And a touch of culture to end tonight

Well you Philistines need something.

A Pittance of time

Someone read one of my old blogs and it brought this to mind. Although this was written for Remembrance Sunday I thought this was apposite to our troops who are being killed or wounded almost daily in Afghanistan.

I have been in more wars and conflicts than I wish to remember. Can we stop now? We are losing too many of our youth to satisfy the ambitions of those in Government who have no idea of the horror. Has Gordon Brown ever seen a headless corpse inches from his eyes? I have. It still gives me nightmares after 40 years.

That Climate change advert.

A slight twist. Oh and how can that dear cherub have such a foul mouth?

Saturday light entertainment

I'm bored but you don't need to be:

One Liners

    

I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door.
They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
---
Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say "congratulations"
but none of them rub your d1ck and say "well done"?
---
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything.
I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are you getting on?"
---
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"
---
My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw.
It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.
---
Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!

Personally I think its bollocks!!
---
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.
After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
---
What's the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack?
The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.
---
Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"
"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."
---
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
---
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big
blue hair."

I think I've just broken every rule in the PC book. If my blog goes off line unexpectedly..............................

Spin the bottle

An excellent article over at the devil's Kitchen, penned by the Filthy Smoker.

It's all about the debate on minimum pricing for Alcohol.

 

Go and read it. Den of liars

Keystone cops anyone?

You really couldn't make it up.

It would appear that Thames valley Police are even more incompetant than their Home Office rating of "poor".

Maybe their could be a level of "Abysmal" added?

Officers were alerted to an armed raid at a Lloyds TSB branch in Henley-on-Thames, South Oxon, but instead scrambled to another bank more than 14 miles away in a different county.

Meanwhile, the armed thief walked out of the bank with tens of thousands of pounds.

"It's not us. It was the alarms fault Guv".

Thames Valley Police chiefs said an automatic alarm had sent officers to the branch in Pangbourne, Berks.

Come on. Pull the other leg it's got bells on.

Police are appealing for any information about the robber, who is described as Asian, about 30 years of age and 5ft 8ins tall.

At least they have given up being politically correct by naming the robber's ethnicity.

 

The whole story is from The Telegraph

From a publication that knows it how it was.

I was pointed to a well known publication and read an article that summed up the condition of the EU.

Take this little bit.

Take “human dignity,” for instance. As a result of the benefits Neoliberal Capitalism has been showering on Europe since the fall of the Berlin Wall, by day the streets of most European cities have become a living room for increasing numbers of homeless. At night these streets are transformed into open-air bedrooms, with the homeless making themselves comfortable on mattresses made out of flattened cardboard boxes. The streets seamlessly convert into dining rooms whenever the homeless are hungry. Then they go about scavenging for leftovers among the rubbish in dustbins and garbage containers.

And finally it finishes with:

All talk about human dignity, physical and mental integrity, and liberty and security of person is empty. It is empty because the security of the state (the EU and its member states) is deemed to have priority. You can find proof in the Lisbon Treaty, Title II, article 67:2 “ The Union shall endeavour to ensure a high level of security through measures to prevent and combat crime, racism and xenophobia, and through measures for coordination and cooperation between police and judicial authorities and other competent authorities, as well as through the mutual recognition of judgments in criminal matters and, if necessary, through the approximation of criminal laws.” The clause seems bland, but it means state security (however defined) takes precedence over the rights of individuals.

Have a guess at which national Newspaper this is from.

If you haven't worked it out then look here.

 

H/T to

Uncle bill

Face/Palm

 

It really is time to end the BBC license fee, if this is the way they throw it away.

The BBC has lavished thousands of pounds teaching staff how to learn to use social networking site Facebook, despite its simplicity.

The corporation has been holding day long classes called Making The Web Work For You, for large numbers of its 23,000 workforce.

I'm sure that if a private company wasted it's money like this, the shareholders would be baying for the directors blood. If those at the Beeb are to thick to find out how to use something that a child manages easily. Then they should be fired.

One worker said: 'We're meant to be belt-tightening. It is an astonishing waste of money. Teenagers who can barely read or write have managed to teach themselves.'

Others have pointed out that most BBC staff already know how to use these sites.

Mind you it does reflect in some of the dross they produce.

Lastly, comes the justification.

Yesterday the BBC defended the web courses. It claimed the courses helped journalists to 'develop effective and comprehensive internet research and social media skills'.

*Head/Desk*

Read it here if you must. I'm losing the will to live (Again).

ASH sets the Budget

 

It's really all about the money isn't it. This little snippet from the ASH site.

We also believe that the Government should, in addition, increase tobacco prices this year by 5% above the projected rate of inflation through taxation. The attached report for ASH models the impact both in terms of the impact on public finances and economic benefit from such a tax increase and finds that government revenues will increase by over £500 million a year, amounting to £2.6 billion over five years. These benefits arise from the following revenue streams set out in the table below:

Increased revenue from tobacco taxation;

Reductions in healthcare costs;

Increased tax receipts from additional years of working life;

Increased tax receipts from reduced absenteeism;

Reduced spending on benefits relating on benefits related to sickness and disability; taking into account

Increased spending on state benefits for retired people.

Here is the link. Don't go there if you have high blood pressure.

Insufferable prigs

CUNTS

Nick Hogan case picked up by the MSM

They really are a bit slow. Do keep up.

 

Freedom arrived earlier than expected for smoking ban martyr Nick Hogan yesterday... courtesy of a briefcase full of cash carried by a man in a green Guy Fawkes mask.

Former pub landlord Mr Hogan became the first person to be jailed in connection with the smoking ban when he was sentenced to six months for refusing to pay a fine imposed for flouting the legislation.

His plight inspired a campaign on the internet to raise funds to pay off his outstanding fines.

It reached its climax yesterday (national no-smoking day, no less) when a mysterious blogger called Old Holborn delivered the money to Forest Bank prison in Salford - 11 days into Mr Hogan's sentence.

The arrival of the self-styled ' libertarian vigilante' at the Category B prison in his mask, full black costume and hat left other visitors amused or bewildered.

In the prison car park, Old Holborn, who wore his costume to hide his identity, flipped open the metal case to reveal enough bundles of used fivers and tenners to pay the £8,445.15 needed to secure 43-year-old Mr Hogan's release.

 

Source