apelle francais.

OMG, I've entered Europe.

It was the CO2 that did it.

Thursday 17 June 2010

If it saves one child.........

You know how the righteous use this phrase to try and ban everything.

Firstly, I'd like to know who this one child is that keeps getting its life saved. It's either enormously lucky, or a stupid little toe-rag. Probably the latter – it does keep getting into these scrapes that it has to be rescued from. If someone can let me know the little bastard's name and address, I'll undertake to go round and put it permanently out of our misery.

Job done.

Another victim of ill thought out laws.

A grandmother has been jailed for five years for possessing a "family heirloom" World War II pistol.

Gail Cochrane, 53, had kept the gun for 29 years following the death of her father, who had been in the Royal Navy.

Police found the weapon, a Browning self-loading pistol, during a search of her home in Dundee while looking for her son.

She admitted illegal possession of the firearm, an offence with a minimum five-year jail term under Scots law.

Cases like these beggar belief. How on earth is this "Justice".

And as for Judge Lady stupid Smith. Can she not see how see how the ordinary man in the street will percieve this?

The judge said she was unable to find herself satisfied that this was one of the rare cases in which exceptional circumstances existed.

She said: "The result is I have no alternative but to sentence Mrs Cochrane to a period of five years."

Technically she is right. But oh so morally wrong.

I'm going to lie down in a darkened room

Here's the whole story.

Wednesday 16 June 2010


How Grammar can corrupt the young.


Am I perverting the internet with this filth?

A Tale of Two Cities or... a picture tells more than 1,000 words!

This is Lahore in Pakistan...



And this is Dewsbury in the United Kingdom...


tk dewsbury muslims-004-jpg


Something odd? Can't quite put my finger on it............

What do a puppy, a bulldozer, and Hells Angels have in common.

hells angels

A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria when he made a rude gesture at a group of Hells Angels, hurled a puppy at them and then escaped on a stolen bulldozer.

WTF. But it gets better.

After making his getaway, he stole the bulldozer from a construction site, and attempted to drive it to Munich. However, it was not fast enough, and his snail-like pace caused a 3-mile traffic jam near the southern town of Allershausen, according to a report in the English-language newspaper The Local, which cited the daily tz.

Apparently he was suffering from depression.

No puppies were hurled hurt in the writing of this article.



*The cat will get it though, if it climbs over the keyboard again*

Scoop. Whales save planet.



Who would of thunk it? Whale shit is saving the planet from biggest ever scare story man made global warming.

Sperm whales offset their carbon footprint by stimulating plant growth with their own faeces, scientists have discovered.

Australian researchers worked out that Southern Ocean sperm whales release about 50 tonnes of iron when they defecate every year.

This stimulates the growth of phytoplankton - which absorb carbon dioxide during photosynthesis.

Phytoplankton are marine plants which are eaten in turn by tiny marine animals - zooplankton -  which are then eaten by larger sea animals.

Must enlarge the pond at FE towers.

Tuesday 15 June 2010

Thou doth protest too much.


There seems to be a new group of islamofascists in town.

They really are playing with fire in the current situation where we are getting reports of more deaths of servicemen by the day.

I respect their right to free speech but fear that those of a patriotic persuasion may snap in the near future. There may be blood on the streets soon.

A group of predominantly Muslim protesters gathered in Barking town centre, in east London, as members of the 1st Battalion Royal Anglian Regiment marched through the streets.

One witness said: "There were about 25 to 50 Muslim protesters carrying placards with things like 'Muslims Against Crusades' and 'British Soldiers Go To Hell'.


"Then there was a counter-protest of about 100 guys barracking them."

I gather that these were members of "The English Defence League", who proceeded to pelt the MAC with beer and sausages.

The URL for Muslims against crusade if you are interested.

However it's either overloaded or else they've got crap computing power as it is almost impossible to get on there. Mind you, the message I left there with mahommed and Kiddy fidler in the same sentence might have sent their server into meltdown.

Lies, damn lies, and statistics.



An interesting article I've been reading this morning about the fervour of the Anti smoking lobby.

Here are a few bites of the cherry:


The Antismoking Lobby has perfected the art of media sound bites. Short, sweet, sticky to the mind, almost totally void of meaning … but deadly in their effectiveness. They are just more lies though, and if you know them you can laugh when you hear them. Some to watch for:

Antismokers claim smoking causes 400,000 deaths a year. (Actually, this is a computer generated imaginary number. And half of those imaginary deaths occur after age 72 … almost 20% of them after age 85!)

Antismokers claim scientific studies are unanimous and unequivocal in proving secondary smoke is killing thousands from lung cancer.
(Actually, the vast majority fail to find even a basic statistically significant link. The UN’s huge 1998 study actually found significant protection from lung cancer in children exposed to secondary smoke at home!)

Antismokers claim smoke contains 4,000 poisons and carcinogens.
(Actually, the EPA can only identify 432: the rest are theory. In toxicology “The dose makes the poison.” Nonsmokers never absorb enough smoke to even approach OSHA safety concern levels for any of them!)

Antismokers claim secondary smoke is just like Asbestos and Radon.
(Actually, sunshine, beer and sawdust are also all Class A Carcinogens.)

Antismokers claim having a non-smoking section in a restaurant is the same as having a non-pissing section in a pool.
(Actually, since pool water is changed about 1x/year and the air in a decent restaurant is changed about 50,000x/year, they’re not the same at all!)

Antismokers claim California’s extreme bans reduced lung cancer by 14%.
(Actually, that drop occurred in 1996… two years before their total ban!)

Antismokers claim that uncounted masses of hospitality workers are dying every year from secondary smoke.
(Actually, “uncounted” is absolutely right… they must all be stacked in a pile next to Saddam Hussein’s nukes and watched over by OJ’s “real killer.”)

You can read the whole article at the Encyclopedia.

It's an easy read, that you can print out and thrust in an antismokers face. (Preferably rolled up, end first).

Monday 14 June 2010

Even when smokers die they're still in the wrong.


Cystic fibrosis sufferer Lynsey Scott, of Wigan, died months after surgery at Wythenshawe Hospital last year.

Sad but it happens.

Well the crux of the matter is that she had a double lung transplant. All well and good.

But oh Noes.

Shock horror. The lungs were from a smoker.

The father of Lynsey who died after a double lung transplant said she would have been "horrified" to discover the organs were from a smoker of 30 years.

What is it with the righteous, that even when a good deed has been done to prolongue this woman's life, they still have to castigate the donor, because he or she smoked.

She was bloody lucky to get the transplant in any case.

And now she didn't die because of that lung transplant.

She died a few months later in July. Tests later concluded the primary cause of death was pneumonia.

Well Mr Scott and the NHS. Tough shit. My lungs are going to the crematorium with me.

My second Quango for the chop.


The Food Standards Agency.

The FSA was established on 1 April 2000
by Act of Parliament (Food Standards
Act 1999).

I wonder what we did before this quango was established?

We did of course have this:

The Meat Hygiene Service (MHS) was
originally established on 1st April 1995.

What  I can't understand is why did we ever need them in the first place? In my childhood we never had people dying by the thousands, with bodies littering the houses and streets of the country.

Why not, you ask?

Because we had cookery classes in school which taught the basics about food preparation, storage and hygiene.

We also had parents who passed on their knowledge gained by their experience.

And none of this cost an eye watering £155,000,000 per annum.

The net cost of the FSA was £155m against
available funding of £160m to 31 March

Their success rate is astounding. Look at the huge amount of successful prosecutions that they have accomplished with taxpayer funded millions.

However, it is possible to report on all
those cases that were concluded during
2008/09. Overall, 18 cases (comprising
a total of 106 individual charges) were
brought before the courts by the FSA,
Defra, or Procurators fiscal during the year.
The charges laid in these cases covered a
total of 41 separate referrals from the MHS.
Convictions were secured in 14 of the
cases. One case resulted in acquittal with
proceedings withdrawn in three cases.

Rant over. I rest my case.



Saturday 12 June 2010

I wonder?

Pass The Butter ... Please.  

 This is interesting . .. .

Margarine  was originally manufactured to fatten  turkeys.  When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put  all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their  heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get  their money back. 

It was a white substance with no food appeal  so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter.  How do you like it?   They have come out  with some clever new flavourings....   

DO  YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?  

Read on to the end...gets very interesting!   

Both  have the same amount of calories.

Butter  is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8  grams; compared   to 5 grams for margarine.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53%  over  eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent  Harvard  Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in  other foods.


  has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and only  because  they are added!

Butter  tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of  other foods.

Butter  has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years .

And now, for Margarine.. 

Very High in Trans fatty acids.

Triples risk of coronary heart disease .... 

Increases  total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and  lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)

Increases  the risk of cancers up to five times..

Lowers  quality of breast milk.

Decreases immune response.

Decreases  insulin response.

And  here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT  IS  VERY INTERESTING! 

Margarine  is but ONE MOLECULE away  from being PLASTIC... and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT

These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life  and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is  added,  changing the molecular structure of the  substance).   

You  can try this yourself:

Purchase  a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded  area.  Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things:

*  no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it  (that should tell you something)

*  it does not rot or smell differently because it has  no nutritional value ; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny  microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.  Why?   Because it is nearly plastic .  Would you melt your Tupperware and  spread that  on your toast?  

Hmmm. makes you wonder.

Friday 11 June 2010


If you work for a charity get some charitable work done. During the working day you shouldn't be reading my blog.

Go out and rattle a tin.

My first Quango.

Natural England

Natural England

Here's just a few snippets  from their own annual report and accounts.

Natural England is predominantly financed by annual Grant-in-aid from the Department for Environment,
Food and Rural Affairs (Defra)

All very laudable you say. Yes it would be if they didn't have their pockets filled by you and me. Government theft without us having any say.

Just look at the figure below from the report April 2008 - March 2009. It's eye watering.

Natural England’s main source of funding is Grantin-aid (GIA) from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs. In 2008/09 Natural England’s grant-in-aid was £265,103,000, which made up 97% of its gross income. The other 3% was made up as
shown in the graph below. For a further breakdown of other income see notes to accounts 1 to 5.

What. Only 3% from other sources? I presume they are all voluntary contributions. It's certainly not clear in notes 1 to 5. It must come from all those tin shakers then. Although I've never seen one. maybe they are camouflaged as bushes, or hanging baskets, or some such?

And what the hell are they on about below?

Natural England has established a firm
commitment to Diversity and Equality helping all employees to work together to build an inclusive environment. Dave Webster, Executive Director
Corporate Services, is the Executive Diversity and Equality Champion for Natural England and is supported by diversity strand champions, a steering group and forty Diversity Ambassadors [employees who have stepped forward to help
embed diversity across our organisation].

What sort of non-job is a diversity strand champion or a Diversity Ambassador?

And would you believe That there's a member of their staff that works for 7 weeks in a year and earns  up to £15,000 for the privilege

*FE turns his fag packet over and scribbles a quick calculation*.

FFS, that's an equivalent annual salary of £ 111,428.

I would suggest the government should axe this quango. However they might need a combine harvester.

Go and read it for yourself, if you want to be further depressed.

Natural England Quango Accounts

Thursday 10 June 2010

Do these charities deserve their government funding? You tell me?


War on want

War on Want was created in 1951. For much of the 1980s it was run by the socialist firebrand George Galloway and was investigated by the Charities Commission for accounting irregularities.

Today, it remains firmly and openly anti-free trade, anti-capitalism and anti-Israel. It was part of the Make Poverty History campaign and was involved in the G20 demonstrations. Its campaign against world poverty requires the reconstruction of the world along socialist principles

Its 2008 accounts show a total income of £2,010,202. It received the following grants:

  • Department for International Development: £231,592
  • European Commission: £240,068
  • Isle of Man: £13,199
  • Total 484,859 (24.1% of all income)

It also received £69,995 from Ireland's Department of Foreign Affairs and £250,903 from Comic Relief.

Catholic Agency for Overseas Development

Took part in the anti-capitalist demonstrations against the G20 conference. Member of the Put People First coalition.

Its 2008 accounts show a total income of £47,914,000

  • UK government: £2,111,000
  • European Union: £997,000
  • Jersey government: £45,000
  • Guernsey government: £25,000
  • Isle of Man government: £27,000
  • United Nations agencies: £113,000
  • Total £3,318,000 (6.9% of all income)


Took part in the anti-capitalist demonstrations against the G20 conference. Member of the Put People First coalition.

Its latest accounts show a total income of £67,727,000

  • UK government: £5,967,000
  • European Union: £4,939,000
  • Jersey government: £190,000
  • Guernsey government: £80,000
  • Total £11,176,000 (16.5% of all income)

Academy of Medical Royal Colleges

Members of the Alcohol Health Alliance. (Tossers)

Its 2007/08 accounts show a total income of £4,706,653, of which:

  • The Revalidation Fund: £2,591,550
  • Medical Management Fund: £14,156
  • Health Inequalities Fund: £15,000
  • (All of these organisations are financed by the Department of Health)
  • --
  • Total: £2,620,706 (55.7% of all income)

The Prince's Foundation for Integrated Health

The Foundation "works with policy makers" to lobby for greater use of complementary medicine and homeopathy in the NHS and in schools. It funnels money towards organisations involved in reiki, naturopathy, aromatherapy, shiatsu and other pet projects of Prince Charles. (Quack science at it's worst).

Amongst its current activities, the Foundation is "advising the Department of Health". According to its latest accounts, the DoH funded the Foundation to the tune of £332,500 (27.5% of total income).


Complained about the "media feeding frenzy" surrounding 13 year old father Alfie Patten.

According to its website:

4Children offers authoritative advice and strategic support to help turn policy into practice working with government departments such as the Treasury, Department for Education and Skills and Department of Health.

In practice, this seems to largely involve them applauding government policies...

...and spending government money. Its 2007/08 accounts show a total income of £5,347,844, of which:

  • Department for Education & Skills: £1,100,00
  • Essex County Council: £588,785
  • The Home Office: £130,000
  • European Social Fund: £60,885
  • Future Builders England: £228,587
  • Essex Children's Centre: 270,000
  • ---
  • Total: £2,378,257 (44.5% of all income)

In addition, 4Children received substantial sums from individual county councils, including £351,518 in 'other contracts and grants'.

Only £8,704 was received in voluntary donations and gifts.

Well that's enough ranting about charities that sponge of the state. Maybe I'll see how many Quangos can be axed. After all that's where the big money is.

I certainly attracted a load of interest from quite a few charities today. I wonder why? Maybe a few of the Righteous worried about their jobs?

Wednesday 9 June 2010

A few more so called charities, that could have their government funding culled

British Trust for Conservation Volunteers (BTCV)

Relatively benign self-proclaimed 'eco-activists' with the usual climate change agenda.

More extraordinary is their jaw-dropping claim to be reliant on charitable donations:

As a charity, BTCV is almost entirely reliant on voluntary donations.

Its 2008 accounts show a total income of £28,616,000

  • Central government: £3,157,000
  • European monies: £1,077,000
  • Jobcentre Plus: £10,307,000
  • Total £14,541,000 (50.8% of all income)

The charity receives a further £1,208,000 from the lottery. It received just £910,000 (3.1%) in donations.

Forum for the Future

Founded by fanatical environmentalist Jonathan Porritt, the Forum for the Future provides a livelihood for unelectable Green Party candidates and retired lefties. Porritt earns £63,671 as its Programme Director and climate change alarmism features prominently with the inevitable demands for greater government interference:

Its 2006/07 accounts show a total income of £4,670,107, of which:

  • Central Government: £868,578
  • Local and regional government: £775,062
  • DEFRA: £109,976
  • The Climate Change Project (DEFRA): £241,878
  • Tower Hamlets: £42,683
  • EU: £23,904
  • --
  • Total £2,062,081 (44.2% of all income)

It received just £1,300 in donations from the public.

Global Action Plan UK

Although it claims not to be a lobbying group, Global Action Plan UK have campaigned for causes as diverse as a £1 billion "green stimulus package" and an opt-in system for phone book delivery.

The charity's 2008/09 accounts show a total income of £2,952,806, of which:

  • London Councils £43,623
  • Devon County Council: £85,869
  • London Borough of Haringey: £5,000
  • British Council, Beijing: £38,715
  • DEFRA: £76,838
  • Nottinghamshire Local Authorities: £30,328
  • City of London: £5,625
  • Housing Associations: £67,840
  • South West Regional Development Agency: £338,759
  • Exmoor National Parks Authority: £3,875
  • South West Tourism: £9,700
  • London Development Agency: £252,204
  • National Council for Voluntary Organisations: £22,250
  • London Borough of Harrow: £15,000
  • Local and National Government: £6,433

Total: £1,002,059 (33.9% of total income)

The Climate Group

The Climate Group says of itself:

"We act independently, with no political agenda or vested interests."

However, the charity's latest annual accounts show that it received £203,615 from "government" (10.2% of total income) plus £459,450 from HSBC.

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds

The RSPB is one of Britain's oldest and most respected charities. It used to exist on voluntary donations. Not any more.

The RSPB formed Stop Climate Chaos in September 2006 and were amongst the first environmental groups to call for a 80% reduction in UK carbon emissions by 2050.

In 2008, it received a staggering £19,731,000 in public money, including:

  • Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs: £2,618,000
  • Landfill Communities Fund: £1,560,000
  • Scottish Natural Heritage: £1,091,000
  • Natural England: £931,000
  • Scottish Executive: £664,000
  • National Assembly for Wales: £552,000
  • Countryside Council for Wales: £337,000
  • Environment Agency: £333,000
  • Department for International Development: £255,000
  • Department of Environment, Northern Ireland (NI): £249,000
  • East of England Development Agency: £219,000
  • Forestry Commission: £177,000
  • Department of Agriculture & Rural Development, NI: £38,000
  • European Union: £3,169,000
  • National Lottery: Heritage Lottery Fund: £2,247,000
  • Local councils & other: £5,291,000

The charity's total income was £103,904,000 and other major items include:

  • Membership subscriptions: £26,304,000
  • Legacies: £26,948,000
  • Appeals: £3,943,000
  • Investment income and interest: £1,531,000
  • Land and farming: £1,608,000
  • Events and media sales: £676,000

In addition, the RSPB acknowledges the support of 164 local groups (which are, presumably, mostly based on voluntary contributions). These raised a grand total of £319,000.

As such, the RSPB does raise a substantial percentage of its money from voluntary contributions; however, 19% of its income comes from the pockets of the taxpayer in involuntary contributions.

The Women's Environmental Network

Generic wimmin's group with added green credentials. It claims that "women are more vulnerable to the impacts of climate change". It conducts environmental and what it calls "environmenstrual" campaigns. Members of Stop Climate Chaos.

Its 2007/08 accounts show a total income of £170,976

  • The Department for Communities and Local Government: £19,419

  • London Borough of Tower Hamlets: £5,500

  • The National Lottery's Awards For All: £10,000

  • The Community Recycling and Economic Development Programme: £1,322


  • Total £36,241 (22% of all income)

It received a further £10,000 from Awards for All (the National Lottery).

(It fared even better in 2007, when it received £60,000 from the Department of the Environment, Food & Rural Affairs, as well as £87,786 from the London Boroughs and £17,544 from the Department for Communities and Local Government.)

The Woodland Trust

"We used to be members of this until we found out. The organisation regularly sends out to members vast volumes of expensively-printed puff which resembles the self-congratulatory output of a government department."

The Woodland Trust is a member of Stop Climate Chaos.

In 2007, it received £2,882,000 in public money, including:

  • Forestry Commission: £884,000
  • Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs: £51,000
  • Local authorities: £192,000
  • Environment and Heritage Service, NI: £114,000
  • Natural England: £67,000
  • Scottish Executive: £3,000
  • European Structural Funds: £63,000
  • Department for Communities & Local Government: £107,000
  • Countryside Council for Wales: £41,000
  • Rural Payments Agency: £29,000
  • EC Life Nature: £5,000

This represents 12.3% of its total income for 2007.

It received a further £1,383,000 (5.9%) from The Big Lottery Fund

The charity's total income was £23,380,000 and other major items include:

  • Membership subscriptions: £4,733,000
  • Legacies: £6,876,000
  • Fundraising & appeals: £4,936,000
  • Sponsorship income: £2,242,000
  • Company donations, Charitable Trusts and Landfill Tax: £2,521,000

As such, the Woodland Trust does raise a substantial percentage of its money from voluntary contributions; however, 18.2% of its income comes from tax and lottery money.

This really has to stop. If they want money to continue then they should go out and walk the streets rattling a tin. Don't expect me to pay though my tax for their profligate spending. When did you see tin rattlers for the RSPB in your high street?

Don't mess with the older generation.

Amazing what you can do with a handbag.

Scanners. Who needs them?

What a great idea. Why didn't anyone think of this???
The Russians are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with  full-body scanners at the airports.

They have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

They see this as a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this junk about racial profiling. This method would also eliminates the costs of a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift. Case Closed !

This is so simple...that it's brilliant.
I can see it now. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system,
"Attention standby passengers - we now have a seat available on flight number _____".

Happy landings ....

Dial 1, Dial 2, etc. You know the rest.

This how automated voice mail services should be.


H/T to The Grumpy old Twat

Where is he?

Anyone seen Gordon?

Tuesday 8 June 2010

Hi Dave. It's me again.

Just thought I'd give you a few more ideas where you can save some money.

Action on Smoking and Health (ASH)

All UK press, especially the BBC. ASH campaign continuously for escalating laws against smokers including tax rises, advertising bans and smoking bans.

  • Department of Health: £142,000
  • ---
  • Total £142,000 (19.1% of all income)

The remainder of its income comes from ASH International (part-funded by Pfizer), and supporting charities, principally Cancer Research UK and the British Heart Foundation.

It received just £4,975 in voluntary donations from the public, plus a £10,000 legacy.

ASH Scotland

Openly prohibitionist anti-smoking pressure group. Upon leaving office after 12 years, its Chief Executive Maureen Moore said

"As the Scottish Government work towards a smoking prevention strategy next spring, let’s see them state outright that they want Scotland to become a smoke-free society and they will provide all the necessary support, funding, and legislation to do so."

Of the £468,500 ASH received in grants and donations in 2006/07, £403,800 came from the Scottish Parliament. The remainder came from Health Scotland (which is part of NHS Scotland) and the British Heart Foundation (which receives £4m from the government).

In December 2009, ASH Scotland's revenue doubled when it received £500,000 from the Big Lottery fund.

ASH Wales

Member of the SmokeFree Alliance and respondent to the 2008 Tobacco Consultation. Led the battle for the Welsh smoking ban of 2006.

According to its 2008 accounts, ASH Wales received £113,000 from the Welsh government and £49,968 from the Pfizer Foundation (n.b. Pfizer manufactures Nicorette and Chantix which are both medications to help people to stop smoking).

Its total revenue as shown in its 2007/08 accounts was £247,306. Of which,

  • Welsh Assembly: £113,000
  • ---
  • Total £113,000 (45.7% of all income)

The remainder came from the Pfizer Foundation, the lottery, conference revenue and the British Heart Foundation. A mere £870 came from voluntary public donations.

No Smoking Day

No Smoking Day is a member of SmokeFree Action, which is campaigning for higher cigarette taxes, tobacco display bans, plain packaging of cigarettes and smoking bans in cars.

Its president is Duncan Bannatyne *, who wants the children of smokers to report their parents to the police (I'll only be happy if smoking is banned, The Guardian).

According to its 2007/08 accounts, No Smoking Day received an income of £745,804, of which:

  • Department of Health: £250,000
  • NHS Scotland: £25,000
  • Welsh Assembly: £30,000
  • Northern Ireland: £7,000
  • Armed forces: £17,793
  • Total £329,793 (44.2% of all income)

Most of the rest of its revenue came from the sale of No Smoking Day products. There is no record of any voluntary donations from the public.


QUIT was a member of the SmokeFree Coalition which campaigned for the UK government to ignore its manifesto commitment to exempt 'wet' pubs and private members' clubs from the 2007 smoking ban.

According to it 2007/08 accounts, QUIT had a total income of £2,054,477, of which:

  • European Union: £482,181
  • ---
  • Total £482,181 (23.5% of all income)

The majority of its income comes from 'services to help smokers to quit', presumably paid for by local and/or central government.

P.S. When can I get a turn at being Chancellor?

Best Regards,

The Filthy Engineer.

* Uber Tosser.

A Dilemma

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take
the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS...................

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered:

'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.
Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'


The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put
her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the bonnet of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

God, I just love happy endings!

Monday 7 June 2010

Dear Dave (again)

Here's a quango that can be axed.

Guess who?

World Cup 2010

Whether you're a dedicated football supporter, or someone who just succumbs to football fever every four years, you're bound to be glued to the TV for at least some of the World Cup.
If you're really keen, you could watch 64 matches in 31 days – that's 96 hours of football, without counting extra time or penalty shoot-outs!
Although it might feel like you're eating and drinking football, you'll need some real food and drink too. So check out our tips on how to make some healthier choices about what you’re going to eat and drink while you’re feasting on the footie.

Have you guessed who it is yet Dave?

If you're throwing a party for friends and family to watch a game, there are lots of tasty and healthy options you can tuck into as you cheer your team on. Why not serve a vegetable curry with boiled rice or a tasty chilli with plenty of kidney beans?
If it’s just nibbles, how about some tasty, healthier snacks, such as:

  • low-fat dips (less than 3g fat per 100g) with vegetable sticks, bread sticks or mini pitta breads for dipping
  • lower fat/salt crisps – compare labels so you can choose healthier varieties
  • some easy-to-eat fruits, such as apples and grapes
  • homemade plain popcorn – made in the pan from popping kernels

Starts with "F", Dave.

When you're engrossed in the game it's easy to sip your way though more than you realise. Remember that bottled beers come in different sizes, so you might be drinking more that you think.
Don’t feel pressured by those around you to drink more than you want to. Skip a round or opt for a soft drink – how about try a sparkling water with a slice of lemon or lime?

Guessed yet? Thought not.

Answer: FSA.

What do you mean you don't know what those initials stand for?

And yes your first guess was nearly right. You said: "F*cking stupid arseholes" . We said: "Food standards agency"

2/10 Could do better.

Dear Dave

This morning you were banging on about reducing the cost to the public purse. Just to help you out here is a small list I have cobbled together, that could have their funding reduced or preferably axed altogether. These are all so called "Charities". However my Idea of charity is that it should be funded by voluntary contributions. NOT funded from my donations to the Inland revenue.


Addaction is an addiction charity, focusing on alcohol and drugs

£652,286 from the Big Lottery Fund.

Alcohol Concern

Created by the British government in 1985, Alcohol Concern wages an incremental campaign against drinkers and the drinks industry.

Department of Health (unrestricted grant): £400,000

Department of Health (restricted grant): £142,190

Alcohol Concern also received £127,275 from the Big Lottery Fund.

Alcohol Focus Scotland

As a Scottish charity, its accounts are not available online. Experience in England shows that the general public are very reluctant to donate to the anti-alcohol cause, so we can be sure they receive a substantial portion of their £1,526,718 income from the state. 

Alliance House Foundation

The Alliance House Foundation is a well established temperance group and a member of the Alcohol Health Alliance

  • European Union's Bridging the Gap project: £41,138
  • European Union's Alcohol Policy Youth Network: £35,098

    Institute of Alcohol Studies

    The European Commission employed the Institute of Alcohol Studies to advise it on alcohol policy in 2003. When the report was released in 2006, the term "passive drinking" was born. Its current activities are centred around raising the price of alcohol. It is a member of the Alcohol Health Alliance.

    They receive most of their funding (£391,995) from the Alliance House Foundation, a temperance group which states its aim as being "to spread the principles of total abstinence from alcoholic drinks".

    Its 2007/08 accounts show a total income of £430,019

    In 2006/07 it received £38,228 from the European Commission (£38,228).

    It receives no voluntary donations from the public.

    The Media Trust

    The Media Trust exists to help charities raise their profile and "strengthen the impact, reach and effectiveness of our work." Their website is heavy on jargon and they are behind a digital TV channel that no one watches (The Community Channel).

      • Office of the Third Sector: £1,950,090
      • Department of Culture, Media and Sport: £333,000
      • ICT Hub: £42,553
      • Capacity builders: £197,405
      • Department for Children, Schools and Families: £314,744
      • Arts Council: £50,000


      • Total £2,887,792 (60% of total income)

    The National Council for Voluntary Organisations

    Amongst its projects is Only Connect, a scheme that subsidises charity employees to meet up with other charities:

    (Leftist jargon and waffle dominates the charity's website:)

      • Capacity Builders: £5,400,000
      • Future Builders: £141,000
      • Office of the Third Sector: £1,317,000
      • Sector Skills Development Agency: £60,000
      • Home Office: £110,000
      • Total £7,028,000 (52.5% of all income from donations)

      In addition, it receives £595,000 from the Big Lottery Fund and various other grants that are probably state-funded at source.

    British NGOs for Development

    Took part in the anti-capitalist demonstrations against the G20 conference. Member of the Put People First coalition.

    • Department of International Development: £184,000
    • European Union: £26,485
    • Total £210,485 (17.2% of all income)

    It received a further £170,790 from the Big Lottery Fund.

    Campaign for Better Transport Charitable Trust

    Most of its campaigns focus on climate change and it is a member of Stop Climate Chaos. Its climate change campaign is led by the fanatical anti-motoring activist Rebecca Lush.

    The government may be inclined to listen to this lobby group since it is the government that funds it. According to its latest accounts, the largest donor to the Campaign for Better Transport—with £272,266—is National Business Travel Network (NBTN). NBTN is "a Department for Transport initiative and part of the government's ACT on CO2 campaign".

    Not only does the Campaign for Better Transport receive 40% of its funding from NBTN, it also runs NBTN on the Department for Transport's behalf. It also runs Tomorrow's England, which donated £66,311 to the Campaign for Better Transport in 2008.

    Most of the rest of its funding comes from bus and train companies (see here).

    Its 2007/08 accounts show a total income of £603,657

    • NBTN (Department for Transport): £272,266
    • Tomorrow's England: £65,311
    • Small grants conduit: £30,095
    • London: £79,633

    Shamelessly lifted from Fake Charities

    Do it Dave. DO IT.

    (And that is just the tip of the iceberg)


    Just had one of those E mails from call me Dave again. Anyway I replied with this post.

    Sunday 6 June 2010

    The third world.

    Yesterday I wrote a post indicating that Kent had joined the third world after my water supply was disrupted.

    In fact for those who think they're in poverty in this country then they should think again.

    Just take this comparison between the UK and Angola, where I had reason to be posted on a peacekeeping mission.


    Within hours the water company had supplied 20,000 litres of clean bottled water.


    One Barrio's water supply was one stand pipe for 3000 people.


    Quite a few potholes ending up with a few damaged vehicles.


    20,000,000 landmines. Plenty of damaged vehicles and an awfull lot of amputees.


    Median wage. £2,200 per month.


    Monthly 8,000,000 Kwanzas. Approximately equal to $2.5.


    Strict gun possession laws.


    An AK47 with a 30 round magazine cost $1. (Obtained from the local police station). Incidentally, anti tank mines cost $5.


    Airport security. Rigorous. (yes we have an airport. Manston).


    Mugging is rife at the airport. Usually by the police. ( I was escorted through by the charge de affaires. phew).


    Kids that have no manners and think that the world is there to support them.


    Kids that have a zest for life and learning.

    All in all, that deployment was enlightening and well worth it. I left with a great sense of personal achievement.

    Whilst I was helping the Royal Engineers, between us we managed to get the southern town Of Lobito's water treatment works operational for the first time in twenty years. It filled me with pride to be made an honorary member of 20 squadron, Royal Engineers, and also very humble. They are true, dedicated, professionals.

    As are all the members of her Majesties armed forces.

    Saturday 5 June 2010

    I have water

    The water is now back on at Filthy Engineer mansion. I must give credit where it's due. The water company kept us updated as to the situation on it's website, hourly. By mid afternoon they had trucked in 20,000 litres of bottled water, of which I have 48 of those litres. Usefull for the summer if we get one.

    It just shows that private enterprise works best. Can you imagine if it had still been government run?

    The third world



    Kent has just joined the third world. The water main that supplies my area has broken. No water all day and the temperature has touched 30 deg C.

    Oh well. I'll have to drink beer instead. It's a hard life.

    Friday 4 June 2010

    Sexy thoughts?

    Nope. Not as far as the female of the species are concerned.

    A current online survey by poll site Queendom shows that men are actually thinking about pleasing their partners, while women think about nothing at all.

    or unbelievably

    And, according to one poll earlier this month by Retrevo, a shopping and review site, 10 per cent of under-25s think it's OK to send a text message during sex.

    Obviously the world is moving differently for the young these days. Ho Hum.

    Thursday 3 June 2010

    Gone green and bought a Prius


    Well, just accept that your electric pious machine will be only worth 10% of it's original value in just 5 years.

    Did you think that your batteries would last for ever?

    No? Oh dear, you are a sucker.

    The average life of those batteries is just 5 years and will cost £8,000 to replace.

    And I hope the reader of the twat (Prius of course) on the motorway, that insisted in only doing 65 in the outside lane and refused to let me past, isn't reading this.

    Wednesday 2 June 2010

    Don't open that bottle.



    I've just been reading an article in the Telegraph. I really shouldn't have as it's just sent my Blood pressure to Alpha centauri.

    All patients are to be routinely questioned by their doctors about their alcohol consumption under new Government plans to tackle the country's problem drinking culture.

    This is from those fuckwits at Nice sticking their noses in.

    In the new Nice guidelines, GPs are being advised to ask 10 "alcohol screening" questions - including how much and how frequently they drink - of patients.

    My GP can ask all he want. However he will be politely told to mind his own business.

    Nice to see one group has some concern for the patient.

    Joyce Robins, co-founder of campaign group Patient Concern, said: "GPs seem to have to ask so many things that there is none left for what you went in about.

    But then again we have this twat rearing his head again.

    Prof Ian Gilmore, President of the Royal College of Physicians, welcomed the guidance and screening, and said that traditionally doctors' have been 'woeful' at asking patients about their alcohol consumption.

    "We have a long way to go to get to a point where people get fed up with being asked."

    He added that he saw the evidence of the problem on his wards every day.

    "There are a lot of middle age and old age people who are opening a bottle of wine a night and are not managing to get the cork back in again."

    Mind you that's all right then, as my whisky bottle hasn't got a cork.

    And I thought a new government would leave us alone. Shows how wrong you can be.

    Oz v NZ

    What to do when you need another bank holiday.

    Tuesday 1 June 2010



    For all of you out there in the UK and across the globe who have fought so hard to tackle the hideous enemy of our planet, namely carbon emissions, that bogus god you worship named "Climate Change" or "Global Warming",  there is some really bad news that will be very painful for you to process. But it is my duty to pass it on to you anyway.

    Are you sitting down?

    Okay, here's the bombshell. The current volcanic eruption going on in Iceland, in it's first week of spewing volcanic ash, NEGATED EVERY SINGLE EFFORT you have made in the past five years to control CO2 emissions on our planet.  Not only that, this single act of God, in its first week, has added emissions to the earth estimated to be 42 times more than can be corrected by the extreme human regulations proposed for annual reductions.

    I know, I know.... (have a group hug)'s very disheartening to realize that all of the carbon emission savings you have accomplished while suffering the inconvenience and expense of driving Pius hybrids, buying fabric grocery bags, sitting up till midnight to finish your kid's "The Green Revolution" science project, throwing out all of your non-green cleaning supplies, using only two squares of toilet paper, putting a brick in your toilet tank reservoir, selling your 4 x 4 and speedboat, going on vacation to a Bournemouth instead of Barbados, nearly getting hit every day on your bicycle, replacing all of your 50p light bulbs with £5 light bulbs ...well, all of those things you have done have all gone down the tubes in just the first week.

    The volcanic ash emitted into the Earth's atmosphere in the first week has totally erased every single effort you have made to reduce the evil beast, carbon.  And, those hundreds of thousands of British jobs you helped move to  Asia with expensive emissions demands on businesses... you know, the ones that are creating even more emissions than when they were creating British jobs, well that must seem really worthwhile now.

    I'm so sorry. And I do wish that there was some kind of a silver lining to this volcanic ash cloud but the fact of the matter is that the brush fire season across the western U.S.A. will start in about two months and those fires will negate your efforts to reduce carbon emissions in our world for the next two years.

    So, grab a Coke, give the world a hug, and have nice day!


    Speed holes?

    Speed controls being used in Eastern Canada

    How's this for excellent speed control? 

    I don't know about you, but this would slow me down! People slow down and try to "straddle" the hole .....

    This is actually a speed control device that is in use. It is much cheaper than speed cameras. 

    Pretty clever - especially when moved around each day. Isn't art wonderful?