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Thursday 5 February 2009

Makes me see red

Just a quickee.

Why do all those ranting nulabour websites seem to think that they have to have everything in bright red?

Smoking on HM ships

I've just read about another NHS trust about to ban smoking in their grounds. (our grounds)

I just thought you might like to hear what the regulations in my outfit are. If you bear in mind that that I spend nearly eight months of the year on one of our grey painted ships, you would think that the rules had some sense. you would be wrong.

The first restriction was no smoking in the bar if we were having a casual pub lunch. (Now renamed officers casual meal to appease the Alcohol police).

After a short period it became no smoking at all in the bar.

Of course at this time I was allowed to smoke in my cabin, so I could always nip in there for a puff. Considering it is my primary residence throught the year you would think this would be left as it was.

Oh no, think of the poor steward who has to clean my cabin. You can see where I'm going now.

The long and short of it is that now I have to go down four decks, 200 metres aft (backend of the ship, for those not of a nautical persuasion), then down one deck, further aft. Finally I have reached the designated smoking area.

I now find myself on a cold, barely lit deck, maybe with a force ten gale in progress with the ship doing the most unspeakable movements.

The one heartening thing is that all those smokers, of what ever rank, are by far and the best, you will meet.

This is where in the not too distant future, the H & S brigade will have to come to terms with a death on their hands, when some poor sod in atrocious weather falls and breaks their neck.

I hope they get crucified in the courts.

just as an aside, Alcohol is next.

Lord of the dance

Dedicated to my son Chris

well it made me laugh

H/T to Guthrum


Just a snippet of interest

Other meanings and In Popular Culture

* "Golliwog" was World War II British naval slang for a Gauloise cigarette, which had tobacco that was nearly black in colour.

* The American rock group Creedence Clearwater Revival was known as "The Golliwogs" and under this name they released a number of singles on the Fantasy label before they rose to prominence. Golliwog is also a Slovenian punkrock/hardcore band.

* In unofficial military parlance of some countries which has become less common nowadays, the term "golliwog" was used to indicate a piece of equipment that has been tuned, upgraded, and possibly customised to the point where it is no longer similar to the stock item it started as. The term stems from the fact that although the Golliwog itself was black – its standard form was featureless in a sense – it was always represented as decorated smartly with, for example, ribbons and bows. It could be said to be found always dressed up in finery; no Golliwog was ever seen dressed conservatively.

* The sixth movement of Claude Debussy's Children's Corner is titled "Golliwogg's Cakewalk", inspired by the American dance.

* Golliwog is the former name of a popular line of cocoa biscuits in Australia. First released in the 1960s, they were renamed by manufacturer Arnott's in the mid-1990s and are now sold under the name of "Scalliwag".

* Golliwog is a solo-single by ABBA member Agnetha Fältskog from 1974.

* "I Feel Like A Wog" is a song by The Stranglers from their 1977 album "No More Heroes".

* Contortion; In a rag doll or golliwog act, one or two assistants bend, shake and carry the contortionist in such a way as to convince the audience that the disguised performer is actually a limp, life-sized doll. The act usually ends by stuffing the doll into a small box, after which the performer gets out and takes off the costume.

* Golliwogg is featured in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as the pilot of an interdimensional ship, along with the Dutch dolls. Golliwogg is said to be a creature made of dark matter in the book.