This better be an April fool's spoof.

As part of the review of legislation concerning dogs, a new proposal has been released with the intention of banning smoking in pet owners’ homes. A spokesperson for DEFRA is quoted as saying “Under the Animal Welfare Act 2006, if a pet owner knowingly exposes a pet to a risk of disease, they are committing an offence. Smoking in the presence of a pet will inevitably expose the animal to known irritants and carcinogens, which are likely to cause both disease and suffering to the animal.”

And

Local authority and RSPCA officers have already been instructed to investigate possible instances of smoking in pet owners’ homes. If smoking is proven to have taken place, the pet owner will be given two options: surrender of the animal into local authority care, or confiscation of all smoking materials.

 

That's the cats out on the streets then. (Mind you it's going to save me a lot of money in not buying cat food. Think of all the extra Baccy I will be able to afford.)

Mark my words they would try if they thought they'd get past my cricket bat.

Oh I do hope they create a black hole

 

London Underground is in talks with the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (Cern) about the possibility of using the 23km tunnel of the Circle Line to house a new type of particle accelerator similar to the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva.

Particle physicists believe the existing tunnel can be adapted to take a small-scale "atom smasher" alongside the passenger line at a fraction of the cost of building a new tunnel elsewhere in Europe. They are understood to have approached London Underground with a view to announcing a feasibility study later this year.

Specialist engineers commissioned by Cern have already produced a preliminary report, seen by The Independent, which proposes installing supercooled magnets and collision detectors at strategic positions on the Circle Line. The main collision experiment will be sited at the newly refurbished Westminster Station, directly below Portcullis House, the offices of more than 200 MPs.