Mystic Meg could do better than the Met Office

Yesterdays forecast for the South East today was that it would be clear and bright. I suppose that was meant to mean the snowflakes that are falling on my patio as I write this. Tossers. And they really mean to say that they can predict the weather in 30 years time?

Try getting the next 24 hours correct.

Obviously that £30,000,000 computer is no good for forecasting the weather. As you've proved it's so useless, can I have it as a gaming machine?

44 years in the Royal Fleet Auxiliary, Part 3.

When I left you last time I was just about to land in Singapore.

Now for a young lad whose only experience of foreign travel was a single holiday in France, this was an astounding experience in the difference between West and East.

Firstly, the weather, hot and humid, like nothing I'd ever imagined.

Secondly, the smell. Fragrant plant smells with a coupcon of open drain.

Thirdly, everyone was smaller than me.

I'd been told that I would be met by the "Agent", whoever he was. Surprise surprise, I was met by a very polite Chinese Gentleman who informed that the ship hadn't arrived and that he would convey me to a hotel.

The hotel was one of those old colonial buildings of which many were built in the time when Great Britain ruled most of the world. Lofty, large, airy, and truly amazing compared with the average british house.

Anyway back to the tale of this young Engineer cadet..................

The following morning, after a truly amazing breakfast of Nasi Goreng, the agent returned to take me to my ship. The RFA Retainer. (Pictured above).

The Retainer was an ammunition stores ship which carried a variety of those very stores that make very loud bangs when they're angry. Even the biggest known to man. (still covered by the Official Secrets Act, so I'm being discrete here).

Armament Store Issuing Ships. RFA Retainer. A329. (Ex Chungking). GRT 9498. Built 1950. RFA service 1955 - 1979.
Length overall: 477ft. Beam: 62ft. Draught: 25ft. Depth: 35ft.
Machinery: 1 X 6-cylinder Scotts'/Doxford diesel engine, 6500bhp, single shaft. Speed: 15 knots.
Complement: 132 RFA, 34 naval stores staff.

Anyway. having walked up the brow I was sent to see the Second Engineer who would be like a God to me. The power of authority on ships in those days was truly immense. After being suitably humbled as to my lowly state in the heirarchy, I was shown to my cabin. A rabbit hutch that I had to share with another cadet.

That's enough for now. Next episode will be about............................. Doxfords. Maybe.

David Cameron's speech.

After all we need balanced coverage.



H/T to Martin

Gordon Brown's reply to David Cameron

H/T to Dick Puddlecote for this.

Shame on these islamist nutjobs.

That odious group "Islam for the UK" is planning to carry out a march through the town of Wootton Bassett in protest against our troops fighting in Afghanistan.

Islam4UK, a platform for the global front Al-Muhajiroun, would like to announce the launch of a momentous march that is scheduled to take place in the following weeks, details of which will be released shortly inshaa'allah (God willing).

The destination of this very special event is the small market town of Wootton Bassett, located 6 miles Southwest of Swindon, in northern Wiltshire; Wootton Bassett, is currently famous for its public mourning processions held in memory of British soldiers killed whilst on military service in Afghanistan; coffins containing the dismembered bodies of these soldiers are usually draped in union jack flags and driven through the town centre from RAF Lyneham, as a tribute to their ‘sacrifice'.

Have they no sensitivity for the distress it will cause the families of the brave soldiers who died over there?

Mind you, they only have had two comments on their site about this announcement. Shows how much popular support they have on there. I suspect the rest of that rabble are keeping their heads down.

That Andrew Marr interview with Gordon Brown

H/T to Iain Dale

Guilty

Just checked the level of the FE's wine lake. It would appear that we breached the so called "alcohol guidelines" by a factor of ten last night. Do I give a shit? No.

Just easing the pain with a fine single malt or three.

2010. The truth will come out

Hat Tip to G.O.T

And the Winner is...........

One of the top Darwin awards for 2009.

Double Darwin!

(26 September 2009, Belgium) The city of Dinant is the backdrop for this rare Double Darwin Award. Two bankrobbers attempting to make a sizeable withdrawal from an ATM machine died when they overestimated the quantity of dynamite needed for the explosion. The blast demolished the building the bank was housed in. Nobody else was in the building at the time of the attack.

Robber One was rushed to the hospital with severe head trauma; he died shortly after arrival. Investigators initially assumed that his accomplice had managed a getway, but the second bungler's body was excavated from the debris twelve hours later. Would-be Robbers One and Two weren't exactly impoverished--their getaway car was a BMW.

READER COMMENTS:
"Debit cards are safer."
"Dynamite: not for everything."
"They really blew it."
"Self Banking Gone Extreme"

Please read this quietly. And don't slam the door on your way out

Happy New Year

The title tells all