THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

We Must Stop This Immediately*

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. shopping bags are heavier and, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?**

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection well, REALLY NOW even mirrors are not made the way they used to be.

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.**

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much!
Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the** telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!**
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE post this on your blog AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!**

PS: I am writing this in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.

Stony Stratford. The Sequel

It would seem that the locals don’t think much about Councillor Bartlett either. Just a few comments posted on the facebook page of AboutMyArea. If you don’t know the story about this pompous fuckwit, just clink on his linky name.

"What about the smokers who work in Stony? Will they have to get in their cars and drive outside the town limits to have a smoke? Most will get in their cars and leave Stony well behind. I'm an ex-smoker and agree with not smoking in shops and offices but this is prohibition by any other means. And will this ban apply to people smoking in their own gardens so that they don't offend their neighbours?" Derek Barrett

"If this is the top of the list of priorities on the town council agenda then all other problems must have been solved then? I suggest the town council spend their time looking at setting up a trust for the people of Stony Stratford with their first aim of taking complete control of the library its books and the building. This is likely to attract more interest" Kevin DeCort

"I appreciate the reasoning behind this. Why not consider banning smoking in certain areas, e.g. The High Street, outside schools, doctors. I am a smoker and I ALWAYS find a bin or ashtray to extinguish my cigarette, I don't throw them on the floor. Perhaps it would be an idea to also ban chewing of gum in the street as that makes much more mess and costs taxpayers much more to clean up." Sue Gray

"If this goes ahead businesses in Stony are really going to suffer, especially pubs...what a waste of time and resources...I don't even smoke and I'm annoyed!" Emma Kennedy

"I have never smoked in my life, but the only outcome i can see, of this proposed ban would be the death of Stony's vibrant social life. The pubs/bars and restaurants would most definitely suffer, and because my husband smokes, we would more likely drink in our local village pub instead of taking a walk into Stony, for a meal and a drink."  Fiona Nicholls

"I'm a non smoker but really don't think a smoking ban in open spaces is necessary or beneficial to Stony Stratford. Businesses are having a bad enough time right now as it is without pushing more customers away from the High Street. If the ...council want to tackle the problem of cigarette butts being thrown on the floor etc maybe they should look at installing more bins with ashtrays attached and that get emptied on a more regular basis! Banning smoking in open spaces is just not necessary!" Jonathan Woodward

I wonder if he’ll get re-elected.

Hah.                                                                           Pic stolen unashamedly from Lawson Narse.

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