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Tuesday 30 June 2015

I'm back.

And I'm exhausted.

Arrived back from our family holiday on the island of Crete late sunday afternoon. since then it has been all go. Incidentally the islanders take the whole monetary crisis in their stride. No stampede for the cash machines at all. Then again, where we stay, all the transactions are carried out on a cash basis as a matter of course.

Yesterday was grand child sitting duties. Up at 0600 and back home at 1930. Bloody hard work looking after a three year old and a one year old.

Today was the same except longer as SE trains don't seem to work in hot weather and the daughter was late back.

I've also only got half a roof as I called in roofers to fix the main roof before Mrs FE's kitchen extension was built.

It will be interesting tomorrow when the chimney sweep does his business whilst the roofers are on the job.

All in all it is very busy at the FE mansion.

I think I need a holiday.

Saturday 13 June 2015

Time out.

I'm off on holiday tomorrow. Blogging will be sporadic to non existent for two weeks.

It'll be hell.

Thursday 11 June 2015

Oh hell

The view from my front door this evening.

Never, ever let your other half talk you into building a larger kitchen. This morning I was woken at O crack sparrow fart by the doorbell. "Please sir could you sign for the delivery of one digger and a dumper truck". A sleepy "OK" was the reply.

Since then I've seen my patio and underpinning clay soil, steadily moved from the back of my house to the front. That pile is not even half that has to be moved.

I've also had to try and sort out what dates a roofer will be able to come in and do essential maintenance on the back of the main roof which involves scaffolding to be erected.

There was also the resiting of the satellite dish.

What does Mrs FE do? Shopping.

Still not to worry, we're off to the sunny island of Crete this weekend. For two whole weeks.

Mind you the building inspector is due in on Tuesday to discuss the footings required with the builder.

I think I might just turn my Mobile off.

PS. My stats tell me I've just passed 1,000,000 page views for this blog.

Tuesday 9 June 2015


Typical greens. They can't get anything right.

Hildenborough residents are celebrating speed sign success after 85 years of campaigning.Villagers say they have wanted to get the speed limit reduced since 1930 and now Kent County Council has put up new 30mph signs in the area.The new speed markers, which were put up last week, show a reduction from 40mph and have been placed at the beginning of the village by Foxbush Road.Eva Charrington, of Mill Lane and part of the Hildenborough Green Party, said: "We have just seen the two 30mph signs by the Hildenborough sign. This is brilliant.
 And further on:

Cllr Dagger added: "I am extremely pleased they have a reduction in speed limit right through the village.
"They have been trying for years and hadn't had much luck.
"I had a grant I could use for highways purposes so could do it for them – it was a serendipitous moment.
"It had been difficult in the past to get a 30mph limit as police didn't have the resources to enforce the limit but I've used my members' highways fund.

Or not. An E-mail sent to me from my mole on the council.

From: xxxxxx [mailto:xxxxxx]
Sent: 08 June 2015 15:46To:; Rhodes Mark RSubject: New 30 mph speed limit - B245 Hildenborough Dear Valerie, I do not know if you are aware but the B245 Hildenborough from the Hilden Manor to just past Foxbush is now signed as a 30 mph speed limit.  Unfortunately this is an error and the signs have been installed too soon.  In order to revoke the Traffic Regulation Order for the 40 mph speed limit, a legal process must be followed and this is still ongoing.  ; I am advised that consultation is expected to commence within the next two-weeks I am aware several enquiries have been received by KCC and Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council.  At the moment the 30 mph is illegal and unenforceable, and as such is going to be removed as a matter of urgency.  The 40 mph signs will be put back out on site.  As soon as the 40 mph speed limit has been revoked, the 30 mph speed limit signs will be reinstalled. Please be assured that I am doing everything I can to rectify this situation and am working with the contractor to get the speed limit put back to 40 mph.  The cost to put back the 40 mph will not be met by KCC, likewise the cost to reinstall the 30 mph speed limit following completion of the TRO process. (My embolding)
 I would offer you my sincere apologies for the distress and inconvenience caused by this error. Kind regards,

I should hope that councillor Dagger and those that  are instrumental in this fiasco are made to pay the costs involved.

I'd like to know who these people who have been pushing for it are, as this is the first I've heard of it. And I've lived in the village for 40 years. They must be feeling pretty stupid after reading this article.

Sunday 7 June 2015


The outfit I worked for in cartoon form.

I sailed on both of those ships.

Wednesday 3 June 2015

You want what? A clean cat?

Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the bath with the cat and close the sliding -glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)

Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)

. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the bath enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)

Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the bath, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defences and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better

*No cats were harmed in the writing of this article. Just the owners*

Monday 1 June 2015

Smoke and the state will snatch your children.

So it's come to pass that the state apparatus can take your children away if you smoke in your own home.

A two-year-old boy has been put up for adoption because his parents are smokers.
This has been reported in much of the MSM, but the smoking is cited as the main culprit.

Only in passing is the following mentioned:

The judge was told that the boy's father had mental health problems and that their home had been “dirty, smelly and unhygienic”.
There was also evidence of drug paraphernalia and the father had also tested positive for cocaine.
Now if I was the health visitor I wouldn't be able to bear the guilt of being the cause of a son being legally torn away from his parents for ever.

And I would hope that this foul creature will repent of the evil she has encouraged when she is finally on her death bed.

Responding to this case, Deborah Arnott, Chief Executive of health charity ASH said: “This is a very sad case. It should serve as a reminder to other parents or guardians who smoke that they should avoid smoking in the presence of their children because of the significant harm that can be caused by tobacco smoke.”