Global warming- failed

I had to giggle when I saw the news on the TV, that the NASA space craft to measure CO2 in the atmosphere had failed to deploy.

They'll have to go back to tree rings and pine cones. That's a really exact science.

Jack Straw - Traitor

I cannot believe that jack Straw can deny us the contents of Cabinet minutes for the justification of the 2003 invasion of Iraq. To use the excuse that this would undermine confidence in "Cabinet Government" is completely out of order in a democratic nation.

Democracy is a form of government in which power is held directly or indirectly by citizens under a free electoral system.

By denying us, the people, a right to know why this decision was made to invade, is to deny us a further right. The right of accountability.

I will say that in the short term he may get away with it, but he'd better be prepared for the countless extra people who will be affronted by this decision and will take to the streets in the summer.

You really are a fool Jack.

It's the Birds Gordon.

The Bird Feeder


















I bought a bird feeder..
I hung it on my patio and filled it lovingly with seed.
It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder.

Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the bird shit. It was everywhere; on the patio tiles,
the chairs, the table ...
everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit in my own back garden
anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days
the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back garden was like it used to be .... quiet, serene
and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see ....

Brown & our government give out free food, subsidised housing,
free medical care, and free education and allows anyone
born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the millions. Suddenly
our taxes went up to pay for the free services; small flats
are housing 5 or more families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen
by a doctor in an emergency surgery because it is filled
with illegal non tax payers;

Your child's year 12 class is behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box;

I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English,
and people waving flags other than 'The Union Jack' are
squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding
more rights and free liberties.


Its just my opinion but:

Maybe, just maybe, it's time for the government
to take down the damn bird feeder.

Otherwise we'll be cleaning up shit forever!

Think of the children

I have three children, well, adult children.

I would say that up to two years ago, not one of the three had any interest in politics. Typical answer when asked was, "Why should I vote on something that doesn't interest me".

Gordon Brown better beware, this attitude has now changed.

Daughter No.1 will now most certainly vote for, anyone but the labour party.

Daughter No.2 wants me to save some piano wire and a lampost for the labour MP of her choice.

The Son wants to choose the lamposts and assist with tying the knots. He was good at that in the scouts.

This should worry all politicians of whatever colour, the young are getting angry. For the last decade it has only been us middle aged codgers that have taken an interest in how we have been sold down the river.

When the young get angry, politicians should be very afraid. Think of Russia, China, Iran, etc. And bye the way the Democratic Republic of Hildenborough

Prodicus makes the case against Gordon

A really great piece of writing


Prodicus: Reeling drunk advocates ‘new age of sobriety’

National theft service

I'm getting on in years (As I keep telling you), but I'm getting pissed of with the NHS.

This post is not about clinical services, MRSA, failing services,etc. No, it's about theft, pure and simple.

Over the last few years I have had several elderly relatives admitted to Hospital with one ailment or another, ie, strokes, falls, etc.

What I find abhorrent is in nearly all cases they have had money or personal possessions stolen from them. Usually cash, but in some cases precious family items.

What galls me is that whilst they proclaim proudly that their site is a "No smoking site", nowhere do they proclaim "This is a no theft site".

The latest victim of this growth industry is an Aunt-in-law, 91 years of age, who had tripped and fallen, and was taken into St. ***** Hospital in Sidcup.

Surely, apart from their duty of care for the patients health, shouldn't they be looking after their material possessions as well? Where's their duty of care?

Bloody Tossers.

Letter to the administration is now in order.

Health and Safety

I've gradually seen a change in our safety over the years. For the worse.

In older days we were provided with PPE and off we went to work. Youngsters today would jump up and say how irresponsible of the company. How can they send the workforce out before carrying out a complete risk management study first?

Well, my young friends, here's how it was done.

Before the hugely burocratic HSE came in to force, people were actually able to think for themselves. My employer would give me instruction in the use of PPE and would supply all that was neccessary. We were taught to carry out a continuous risk assessment throughout the working day.

I believe that the modern day system lulls you youngsters into a false sense of security. I will explain.

A manager at the beginning of the day, for the task in hand fills out a risk assessment form, a permit to work, a Cossh assessment, and anything else that is the flavour of the day.

All this takes away the feeling of any risk from the person who is tasked with the job. Ie, "The Boss says it's safe, so it has to be." So for the rest off the day the worker goes about his business, happy in the fact that he is safe.

He is sadly deluded.

An example:

The workplace is a 250,000 ton supertanker.

Safety equipment available: Boiler suits, hard hats, safety boots, two oxygen meters, Breathing apparatus at the hatch entrance in case of emergency, etc.

Three sailors are tasked with entering a ballst tank for inspection of the coatings. All the relevant checks have been carried out. Oxygen meter lowered into the tank, and good atmosphere found. So far so good.( No It's not. There were only two oxygen meters, weren't there?)
Portable lighting lowered into the tank, so far so good.
Rescue equipment available at the tank entrance at the top of the tank. So far so good.

The three sailors enter into the tank. They are quite safe, their boss has filled in the paperwork, therefore they MUST be safe.
Down at the bottom of the tank they start their allotted task, however due to the fact they took an hour in sorting out the paperwork, they are running late. So they split up.

NB: A ballast tank on a 250,000 ton tanker is huge.

After a while there is a loud thump. One of the sailors has collapsed. The other two hurry towards him but their oxygen meters go off. What should they do? If they go to assist him they will put themselves in the same danger. Their only course of action is to get themselves out of harms way and call for help.
Which they do.

Did the sailor who collapsed due to oxygen starvation survive? Sadly,no. The rescue team donned breathing apparatus and descended into the tank to save him. When they reached the bottom they attempted to carry him up the vertical ladder to safety.

I did mention it was a 250,000 ton supertanker didn't I?

They never made it out. Their BA might have got them out alone, but the extra workload used too much air, and they ran out, and died.


Moral of the story: Think the problem out for yourself. It's your life, paperwork does not keep you from dying.

The correct procedure would be on the lines of this.

All personnel have an oxygen meter.
Two of the personnel survey all of the tank first with oxygen meters, wearing Breathing apparatus ready to be donned. Then work could be started.
All of the personnel should be carrying their own personal oxygen meter.

Moral of this story: Think for yourself. It's your life. Forget about the compensation culture, you're dead.

I realy am a sad bastard.

We would all be safer without the HSE regs. Get people thinking for themselves.

If you were to believe in an almighty being, this might be of use

A prayer for the stressed!

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work

12% on Monday

23% on Tuesday

40% on Wednesday

20% on Thursday

5% on Fridays

And help me to remember.....

When I am having a really bad day and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to fuck off!

Tilting at Windmills

Offshore wind turbines.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't profess to be an expert in this field, but I do have a few thoughts on the subject.

I've spent my whole career spent in the harsh environment that these edifices will have to be able to withstand. So I'm going to ask the proponents of these super duper energy saving devices, to convince me that they are cost effective.

Question 1

What are you going to build them on? If you are going to build them off the Thames estuary, which is mainly made up of sand, have you thought about the foundations that will be needed?

Question 2 (linked to Q1)

Given the weather in the North sea, how long will it take you to put in those foundations?

Question 3

What materials are you going to use in the construction of these turbines, given the harsh environment that they will be subjected to?

Question 4

If you have built them, how much is it going to cost to maintain them? Have you factored in the cost of surveying them, changing the turbine bearings, probably every 4 years, insulation resistance, etc. These costs have to be factored in to make the concept viable.

Question 5

What voltage are they going to produce? Anything less than 6.6kV would be inneficient. We go back to environment issues here. 6.6kV hates a sea water environment. The slightest touch of salt water, into the internal workings will destroy the generator. (Anyone near by is extremely dead as well)

Question 6

Given that they only produce energy for 30% of the time. How are they justified?

Question 6. No, a demand

All you green, turbine wankers must be forced to have a 200 ft wind turbine built in your back garden. And yes, this means you, George Monbiot, and Jonathan Porritt. Don't hide from your responsibilty. Apart from the fact that they are a complete eyesore and a blot on the landscape, and they kill off the birdlife, how can you refuse? Put your money where your political mouth is.

If you had any sense, you would have seen through this idiocy, and opted for nuclear. But then you wish to take us back to the middle ages.

Question 7 Am I being to stupid?

You tell me

And as an aside. I live in the real world of marine engineering. If you fuck up, you drown.

Flying squirrels

Old movie, but still amusing



I suppose I will now be on the animals' rights hit list. Oh well.