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Thursday 1 April 2010

Crossing the Border

LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT.


IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOUR.


IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.


IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.


IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.


IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

 
IF YOU CROSS THE UK BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET
1 - A JOB,
2 - A DRIVER’S LICENCE,
3 - SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER,
4 - WELFARE,
5 - FAMILY CREDIT,
6 - CREDIT CARDS,
7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
8 - FREE EDUCATION,
9 - FREE HEALTH CARE,
10 - A LOBBYIST IN PARLIAMENT
11 - BILLIONS OF £'s WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
12 - AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR OWN COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT

 
WITH AN ELECTION COMING I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP OF THE SITUATION!!!!
WOULD NOT WANT TO VOTE INCORRECTLY NOW WOULD I ?

Shamelessly stolen from Last of the few.

H/T to Mrs Rigsby

This better be an April fool's spoof.

cat and lion

As part of the review of legislation concerning dogs, a new proposal has been released with the intention of banning smoking in pet owners’ homes. A spokesperson for DEFRA is quoted as saying “Under the Animal Welfare Act 2006, if a pet owner knowingly exposes a pet to a risk of disease, they are committing an offence. Smoking in the presence of a pet will inevitably expose the animal to known irritants and carcinogens, which are likely to cause both disease and suffering to the animal.”

And

Local authority and RSPCA officers have already been instructed to investigate possible instances of smoking in pet owners’ homes. If smoking is proven to have taken place, the pet owner will be given two options: surrender of the animal into local authority care, or confiscation of all smoking materials.

 

That's the cats out on the streets then. (Mind you it's going to save me a lot of money in not buying cat food. Think of all the extra Baccy I will be able to afford.)

Mark my words they would try if they thought they'd get past my cricket bat.

Oh I do hope they create a black hole

lhc

 

London Underground is in talks with the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (Cern) about the possibility of using the 23km tunnel of the Circle Line to house a new type of particle accelerator similar to the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva.

Particle physicists believe the existing tunnel can be adapted to take a small-scale "atom smasher" alongside the passenger line at a fraction of the cost of building a new tunnel elsewhere in Europe. They are understood to have approached London Underground with a view to announcing a feasibility study later this year.

Specialist engineers commissioned by Cern have already produced a preliminary report, seen by The Independent, which proposes installing supercooled magnets and collision detectors at strategic positions on the Circle Line. The main collision experiment will be sited at the newly refurbished Westminster Station, directly below Portcullis House, the offices of more than 200 MPs.

Compliance by pain?

An LBC phone in discussing the new "shotgun" Taser.

The Public might be right to be skeptical over climate change?

Quote:

"In the aftermath of Climategate a lot of scientists working on global warming-related topics are upset that their field has apparently lost credibility with the public. The public seems to believe that climatology is beset with cliquish gatekeeping, wagon-circling, biased peer-review, faulty data and statistical incompetence. In response to these perceptions, some scientists are casting around, in op-eds and weblogs, for ideas on how to hit back at their critics. I would like to suggest that the climate science community consider instead whether the public might actually have a point."

Source