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Wednesday 8 June 2011

That’s My WiFi done for then

An extraordinary solar flare - the biggest seen in five years - could interfere with satellite communications and power grids on Earth over the next couple of days, experts have warned.

The effects of the storm are predicted to be moderate and could be felt from around 6pm tonight, lasting for 12 - 24 hours.


Just another public service broadcast.

The Demon drink

Many have found themselves stumbling home late at night, a little worse for wear and unable to hail a taxi. Well the man in this little little video takes the Biscuit.

See the evils of the demon drink demonstrated above. Now in the interests of the “Big Society” (Or some such rot), stop, and stop NOW. You have been warned. I haven’t had a drink since……….Let me think? I remember now. Last night.

A public service broadcast delivered to you free from The Government Department of Filthy Engineers.

*And before you shout at me. No. I don’t read the Sun*

Bring back any memories?

Someone  asked the other day, 'What was your favourite  'fast food' when you were growing  up?'
'We  didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I  informed him.
'All  the food was slow.'
'C'mon, seriously..  Where did you eat?'
'It  was a place called 'home,'' I explained.  
'Mum  cooked every day and when Dad got home from  work, we sat down together at the dining room  table, and if I didn't like what she put on my  plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did  like it.'

By  this time, the lad was laughing so hard I was  afraid he was going to suffer serious internal  damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how  I had to have permission to leave the  table.

But  here are some other things I would have told him  about my childhood if I'd figured his system  could have handled it:

Some  parents NEVER owned their own house, wore jeans,  set foot on a golf course, travelled out of the  country or had a credit  card.

My  parents never drove me to school. I had a  bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and  only had one speed,  (slow).

We  didn't have a television in our house until I  was 7.
It was, of course, black and white,  and the station went off the air at 10 pm, after  playing the national anthem and epilogue; it  came back on the air at about 6 p.m.

I  never had a telephone in my room. The only phone  was on a party line. Before you could dial, you  had to listen and make sure some people you  didn't know weren't already using the  line.

Pizzas  were not delivered to our home... But milk  was.

All  newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys  delivered newspapers.

Film  stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least,  they did in the films. There were no movie  ratings because all movies were responsibly  produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without  profanity or violence or almost anything  offensive.

If  you grew up in a generation before there was  fast food, you may want to share some of these  memories with your children or grandchildren.  Just don't blame me if they burst their sides laughing.  
Growing  up isn't what it used to be, is  it?

MEMORIES  from a friend:
My  Dad is cleaning out my grandmother' s house (she  died in December) and he brought me  an old Royal Crown Cola bottle.   In  the bottle top was a stopper with a load of  holes in it...    I knew  immediately what it was, but my daughter had no  idea.   She thought they had tried to  make it a salt shaker or something.    I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of  the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with  because we didn't have steam irons.    Man, I am old.

How  many do you remember?
Headlight  dip-switches on the floor of the  car.
Ignition  switches on the  dashboard.
Trouser  leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.  
Soldering  irons you heated on a gas burner.
Using  hand signals for cars without turn indicators.  (I failed my first driving test on that one)
No central heating.

Older  Than Dirt Quiz:
Count  all the ones that you remember, not the ones you  were told about.
Ratings  at the bottom.

1. Sweet  cigarettes
2.  Coffee shops with juke   boxes
3. Home milk  delivery in glass bottles
4.  Party lines on the  telephone
5. Newsreels before  the movie
6.  TV test patterns that came on at night after the  last show and were there until TV shows started  again in the afternoon (There were only 2  channels [if you were  fortunate])
7.  Peashooters  
8. 33 rpm  records
9.  45 RPM records
10.78  RPM records
11.  Hi-fi's
12. Metal ice trays with  levers
13.  Blue flashbulb
14.  Cork popguns
15.  Wash  tub wringers

If  you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young
If  you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
If  you remembered 7-11 = Don't tell your age
If  you remembered 12-15 = You're positively  ancient!

I  must be 'positively ancient' but those memories  are some of the best parts of my  life.