The Filthy Engineer school of mathematics

 

Apparently it’s……..

World whisky day!!!!!!!

I’ll drink to that.

Doctors and drinking

I have just been reading an article in The Telegraph about a proposal from manadarins in the Home Office to pay Doctors to quiz patients about their alcohol consumption.

After reading the article, and thinking for myself that it was a stupid idea. my eye drifted down to the comments section. I changed my mind when I read one of the comments.

anneallan

Today 08:18 AM

Come to an arrangement with your GP; admit to being a dipso if he'll share the proceeds of his bonus.  If he cuts up rough, threaten to go on the wagon.

Made me smile.

Think of the Cheeldren

I received an Email yesterday from a nanny fussbucket site that is blaming smokers for killing the newborn. Now I quite like receiving E mails, but when I receive drivel like that then I feel the need to reply.

In the Email the sender implied that smokers were mass killers of our youth. In it she attempts to state ten truths. Here they are:

1. Smelly baby – Probably the least important reason but still applicable; babies are known for smelling so clean and fresh. The smell of cigarettes is potent, and clings to anything and everything it touches. You really don’t want your baby to smell like an ashtray do you?
2. Fussy babies – It has been shown that infants do not do well in a smoke filled environment, and some studies have even correlated second hand smoke to a higher incidence of crankiness in babies. The smoke can irritate their lungs and eyes and make them uncomfortable.
3. Asthma – Studies confirm that children raised around smokers have a higher incidence of asthma than those raised in environments with cleaner air. Also, children who are exposed to secondhand smoke may have more frequent and more severe asthma attacks.
4. Poisons – Do you really want your baby breathing in all of those poisons? The fact is that secondhand smoke is full of irritants and chemicals that are harmful to the lungs. These chemicals include formaldehyde, arsenic, benzene, and vinyl chloride among others. Since babies have such small and delicate lungs that are still in the process of developing they are more vulnerable to the ill effects of these poisons.
5. Cancer – Research shows that second hand smoke can be just as harmful as smoking. In some cases, people who never smoked but were around smokers came down with cancer while the smoker remained relatively healthy. Secondhand smoke is a known human carcinogen containing a plethora of carcinogenic chemicals; chemicals your baby does not need to be breathing.
6. Lung damage – Recent studies reveal that babies who are subjected to secondhand smoke incur damage to their developing lungs which are quite possibly permanent damages. Their lung function decreases which can make them more susceptible to respiratory problems
7. Ear infections – The adverse effects aren’t limited to the lungs; in fact inhalation of secondhand smoke can cause fluid buildup in the ears resulting in ear infections.
8. Bronchitis – This is another respiratory issue that is seen more frequently in babies exposed to secondhand smoke.
9. Pneumonia – Babies breathing in smoke are more likely to come down with pneumonia than those in a clean air environment.
10. SIDS – One of the most frightening reasons to keep baby out of a smoke filled environment is that infants exposed to secondhand smoke are up to four times more likely to die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

My reply:

1. Never smelt a dirty nappy?

2. Really. I'd just love to have that study to peruse. If you blow smoke in my eyes I would be cranky.

3. This one takes the biscuit. Smoking prevalence has fallen whilst Asthma levels have increased. The cause now being considered is excessive cleanliness in the infant's formative months.

4. It's the dose that's important. Next you'll be purporting that the wiff of SHS will kill instantly.

5. So you don't think that pushing your baby within feet of a car exhaust  is unsafe? You've actually stated that smokers are less likely to get cancer. Strange reasoning.

6. I'd like you to back up that comment with a link to that study. I can't find one that gives empirical evidence that your assertion is correct.

7.That little gem has never been proved.

8.Anyone can catch Bronchitis. I had repeated Bronchitis when I was young. My parents didn't smoke.

9.State your source for that assertion.

10. No-one yet knows what causes SID. The rate in the UK is static at about 300 per year. You set the cause of investigative science back to the days of necromancy. 

If you are going to write uninformed drivel like this and post it on my blog, then at least research the facts. If you wish, I can supply links that will give you the facts. I don't deal in populist hearsay.

So you think our Government runs the country.

Well think again. Why do you think “Call Me Dave” has done all those U turns? It’s our masters in the EU who are really calling the shots.

H/T to Grandad

A modern fairy tale

CANCEL YOUR CREDIT CARD BEFORE YOU DIE ....... JUST PRICELESS

 

Reported in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle U.K. recently:

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!

And so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past September, and the bank billed her in October and November for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then in December added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.

The balance that had been £0.00, now is somewhere around £60.00.

A family member placed a call to the **** Bank:

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you that my grandma died in  September.'

Bank: 'But the account was never closed and so the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to your collections  section.'

Bank: Since it is two months over due, it already has been.'

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Bank: 'Either report her account to the Frauds Department or report her to The Credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Bank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you . . The part  about her being dead?'

Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died in September.'

Bank: 'But the account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Bank: (Stammer) 'Are you her solicitor?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her grandson'

Bank: 'Could you fax us a  death certificate?'

Family Member: 'Sure.' ( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

Bank: 'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I  can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her.  I don't think she will care.'

Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'

Family Member: Would you like her new billing address?'

Bank: 'That would help.'

Family Member: ' Plot 1049.' Heaton Cemetary, Heaton Road , Newcastle upon Tyne

Bank: 'But, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'Well, what the f***   do you do, with dead people on your planet?'

He’s got talent

Now I don’t watch much on the telebox but my god, he’s  got an outstanding voice. And he’s only seventeen. Mrs FE dragged me in to listen. I’m glad I did.

Bloody hell

A budding Pavarotti in the making.

Beware the killer clocks.

You’re going to die on Monday or Tuesday. If you thought smoking, drinking, obesity, salt, sugar, cars, shipwrecks, asteroids falling on you, were bad. Then think again.

Experts say the move is linked with a ten per cent leap in the risk of having a heart attack come Monday or Tuesday morning.

And what is this grave threat you ask?

I tell you. Don’t FFS put your clocks forward tonight.

“The Monday and Tuesday after moving the clocks ahead one hour in March is associated with a ten percent increase in the risk of having a heart attack," he confirms. "The opposite is true when falling back in October. This risk decreases by about ten percent."

Although clocks move back on a Sunday morning – this year on 25 March – the rate of heart attacks doesn’t peak then because most people have a lie-in and it “doesn’t require an abrupt schedule change”.

But on Monday and Tuesday, when people tend rise earlier to go to work, heart attack risk peaks.

It would seem that you can get funding for anything today.

It’s nice to be ahead

Of my local rag.

It seems that they’ve only now cottoned on to the fact that the praised wind turbines Bird Mincers, are failing off the coast of Kent.

WIND turbines whirring off the Whitstable coast are getting wobbly and need welding work, operator Vattenfall has admitted.

The news was leaked after a closed-doors meeting between the Kentish Flats operator and Whitstable Harbour Board.

I wrote about this a year ago.

It’s a good thing that it’s not costing the taxpayer though.

Workers will need to ship 180 large steel brackets from the harbour out to the turbines to shore them up – with six of the metre-tall steel plates being welded to the base of each machine.

But the company insists there is no risk to man nor beast – and added that the Vestas-made turbines are being repaired for free as they are still in their warranty period.

And this is not the first failure. Oh Noes.

The gearboxes on all the turbines were replaced in 2008 after a design fault was discovered.

The question is.will they live up to expectations.

The £105 million wind farm, which went online in September 2005, is designed to operate for 20 years.

That’s two major faults in the first third of their operating life. What could happen in the next third? Scour?