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Monday 14 January 2013


You’ll notice in the title that there’s only one ring. Not the usual two, as in Here and Here.

OMG. The front door bell has been operated!

Of course the time was about 11 O’clock this morning and yours truly was not expecting callers. The dustmen had been. Of course it might be a snatch squad from the council that have found that the bin contained radioactive waste (A defunct smoke alarm)( Ok it was in the green bin). Or it could have been the post girl arriving early with an unexpected parcel (unlikely).

Your host of this blog warily heads to the front door and sees through the frosted pane, two dark figures silhouetted.

After unlocking three locks, removing three chains, and four bolts your host gingerly peered out.

And what did I see?

Two women dressed for the cold and pushing buggies with semi comatose infants.

Just as I was about to cry, “Bugger off you begging Chavs, Jehovah’s witnesses, solar panel harpies, or wind turbine transvestites”. I realised the truth. Just in time. Only just*.

It was my daughters and their kids. They’d just been up to the local shop and thought they’d call in on their Dad. Thank God for my lightening reactions.

I think I’ll invest in CCTV.

 * This post would not haven been written as I expect that I would be residing in land fill by now.