CACC

I was just watching the local news on the idiot box tonight and note that they are still giving undue prominence to the anti fracking protestors at Balcombe in Sussex. Now I know that quite a few of those protestors are from a group called The Campaign Against Climate Change (CACC).  As far as I can see this group are made up from left wing sociologists, green party activists, and naive idiots who believe that only they know what's best.

When you visit their site and read their "Who we are" page, you find, shock horror, that the most of them have little or no science training (WTF is a PGSE in Science, when it's at home?)
Of course though, all the guardian readers that flock to this blog  (Spits) will be overjoyed to find the Honorary chairman is their very own, *drum roll*, George Monbiot. When you look at the rest it's a gaggle of a mediocrity of people who have jumped onto a band wagon, and don't realise the wheels are falling off fast.

I really despair when I see people like this who don't seem to inhabit the real world that the rest of us live in, being so bloody stupid. If they want to live in yurts, eat tofu, and die of the cold in the winter, then they may do so. What I want is an energy supply that is reliable, affordable, and relatively clean. By achieving that we will enable our kids, and grand kids to survive. If we don't innovate, we die.

(Don't fucking dare mention bird mincers or solar panels).



Climate twats

That’ll work then

Cheshire East council thinks that it can go it alone by imposing minimum pricing on booze.

CHESHIRE East Council looks set to go ahead with its plans to crack down on cheap booze despite the Government U-turn.

At the council’s cabinet meeting last month members agreed to endorse the principle of introducing a minimum unit price for alcohol – something David Cameron last year appeared keen on introducing nationally.

Cheshire East looks set to press ahead with its plans – despite the Government’s apparent change of heart earlier this month.

Cheshire East is designated by the “G” on the map below. Now if I had a supermarket in “E”, Kidsgrove, I’d be rubbing my hands with glee.

I’m seriously thinking of investing in a white van, and just sit over the boarder.

Fuckwits, the lot of them.

Driving abroad can be hazardous to your health

Just a selection of incredible traffic accidents in Russia. It would seem that the driving test is not very strict.

 

And I thought the M25 was bad……….

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ... 'HEBREWS'

How to Calm a Man

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.

The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason, and it scares me."

The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or goes to bed and falls asleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"

The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick...."

I’m so going to get it in the neck from my female relatives now.

My Civic duty done.

An E Mail I sent today.

Dear Lingfield Parish Council.

It would  seem you have a problem of the rodent variety. Two weeks ago whilst my grandson and I were feeding your ducks, I became aware of something that appeared not quite right.

At the time I was seated on the golden jubilee bench (How do I know that? Because it's got a plaque on it), when out of the corner of my eye I spotted something unusual.

On my right, coming from the direction of the Co-Op, something was scuttling at speed towards us. My first thought was that it was a Kamikaze duck attempting a flanking movement to snatch our bread. It was not till the last moment I realised this "Duck" had a long narrow tail, as it took a sharp left turn next to the bench and leapt into the bush behind.

Ratty. The Sequel.

Today I saw, what I presume was the same animal of a rodent persuasion, leaping out of the bush into the green rubbish bin adjacent to the bench. As I approached it removed itself by jumping back into the bush. My Grandson and I, being professional cowards moved to the other bench. Also I didn't want ratty to pounce on my expensive Magnum ice cream.

I hope this E-mail is of use to you.

Regards

A Member of Lingfield another parish council.

PS. Do I now qualify for David Cameron’s “Big Society”?

*Preens*

Warm enough?

The temperature peeked at 33 deg C in my neck of the woods today. My thermometer is still indicating 30 deg C now.

Of course it won’t stay like that will it?

My model says so.

Clever.

I just caught a Tesco advert on the idiot box tonight. In the advert they proudly boast that if you find that their product is more costly in their store rather than at Sainsburys, Asda, or Morrisons, they’ll give you a coupon for redemption once you pass through the checkout.

Sounds good on the surface doesn’t it?

The customer of course is going to think to themselves that Tesco is being wonderfully philanthropic and will return the following week to redeem their voucher.

All Tesco has to do is add a couple of pence on dietary staples such as bread, milk, cornflakes, whiskey, water, tea, coffee, whiskey, and butter, etc, each week. Lo and behold, their customer base is secure at no extra cost to them.

Simples

Going on the tube?

 

Hahahahahhaha

A mean green and his turbine machine.

When Stephen Munday spent £20,000 on a wind turbine to generate electricity for his home, he was proud to be doing his bit for the environment.

He got planning permission and put up the 40ft device two years ago, making sure he stuck to strict noise level limits.

But neighbours still complained that the sound was annoying - and now the local council has ordered him to switch it off.

Which makes me wonder how the big turbine owners can state that theirs are noise free?

While I admire his thriftyness I did notice in the article that he placed it, it would seem, as far away from his house as was possible. Necessitating that it would be closer to his neighbours. If he had placed it next to his house then it wouldn’t have been a problem I expect.

Maybe I’m being too mean to Mr Munday.