My House

Not.

I like the music though. Can anyone tell me what the piece is?

I’m back.

Just back from visiting Master FE in the frozen norths of Durham.

Whilst in the South of the country we had our fair share of snow which is now melting, not so ooop North.

When I left the son’s road, it was still four inches of packed snow and still bitterly cold. Some reports say that it might take till the new year to clear.

But then again we’re bound to get a quick snap of global warming to clear it away so I’m always being told.

Am I being too cynical?

Make this Global Warming stop.

I’ve dug out the path to the garage four times, to enable passage to the freezer.

I’ve de-snowed (Is this a new word?) the car twice.

I’ve cleared the drive twice. (Using the slave labour of Mrs FE).

Run out of milk.

Run out of bread ( I could have killed the couple who came out  of the local shop with eight loaves this morning. I hope they are all stale by tomorrow morning).

My gas and electricity dials are turning faster than a whirling dervish on heat.

The only consolation is that I’ve enough booze and fags to last me through the night. (The booze and fag police won’t be able to get through the snow).

Ho Hum, could be worse I suppose.

In the spring I intend to experiment in adapting the lawnmower into a snow blower.

Christmas present.

The way the snow is falling now, I’ll buy Mrs FE a bigger shovel.

I’m not happy

I decided to test my happiness on The Happy Planet site. I expect a knock on the door any minute now from Cameron’s happy police. Below are a few of the results.

Sustainability Score

Your personal Happy Planet Index(HPI) is 0.

This is well below the UK average of 40.3 and is not far off the estimated HPI for Zimbabwe of 16.6. Sorry. There are however lots of ways that you can improve your score which will be contained in the rest of this feedback.

The tips and advice below may be useful for you. The websites referred to are all based in the UK, but should be relevant for anyone living in a wealthy country.

You: 0

Average: 54.1

Life Expectancy

You: 44.2

Average: 86.1

Better still

Ecological Footprint

Your ecological footprint is 4.98 global hectares, or 2.77 planets.

Do go and give the survey a try.

*I might have been slightly economical with the truth when answering the questions.*

How long is a Flurry?

The BBC weather reported that deepest Kent would have a flurry of snow today. How can seven hours of continuous snow be a flurry?

30 cms of the stuff and it is still flurrying.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Flurry may refer to: A snow flurry; that is, a brief snow shower

Don’t do this at home.

It’s past the watershed so I’ll pose you a question

This photo is absolutely incredible... it should be a poster for what not to do.
But can you tell what's wrong with it?

Yep, guess you spotted it, too.


Never, never try to Prop-Start an aircraft without chocking the wheels!
I am sure that caught your eye right away like it did mine..

A song coming to an airport near you in the future

Made me smile.

H/T to Big brother watch

A Parable

I asked a friend's daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day.

Both her parents, Labour supporters, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

Her parents beamed, and said, "Welcome to the Labour Party!"

"Wow...what a worthy goal!" I told her.

I continued, "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds, sweep my drive and I'll pay you £25.”

“Then I'll take you over to the shop where the homeless guy sits outside. You can give him the £25 to use toward food."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work and you can just pay him the £25?"

I smiled and said, "Welcome to the Conservative Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me...........

Weather forecast

I noticed a slight shift last night in the Beeb’s weather presentation.

Now they call it “Tonight’s Report”. They used to call it “Tonight’s Forecast”.

Why the change? Is it because they’ve realised they’re not very good Shite at the forecasting bit?