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Thursday 9 June 2011

I must wash my mouth out with soap and water

I watched question time tonight.

In all of the debates whether it be international aid, children’s dress, or the conflict in Libya, Eight times  we were exhorted to think of the cheeeldren.

Not once were we supposed to think of the grownups.

Is this discrimination against you and me?

If any children are reading this blog, then bugger off and go and buy your own padded bras with your own money. Which of course you don’t have.

Think of the cheeeeldren. Lightly grilled would be to my taste.


THE number of people paying hush money to their wheelie bins has increased by 60 percent in the last 12 months, it emerged last night.

We've all been there

With more councils installing artificially intelligent bins, people with something to hide say the cost of being blackmailed could force them to give up at least one of their sordid and disturbing obsessions.

Ian, a 32 year-old from Stevenage, said: "It started last September. I dropped a bag of rubbish into the bin and turned to walk away when I heard someone say the word 'pervert'.
"I looked up and down the street, but there was no-one there so I started to walk off, but then I heard the same voice again saying 'yeah, you... pervert'.
"I then realised it was coming from the direction of the bin. As I leaned in, the bin suddenly started chuckling and said 'I know what you've been up to, with your washing up gloves and your ketchup and your over-ripe melons'.
"It then explained that £50 a week should cover it and gave me its sort code and account number so I could set up a direct debit."
He added: "At first I was very resentful and would get up in the middle of the night, heave it into the back of my car and drive it to an old quarry or leave it in the middle of a field, but it always managed to find its way home by morning. And of course when you try and pull that sort of shit with a corrupt wheelie bin, it's only going to cost you more money."
He added: "Eventually you just have to accept the situation and factor it in to the overall cost of your shameful but irresistible perversions."

The Local Government Association insists most wheelie bins are not programmed for blackmail and will usually recommend counselling, medication or a hefty dose of church.

Meanwhile Britain's serial killers have launched a petition demanding stupider bins unable to piece together the eclectic mix of clues contained in the refuse bag of a typical maniac. Roy Hobbs, from Doncaster, said: "Most weeks I'll throw away 28 Alphabetti Spaghetti tins, a dozen empty bleach bottles, three bags of feet and a copy of the Daily Mail which I've covered in yellow highlighter and exclamation marks.
"I know I should probably stop reading it. But I can't."

Climate sceptic, Me?

I am a sceptic of Anthropogenic Global warming, Human made climate change, and all the rest of the crap the Greenie leftists throw at us. I was pointed to a site some months ago that is populated by the usual frothing at the mouth, rabid Gaia worshipers . President, George Monbiot. Honorary Vice president, Caroline Lucas (Spit). The site is grandly titled “Campaign against Climate Change” (CCC), (spits again).

To cut along story short I subscribed to their mailing list. It really is pitiful. It doesn’t ever mention this blog. It hurts me deeply. After all I even E mailed them with links to here and here.

It would seem that they are going to have rallies in July all to be of a “submergence” theme. (That’s their title. I didn’t make it up).

More amusing though, is a photo-op involving people standing semi-submerged in water – holding a banner saying “Zero Carbon Britain before we drown”. One of the venues is “Here in London we are hoping to do this at an appropriate place in the River Thames. “

thames map edited 450

Well they wouldn’t be able to do that at high tide otherwise they’d drown(Mmmm), so they’ll have to do that at low tide. Have you seen the Thames at low tide? Well I assure you, dear readers, that they’d better come prepared with industrial strength washing materials, as they will be wallowing up to their waists in a sea of mud.



       Saturday 16th July

         is Zero Carbon Brain Day, a day
                to promote the goal of a
          'Zero Carbon Britain' by 2030

              When:  7.30 pm to  midnight
              Where: on the Thames,
Central London

I think I might just nip up to thee big smoke that day with my camera.

P.S. They have a forum at their site. Last post was 26 weeks ago.

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