Taking the cat to the vet

Yearly booster time for the furry killing machine that I call a cat.

Joy. So.

• Find the cat.
• Find the catbox.
• Find the cat again.
• Introduce cat to catbox.
• Cat goes in the cat box quietly (this should have been a warning to me)
• Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
• Shut door.
• Run around to drivers side, jump in and start engine.
• Cat mieows.
• Select reverse.
• Cat explodes from catbox like that thing from Alien.
• Cat runs around car shedding fur.
• Open door.
• Cat escapes.
• Go into house and find parcel tape.
• Tape box up securely.
• Find the cat again.
• Catch cat.
• Introduce cat to catbox.
• Cat goes in the cat box with a hell of a struggle.
• Tape up wounds in hands.
• Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
• Shut door.
• Run around to drivers side, jump in (engine is still running).
• Select reverse and get the car off the drive.
• Cat rips through parcel tape like the hulk, scaring the crap out off me.
• Car runs around the car in a panic drooling and shedding fur.
• Open door.
• Cat escapes. Again.
• Go into house and find elephant tape. (I’ve used this stuff to stop kayaks leaking on white water)
• Tape box up securely. Then use more tape.
• Then think "sod it" and use the whole roll.
• Find cat again.
• Tempt cat using favorite treats.
• Pretty much have to saw the cats legs off in an attempt to get him into the accursed box.
• Take off gardening gloves (learning from my mistakes)
• Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
• Shut door.
• Run around to drivers side, jump in (engine has now burnt half a tank of fuel).
• Get the car turned around.
• Cat still in box, meiowing pathetically.
• Comfort cat while driving.
• Get halfway to vet.
• Pointy eared escape artist does it again. This time at 40mph.
• Cat runs around the car in a blind panic drooling and shedding fur.
• Avoid crashing the car by about 3mm. This is not good.
• Options. Stop, open door to get out and lose cat.
• Or, keep driving and risk cat scratching eyes out.
• Elect to take the eye scratching option. Glasses should prevent serious injury.
• Cat runs around car shedding unbelieveable amounts of fur.
• People giving me really funny looks.
• Furry Fangio ends up sitting on my lap with two paws on the steering wheel looking out of the front window.
• I’d have taken pictures, but I was rather busy at the time.
• People now giving me *really* funny looks.
• 5 minutes pass.
• Get to the vet.
• Park the car.
• Somehow get the car back into the box.
• Get into vets rather harassed.
• Nice vet takes 2 minutes to check and inject the cat.
• She then spends 5 minutes helping me reinforce the cat box to get home again.
• Takes 2 of us to get the cat back in the box.
• Get the bill.
• Stop laughing and ask for the real bill.
• Get the same bill.
• Pick myself up from the floor.
• Pay a ton of cash for the privilege of the cat being injected. Return to car.
• Open door and place catbox in passenger footwell.
• Shut door.
• Run around to drivers side, jump in and start engine.
• Cat is silent.
• Think uh-oh.
• Leave vet.
• Cat is silent.
• Get halfway home.
• Cat is silent.
• Worry that cat is dead.
• Get home safely.
• Cat is silent.
• Now really worried. Has cat escaped silently? Is cat plotting revenge?
• Get catbox out of car.
• Open cat box.
• Cat saunters out, give me a "What?" look and wanders off.
• I stand there like a gibbering idiot.
• Cat lies in sun.
• Open beer.
• Drink.
• Open second beer.
• Get vacuum cleaner out.
• Open third beer.
• Clean cat hair out of car……

He’s now next to me on the sofa with his feet in the air snoring contentedly.

As much as I love him, sometimes I wish he was a goldfish.

Justice

 

A police sergeant who injured a woman when he assaulted her in a cell was jailed for six months today.

Sgt Mark Andrews was caught on CCTV dragging Pamela Somerville, 59, across the floor of Melksham police station in Wiltshire before shoving her into the cell.

Ms Somerville was arrested in July 2008 after being found asleep in her car. She was detained for failing to provide a sample for a breath test.

The CCTV footage shows her lying on the floor for a minute before struggling to get up with blood pouring from a head wound.

Maybe we’ll have a few less stories about police thuggery in the future. Whilst the majority of police try and do the best they can, there is still a hard core, that think the law doesn’t apply to them.

Truly shocking video

I cannot believe the hate that this child has been indoctrinated with.

How can any  organisation even think to do this?

But then again Greenpeace will use any means to further their aims.

Despicable.

H/T to Counting Cats

It keeps on coming.

More stupidity from our glorious transport system.

A couple travelling home from London by South West trains were fined for travelling outside the term and conditions of their ticket, by getting off at the wrong stop.

Oh good. Fare dodgers caught you say.

But Oh No.

Emma Clark and Davyd Winter-Bates, from Hampshire, were on a train to Southampton after a theatre trip to London to celebrate Mr Winter-Bates's 25th birthday. But the engaged pair, who were travelling on discounted £6 tickets, disembarked early, at Eastleigh in Hampshire, to meet friends.

Yes they got of EARLY.

When they showed their tickets, officials told them they had breached the rules and should have stayed on until their stated destination. They were each fined £57, twice the standard fare.

I despair. I shall go and lie down in a darkened room for a while. (After I’ve beaten my head against the wall).

Source

Blogging Fatigue.

No, not me.

I’m saddened that in the last month or so,  that three of  my favourite bloggers have lain down their keyboards.

Of course I’m sure that they have very good reasons, and I wish them the best for the future. I would just hope that one day they will return to the Blogosphere, and share their humour, depth of knowledge, sense of honour, and dedication to seeing that wrongs are righted, whilst damning the Righteous to a level of scrutiny that they try to avoid.

Constantly Furious was the first to go. Hopefully he’ll return. There is a glimmer of hope in his final post.

So, will I change my mind? I dunno. Maybe. Maybe I can force myself not to look at the stats, not to post if I've got nothing to say, or I'm doing something else, not to feel obliged to post every day, not to be, as Leg Iron points out, so obsessive about it all. Maybe.

Recently it was Mummylonglegs, Single mum with kids, dog, and kats. I miss her sweary but entertaining diatribes.

And today we have Rantinrab leaving us for family reasons.

Nothing sinister folks!
Family first, it's as simple as that.
Appreciate the good wishes, cheers!

Well I wish all of you the best. Just come back one day and entertain us as you did on a regular basis.

Computer fix.

After going through a virus attack,
losing a hard drive,
fighting off hackers,
upgrading all my software,
installing fire-walls,
being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider,
and a host of other problems...
I have fixed my computer...

and NOW it works exactly the way I want it to!

 

 

Hic.

Rude joke

WARNING. Contains visions of protected sex

 

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were all sitting around one day talking about how much their lives sucked. The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a salad." So the pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone puts me in vinegar, puts spices on me, and sticks me in a jar." The penis glared at them both and said, "You guys think you have it rough? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, they put a rubber sheet over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out."

Religion

Now I’m not that interested in religion. However.

My sleepy little hamlet  on a Friday has a religious sect that turns up to worship (I’m surmising here, it could be the local laundry convention), dressed in white sheets with the women wearing what looks like the pillow cases wrapped around their heads.

They are all  black (can we say that now or will I be arrested for some implied hate racial crime ?).

Can anyone shed some light on which religious sect they are from?

I’m just curious to know why they are practising their faith in my village which is 99.99% white skinned. Do they feel persecuted in their own neighbourhood? If so, why?

Oh dear.

I see that there is a phobia for anything now.

Try this one on for size

Anatidaephobia?

 

 

Anatidaephobia is defined as a pervasive, irrational fear that one is being watched by a duck. The anatidaephobic individual fears that no matter where they are or what they are doing, a duck watches.

Anatidaephobia is derived from the Greek word "anatidae", meaning ducks, geese or swans and "phobos" meaning fear.

What Causes Anatidaephobia?
As with all phobias, the person coping with Anatidaephobia has experienced a real-life trauma. For the anatidaephobic individual, this trauma most likely occurred during childhood.
Perhaps the individual was intensely frightened by some species of water fowl. Geese and swans are relatively well known for their aggressive tendencies and perhaps the anatidaephobic person was actually bitten or flapped at. Of course, the Far Side comics did little to minimize the fear of being watched by a duck.
While we may be tempted to smile at the memory of those comics or at the mental image of being watched by a duck, for the anatidaephobic person, that fear is uncontrollable. Whatever the cause, the anatidaephobic person can experience emotional turmoil and anxiety that is completely disruptive to daily functioning.

What Are the Symptoms of Anatidaephobia?
The symptoms of Anatidaephobia vary from person to person. Some people, when confronted with their fear, may feel slightly uncomfortable, become nauseated or begin to perspire. Others are so severely compromised by this phobia, that they experience crippling anxiety and/or panic attacks.
Other symptoms of Anatidaephobia can include:

• A Dry Mouth
• Gasping or Shortness of Breath
• Muscle Tension
• Overall Trembling
• Hyperventilation
• Feeling Out of Control
• Feeling Trapped and Unable to Escape
• Overwhelming Feeling of Impending Disaster

How Is Anatidaephobia Diagnosed?
The vast majority of cases of Anatidaephobia are self-diagnosed. The individual realizes that their fear of being watched by a duck is irrational and is severely interfering with their ability to function on a daily basis.

That’s me staying away from rivers and ponds now.

Guido Fawkes, shames the blogosphere.

Paul Staines, aka Guido Fawkes, in my opinion has set back the credibility of serious bloggers, by publishing his scurrilious post on the hotel living arrangement of William Hague and his Spad .

Having read his post. I find it highly objectionable in that that he promotes unfounded rumours about the foreign secretary without any proof of sexual impropriety.

Having read his blog, I am more inclined to imagine, that he is more interested in keeping his blog hit, stats up, than keeping any sense of integrity.

On my blog, I might be an intemperate old fart, but I would never, ever, impugn someone’s reputation over a mere trifle,  without  positive proof. To imply an assertion without proof is downright wrong.

Maybe he’ll post with some revelation in the next few days to support his assertions. If not, I would hope that he has the decency to apologise.

I’m not holding my breath.