Common sense. Irretrievably lost.

I really really despair. Why are these fuckwits even employed in the first place?

Soon after taking a snap of his four-year-old daughter Hazel 'looking cute on the back of a vespa seat at an ice cream bar', Mr White claims he was approached by a security guard and told his actions were 'illegal'.

And you know what happens next. Yes, you’ve got it.

Mr White explained his daughter was the only person present in the photos but was allegedly ordered to delete them from his mobile phone.

The 45-year-old replied that the photos had already been uploaded to Facebook and so he didn't see the worth in deleting them from his phone, prompting the security guard to call the police.

Of course the police used their common sense. No they interrogated questioned him citing the excuse of the “Prevention of Terrorism Act”.

When the police showed up, Mr White claims he was questioned in an 'intimidating' manner by one officer, who allegedly said he had the right to confiscate the father's phone under the Prevention of Terrorism Act.

A spokesman for Braehead said the centre's security guards were alerted after staff at an ice cream stall became 'suspicious' of Mr White's actions.

 

I bet the ice cream stall staff might wish that they'd kept their noses out of it. I think they might see a drastic drop off in their sales.

I see that this has gone viral now as even the Beeb ran with it.

There’s even a facebook page condemning the actions of Braehead staff and management. The link is below. About 15,000 members so far.

I think I’ll take up photography, specialising in shopping centres. Anyone have a small child I can borrow?

 

UPDATE: The management have apologised to Mr White.

"Dear Mr White
I am writing to formally apologise for the distress that we may have caused you and your family when you visited Braehead last Friday.
As you may be aware, in light of your complaint and the public debate surrounding the incident, we have decided to change our photography policy to allow family and friends to take photos in the mall.
Once again, I wish to sincerely apologise for any distress we may have caused,
Kind regards
Peter"

It would seem that the power of the internet, can work to reign in the jobsworths that infest this country.

 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Boycott-Braehead/288861364476077

How to get around call centre menus?

Just a little vid to help you get through to human on the end of the phone, without having to press all those pesky numbers

 

If you find that you still get no sense you could call the Chief Executive of the company if you are that desperate.

Eh?

Basic concept of life

This is a simple concept that I have been working on for most of my life. I am delighted to say that I believe I have refined it sufficiently to share it with a select band of friends that may appreciate its elegance and simplicity.

 

 

Simples.

Dead Man Walking

Don’t try this at home.

 

 

 

 

 

Loggerythms

1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.. 
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. 
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. 
His cost of production is 80% of the price. 
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. 
His cost of production is £80. 
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. 
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. 
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.

Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the application for the felling license. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a departure BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and leave behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. 
The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realizes that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitized debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Surrey and lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million-pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry. However, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage! send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the  UK  with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.

You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة

الانتاج 80 من

الثمن. ما هو الربح له

We are the Brits

Just a bit of a song post tonight. Instead of cowering in fear of the EU, we should remind ourselves. WE ARE THE BRITS. We’ll always be a great nation and should be proud of the fact.

H/T to Witterings from Witney

Wonder why the French are so unpopular?

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when De Gaulle decided to pull out of NATO.  De Gaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded
"Does that include those who are buried here?"

You could have heard a pin drop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.  During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims.  What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:

'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply Emergency  electrical power to shore facilities; they have three  cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.  We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?' 

You could have heard a pin drop. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Royal Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, the English learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the British Admiral replied,

'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN
WITH THE ABOVE...

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. 

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked  sarcastically. 

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. 

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." 

The Englishman said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." 

"Impossible. You English always have to show your passports on arrival in France !" 

The English senior gave the Frenchman a long hard  look.  Then he quietly explained,

''Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to." 

You could have heard a pin drop.

Those messages.

In a previous post I touched on this trend recently of receiving unsolicited text messages relating to PPI (Payment protection Insurance).

Here’s some useful info in how to report them to your Telephone service provider.

You may be report these messages to your provider. The following links may help:

Vodafone – How do I report spam text messages? Forward the spam message to VSPAM (87726).

Orange – Stop spam text messages. If you are on Orange and get spam messages, please forward them to 7726 free from your Orange phone. By doing this you are helping Orange to collate information to help reduce spam messages being sent to you and others.

02 also allow you to report on 7726. See: SPAM and unwanted subscription texts

I would also try forwarding the message onto 7726 if you are with T-Mobile or Three.

Every little helps. When you forward it on, don’t forget to add the scam number. I did!

Well I never

I’ve just tried out the experiment below.

 

It works, it works.