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Thursday 18 August 2011

I’m off

On Holiday.

Tomorrow Seven of us get up at the crack of dawn and head off to sunnier climes.

I’ve successfully checked in on line and the boarding passes have now been printed.

Packed. Not yet.

Still got to try and round up the cats and get them to the cattery. May have to stop at the chemist and buy some bandages on the way back.


The Villa



The outdoor bar and Barbecue area.



The Lounge



The Pool (Totty not included)



It’s going to be hell. Wish me luck.

Wednesday 17 August 2011

It’s going to get Ugly.

Sometimes,  stories just write themselves.  This is one of those times.

Priscilla Agosto has made some rather serious allegations regarding sexual harassment regarding  her former employer.  However, the employer, People’s Choice Reality, has mounted, shall we say, a rather politically  incorrect  defense…

A 23-year-old lesbian says the Brooklyn real estate office she once worked in is a den of deviants where raunchy sexcapades were the norm.

But the bosses she’s suing say she’s too ugly to harass.

Priscilla Agosto ran a gauntlet of sexual humilition – verbal and physical – in her 14 miserable months at People’s Choice Realty, her suit against its three bosses says.

No less than seven male employees made lewd advances at her – even after she complained to the bosses, she said in papers filed in Brooklyn Supreme Court.

Her male co-workers exposed themselves, rubbed up against her and even asked for oral sex, she alleges.

And they even offered $500 to watch her have sex with her girlfriend, she said.

“I hope and pray that by sharing my story, anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation will have the courage to speak up,” said Agosto.

Odelia Berlianshik, the owner of the Williamsburg firm, denied the charges – and launched a shocking attack on Agosto’s appearance.

“Who would touch her? She’s an ugly girl anyway,” she said of the former secretary. “She made up a story because she didn’t want to work.”

Agosto’s lawyer Brendan Chao said another former employee corroborated much of his client’s account.

So, this leads to a rather interesting confrontation-the accuser, who is female, vs. the business owner, who is also female.  Whose side might the feminazis take?  If they side against the accuser, they give up on victim status against the evil humans with a penis patriarchy.  However, if they go after the business owner, aren’t they attacking a fellow woman who has climbed the ladder, breached the glass ceiling, and fought off the evil humans with a penis patriarchy?

Who knows?  But it would be fun to watch.

Tuesday 16 August 2011

Tuesday Tomfoolery

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.  When I
quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.  As I was
standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3
hours later and they're still walking about with it.  I thought to myself,
they've lost the plot!!

I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could
check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was
refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.  A spokesman for the
channel said. "A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand
the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do."

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our
local pet shop and they were £70!!!  B******s to this, I thought, I can
get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Went around to a friend's house today. His wife was sat there with their
new-born baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it.  I thought that was a bit
harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead.

I start a new job in Seoul next week.  I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was
sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.  I thought to myself
'that guy's heading for a breakdown.'

On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking
Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our

Monday 15 August 2011

Global Facts About Sex

At Any Given Moment:

FACT #1:

79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now!

FACT #2:

58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT #3:

37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

FACT #4:

One, lonely, elderly person is reading Blog posts.

The Olympic Torch 2012

olympic torch

Sunday 14 August 2011

London Olympics

A new sport from the one and only Max Farquar

Antipodean Fun


These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-li-a is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum Trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Saturday 13 August 2011

Well Done Mr Plod.

One of Britain’s finest undoes any respect for the Police gained after the looting and rioting. Why throw your weight around and alienate the public, when more than ever you need to bring the public onside?

In the past a good copper would have used the power of persuasion, complete with a smile  to get the result he desired. The man complaining hadn’t actually committed an offence as far as I could perceive, other than filming the police and moving around.

Has it really come to the position that we are stopped because we might be thinking of committing an offence?

Why do they do it?



Our father, who art in prison,
Even my mum knows not his name,
Thy Chavdom come, 
Thy will be done in Manchester
As it is in London,
Give us this day our welfare bread,
And forgive us our ASBOs,
As we happy slap those who give evidence against us.
And lead us not to employment,
But deliver us free housing,
For thine is the Chavdom,
The Burberry & the Bacardi,
Forever and ever.


Friday 12 August 2011

This looting made me laugh.

They had seen the images from London and Birmingham and wanted to bring a bit of rioting and looting to their own little corner of a West’s market town.

With their hoods up and with bricks in hand, they had arranged to meet on Facebook and selected their target – the Tesco Express store in the centre of Calne, Wiltshire.

Looks good so far.

But things didn’t really go according to plan for the Calne Five, who hadn’t exactly done their homework before setting off for a night of rioting, mayhem and looting.

For a start, they perhaps failed to realise that the looters of London were smashing shop windows because shops were closed so they could get inside to steal their goods.

It gets funnier by the minute

But if the shop is still open, like the Tesco Express in Calne was at the time on Tuesday night, they could easily have simply walked in through the open door.

But, with the two frightened staff inside quickly calling the police, the five set about trying to smash the huge pane of thickened glass that makes up much of the shopfront with their bricks and sticks.

It cracked, but did not shatter. In the end, with the door to the shop opening and closing just feet away as bemused customers came and went, the five ran off as the police arrived.

The full story is here.

I think I’ve wet myself.

Gotta nother quid Gov?

Yesterday I posted about an 89 year old man, called Aaron who had his barber shop destroyed by the looters.

It would seem that he’s not the only one who’s livelihood has been destroyed.

So if you feel you can donate a smidgeon more please pop over HERE.


Not a pretty sight is it?

Thursday 11 August 2011

OMG. Looters


Waitin my turn






Downing Loot



Left foot – Red



What’s that Sooty?



My little looter



Miao Miao






Dirty Harry



Tena man



Hope you enjoyed this foolery.

A public service broadcast by the Filthy engineer

Keep Aaron cutting



Nip over HERE and donate a pound to help an old man rebuild his barber shop that was looted during the Riots.

London Olympics 2012?

2012 logo

Wednesday 10 August 2011


Though I prefer whisky

operation Tea cup


 Operation Cup Of Tea

Criminal justice system has failed.

Am I the only one that thinks that the criminal justice system has allowed these riots to happen?

In my dim and distant past, sentencing fit the crime.

There were no ASBOs', no “community sentencing”, and no “the poor man has come from a deprived neighbourhood”.

The law was absolute with no excuses.

In the eighties and nineties we saw a gradual change from natural justice to a view that the perpetrators of crime were just victims of their circumstances.  Ie  if you didn’t bother to learn anything at school , and hence were unemployable, then it was for some reason or other, not your fault.

What we saw was a change in the sentencing system that judged that those from sink estates were considered to be victims of an unjust society and had to be protected as it was not their fault that they had transgressed.

What we need to see is a profound sea change in the sentencing of those who transgress the laws of the land. Sentencing that fits the crime.

No more £80 fine for shoplifting. Six months for a first offence, rising to five years for the second.

Burglary, Six months for the first offence, ten years for the second.

let’s have no excuses that the prisons are full. Simple. Build more prisons..

The Feral of Manchester say it all on the clip below

I'll keep looting 'til I get caught'

Tuesday 9 August 2011

Rioting fail

Apparently we had rioting in Kent as well last night according to BBC (Spits) South East, thirteen people were arrested.As reported by thisiskent

The first distrubance (Their spelling mistake, not mine) of the night happened yesterday at around 8.30pm in Hope Street, Gillingham, and saw confrontations between youths and the police.

Crews from Kent Fire and Rescue Service were called to a car fire in New Street, Chatham, at 12.56am, followed by another vehicle on fire in the Wickes car park in Maidstone Road at 1.07am and a third car alight in the Chatham Tesco multi-storey car park at Eldon Street at 1.29am.

Almost an hour later, at 2.20am, crews dealt with a small rubbish fire in a shelter on Rainham High Street before tackling a number of bin fires in Gillingham High Street at 2.34am. Officers also dealt with numerous incidents of criminal damage to cars in the area.

Well done Kent Police in tackling the 15,000  15 rioters.

Incidents of vandalism were reported in Chatham, Rainham and Gillingham overnight after a group of around 15 young men, understood to have travelled to the area by train, set several fires across the towns.

Seems that Kent can’t even home grow their own Mob. Shame on you, the underclass, in Kent.

Am I being to harsh on the Scumbags of Kent, or should it be Kentish Scumbags?

The Metropolitan police need your help.


If you think they are deserving of help in finding the looters of London, then you might like to visit this website

Catch a Looter

Bearing in mind there could be the odd innocent shopper amongst the pics.

Good Woman

No words from me needed

Monday 8 August 2011

Beware. You maybe riot too much.

I see that there are now copycat riots starting in Birmingham now. As I suspected, it is, for the majority of the country’s underclass, just an excuse for a lootfest .

Attackers smashed shop windows and stole property in Birmingham, north of London, police said on Monday, the first sign that riots that have gripped London in recent days have spread beyond Britain's capital.

"Several premises in the centre have been attacked with some shop windows smashed and property stolen in various locations," West Midlands police said in a statement.

What worries me is that some clown in Government may decide that the time is rife to enact the civil contingencies act.

f)prohibit, or enable the prohibition of, assemblies of specified kinds, at specified places or at specified times;

(g)prohibit, or enable the prohibition of, travel at specified times;

(h)prohibit, or enable the prohibition of, other specified activities;

(i)create an offence of—

(i)failing to comply with a provision of the regulations;

ii)failing to comply with a direction or order given or made under the regulations;(iii)obstructing a person in the performance of a function under or by virtue of the regulations;

(j)disapply or modify an enactment or a provision made under or by virtue of an enactment;

(k)require a person or body to act in performance of a function (whether the function is conferred by the regulations or otherwise and whether or not the regulations also make provision for remuneration or compensation);

(l)enable the Defence Council to authorise the deployment of Her Majesty’s armed forces;

(m)make provision (which may include conferring powers in relation to property) for facilitating any deployment of Her Majesty’s armed forces;

These riots give our politico’s carte blanche to use this pernicious law to stamp down on freedom of expression, and hence allowing total control of the population. Stalin would be proud.

I’m sure they are itching to use the act. Solves the problem of us the great unwashed getting uppity.

UPDATE. Video footage.

All aboard the EU Gravy train.

I’m a bit late with this but at least I will have my rant about it.

A SENIOR aide to David Cameron says the Prime Minister has ruled out a referendum on EU membership because Britain delivered a “very clear result” on the issue 36 years ago.

In an extraordinary letter described last night as “ridiculous and insulting”, Laurence Mann, Mr Cameron’s political private secretary, said the British people did not want another in or out vote because it would be “artificial and simplistic”.

Instead, he said Britons should be grateful for the EU’s “useful work” on global warming and global poverty and stand by a decision made almost two generations ago on the far less federal body known as the Common Market.

No, you stupid Fuckwit we didn’t vote for this at all. We voted for a Common market.

*As an ex lifelong Conservative voter of 62  I say, in that case, we need Mr. Cameron and his government OUT as soon as possible.

He has astonishing temerity, and demonstrates extraordinarily irrational thinking for someone trusted to run the country, when he asserts that the decision was made - irrevocably - 36 years ago when we joined a mere cartel of nations in a TRADING AGREEMENT. (We did not then - or ever - agree to join a federal European State or turn over control of our sovereignty and internal affairs to the French or Germans.) What other decisions made 4 decades ago are sacrosanct and not open to review in drastically changed circumstances, Mr. Cameron ?

What is the hidden agenda in EU membership for politicians of both major parties ignoring the will of the people and their desire to have a say in their own destiny. What are they AFRAID of in the result of a referendum.

I have said before that it is ABSURD that just  650 MPs - a mere 0.0009% of the UK population with no track record of any great wisdom and even less in relevant qualifications or experience - should be allowed to take the EU decision on behalf of 70 million people affected, the majority of whom are well known to be opposed to continued costly and autocratic EU membership.
We need to elect a government that will honour the desire of the PEOPLE to participate in decisions on this major issue. We elected a government in May 2010, not a dictatorship; we had enough of that with the other lot.
It's going to have to be UKIP I'm afraid.

* I borrowed this part from the comments on the article as it sums up my feelings to a tee.

They’re thinking of the Children

Sunday 7 August 2011

Riots spreading

It looks like the rioting is spreading.

A POLICE car has been attacked in Enfield Town amid clashes between rioters and police.

The vehicle in Church Street was pelted with bricks, while police have confirmed that two shops were targeted by gangs of people with hoods and scarves covering their face.

So that’s Tottenham, Wood Green, and now Enfield.

I’m disappointed. Could they not aim higher and decamp to Westminster?


A bloke was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up, ''I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales .''
''Why do you think that?'' he asked.
''Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says, 'stit ruoy su wohs'.''

Economical Brits

A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a

Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of
alcohol a year.

That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?

Saturday 6 August 2011


just seen a new phone. Should I get it?







phone scan

What do you think?

Friday 5 August 2011

Operation Taurus

This was my last ship before retiring. It certainly was a memorable trip. The Video below only gives the last half of the deployment, the first half where all the real hard work was done is not shown. You will notice in the video that an Arleigh Burke destroyer crops up from time to time. This was because there was no area defence destroyer from our Navy, available at the time. So we borrowed an American one for the duration.

The Wave Ruler was one of the newest additions to the RFA (Royal Fleet  Auxiliary), and was state of the art when it came to machinery. Even the accommodation was of a high standard, all cabins being single berth with en-suite.

Propulsion was Diesel electric with four 4.7 Mw diesel generators with an output voltage of 6.6kV driving two Motors attached to the shaft. Manoeuvrability was enhanced by bow and stern lateral thrusters all controlled by a semi dynamic positioning system. (Cool Eh).

State of the art reverse osmosis plants were fitted for the production of potable water (my babies), capable of producing nearly 200,000 litres per day.

Anyway enough of the nuts and bolts. Lets get down and personal.

My trip started with a flight to Crete to join the Ruler for the trip out to the Far east. We duly departed from there and commenced a Suez canal transit and headed into the Indian Ocean. A few days on Anti Piracy patrol was the ship’s first tasking, though nothing came of it. Next a little jaunt for the task group across the Indian ocean to rendezvous with the Indian navy and a few days of joint exercises ensued.

However we had more than the Indian Navy on our Menu. A dash round India to the other side ensued to meet up with the Bangladeshi Navy and more fun and games that navies’ love.

Where next? Ah yes Singapore.

Just a short, enjoyable stay there,  to pick up Mail, stores, spares, and top up with Fuel, and then we were of to exercise once more. This time with the Malaysian Navy. More of the same. Then back to Singapore and the journey home as portrayed in the Video.

I could go on, but won’t.

My time was up when the vessel reached Gibraltar, where I had my retirement bash in the Waterfront restaurant. I then flew into retirement and haven’t looked back since.

I don’t miss my time in the RFA (43 years) although in the early years, fun and work, were on equal par with one another. However in the final years the regime of Elf and Safetee, smoking regulations, alcohol restrictions and numerous other restrictions to the affable life of the past convinced me that it was time to go. So I did.

It’s Friday

One for the Angry Exile.


Still falling.

It would appear that there is absolutely no confidence in stocks at the moment


In four days the Footsie has fallen back to Aug 2010 levels.

Thursday 4 August 2011

Looks like the economy is tanking

A quick snapshot of the Footsie100 today.


footsi 3 day

That’s three straight days in a row.

As of last trade, FTSE 100 Index (FTSE:FSI) traded at 5,460, 7.68% above its 52-week low of 5,071, set on August 25, 2010.

An interesting Hobby.

A Swedish man has been arrested after attempting to split atoms in his kitchen, claiming that he was only doing it as a “hobby”.

I must say that I’ve never thought of taking up a hobby like that. Mmmmm.

Handl, 31, said he had tried for months to set up a nuclear reactor at home and kept a blog about his experiments, describing how he created a small meltdown on his stove.

The best bit about the article is the comments that follow.

“If he sold his story to the tabloids, he could make a bomb.”


“I think my wife split some atoms in our kitchen this evening.
She called it 'dinner', but I have my doubts.   If I glow later on, Let me know.”


“Didn't he know that the easiest way to split atoms is to put them in a box marked "Fragile" and send it through the post?”


“Blue Peter has much to answer for

Finally another man who won’t be getting any how’s your father any time soon.

“Judging from my wife's attempts at cooking and the frequent 'meltdowns' which occur in our kitchen,  I think she has proven beyond all doubt that 'cold fusion' DOES exist.”

Wednesday 3 August 2011

What am I getting at here?

Scroll through the pictures to the bottom













One Useless F****ing Cat

Will I Live to see 80?

Here's something to think about.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor.  After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I am turning sixty three in  nine months time.)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine, or spirits? 

'Oh no,' I replied (Lying naturally).  'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat steaks and other red meat?

I said, 'Not much... my  former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!' (Steak tonight)

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said. (Two week holiday in the sun coming up).

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have lots of sex?'        

'No,'  I said...

He looked at me and said,..  'Then, why do you even give a shit?

Tuesday 2 August 2011

Bloody thieves

Just been to pick up my Daughter and her  Husband from the airport. My, how they rip you off just to park in their car parks, which you have to use. They proudly boast that it’ll only cost you a pound for the first 15 minutes. Would you pay that anywhere else? No you wouldn’t is the answer. The trouble is they have a monopoly.

Because my Daughter’s flight was delayed (Not flagged up on the website till after I was on the way to the airport), and due to the vagaries of the baggage handling personnel, it cost me a fucking fortune. One hour and ten minutes cost me £9. I think my local town centre car parks rip me off at 80p hour, but this is just usury. This works out at approx 13p/min.

North and South Terminal short stay prices

Up to 15 Minutes                               £1.00

15 Minutes - 30 Minutes                 £2.80

30 Minutes - 1 Hour                          £5.60

1 - 2 hours                                             £9.00

2 - 3 hours                                             £11.50

3 - 4 hours                                             £14.70

4 - 5 hours                                             £18.00

5 - 6 hours                                             £21.00

6 - 9 hours                                             £25.00

9 - 12 hours                                           £30.00

12 - 24 hours                                         £32.50

Each 24 hour period thereafter    £32.50

The long stay car parks are not much better, and that’s why going on holiday in a couple of weeks time it makes sense to use a taxi service.


I feel another letter to my MP is needed. (I’m still waiting for an answer to the last one I wrote to him). He’s probably labelled me as an Anarchist. so if this blogger stops posting just google “Pentonville Inmates”. You’re sure to find me.

Monday 1 August 2011


A while ago I decided to drag out my reserve computer. The laptop.

I noticed that there was 84 security updated from Microsoft pending, and being a gullible, but trusting fool, decided to download them. Now that was a mistake too far. As any of you who have windows know, once they’re downloaded you are asked to shut down the computer in order for them to take effect.

So I did and the machine shut down and then restarted. Followed shortly with the message “Windows is installing new updates” Great.

Well, not really. That same message was still being displayed after 42 hours. Didn’t matter how I rebooted the laptop the same still happened. Nothing I tried would persuade this piece of devil’s spawn from doing anything else.

Solution. Reload the operating system, in this case Windows 7.

Now you have two options when installing windows 7. Clean install, or Upgrade. Clean install is more efficient but you lose all your data. Upgrade will keep your data but not as efficient at operating.

Upgrade was the chosen option in this case and after several hours of hard drive working, the classical message of “Installation complete, windows needs to shut down and restart for completion”. (Or some such).

So be it. That’s how you carry out an upgrade install.


What did I see on my desktop? Nothing but a recycle bin!

Everything gone.

Now I do have a back up of important documents, so that wasn’t a problem, but the lack of word processor and other useful programmes is a bit of a handicap.

So I thought I would just download Open Office, Anti Virus software, and anything else I would need.

Wrong again.

No WiFi. Bastards.

After a lot of asking around I managed to download by using the desktop computer, a programme that might, or might not, be able to get the wiFi operating on the laptop.

Now of course you’re expecting a tale of woe in that it didn’t work. Much to my amazement it did work.

However I have another dilemma. At the moment I’m at my son’s place having just helped him break out of his prison cell Isolation ward. I installed Ubuntu as a second operating system some while ago and want to get rid of it as this laptop is running out of available space. Having looked at all the online articles about ,removing said  programme I think I’ll play safe and wait till I’m within striking distance of my Windows seven disk. As they say. Once bitten twice shy.

Tomorrow I go home.

The recession has hit everybody really hard...

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having s*x with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with coins while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Kensington fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of British were caught sneaking into Ethiopia.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.