What am I discussing here?

• Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
• Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
• Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
• DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
• Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
• Contributes to soil erosion.
• Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
• Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
• Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
• Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
• Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
• Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Bloody dangerous stuff, in my mind.

A hint

Answers on a post card by Email will be judged on their merit.

Naughty

You have been warned. Kiddywinks. Be good.

I did not know this...

Public service broadcast

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.

When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart
problems.

When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Warn all your friends.

The BBC must go.

Now I’ve long believed that the BBC has been a left leaning organisation, that is incapable of looking outside of it’s own self serving “bubble”.

I have written about scare stories before, and most have them have been hyped up by the BBC using unreliable science. Take one example. The BSE scare. We were led to believe night after night on our compulsory levied channel, that thousands were going to die as it mutated into CJD in the population. In fact about a hundred died.

This brings me on to one of the longest BBC scandals. Anthropogenic global warming or climate change as it is now called. (Most probably name changed as the climate has cooled over the last decade).

in Today’s Daily Mail Christopher Booker briefly summarises how the BBC has patently colluded in perpetuating the dodgy science. His article can be found here. Just read the article and then maybe you’ll like to read his paper written for the Global Warming Policy Foundation.

His article for the GWPF is really eye opening (You need some time and a few beers). It shows up the BBC for a left leaning biased inward looking organisation that in my opinion is not worth the money we pay for.

The whole article can be found HERE in PDF format. It really is an eye opener.

On a lighter note, (As in flames) it would seem that Scottish wind turbines don’t like wind.

History of Europe

 

Is Richard Black having second thoughts?

just in case you don’t know who Richard Black is. He’s the BBC’s environmental correspondent who keeps banging on about how we’re all doomed if we don’t bow down to the great God, “Climate change”.

Maybe, just a slight niggle that something might not be true in the climate change scenario. Here he opines.

Grand statements about climate change impacts are all very well for scientists - a global average temperature rise of so many degrees Celsius, a global change in precipitation of such-and-such percent.

HERE

His closing remarks are quite illuminating.

The Met Office team explained that the impacts of melting glaciers were not included in their modelling - and that's set to be a serious issue not only in Peru but the much more populous nations around the Himalayas.

When quizzed about these figures, one of the Met Office scientists said that many other projections were based on single computer models.

Putting the range of uncertainty in the public domain from this large suite of models was, she said, "intellectually honest".

Fair enough. But the exercise also surely gives you an insight into the limits of current modelling when the various models, each of them supposed to be "state-of-the-art", reach such divergent conclusions.

As a policymaker, as a business leader, as a citizen, would you make decisions on the basis of these models? (My embolden).

The start of a damascene conversion?

The Winner is of X Factor is…………………

I don’t watch it but found this little gem of a picture. The screen shot is from Twitter

Mmmm. It’s definitely on the HMV website. HERE

UPDATE: It now appears to have been removed.

More Clarkson

Statements he’s made in the past. Just thought I’d give the lefty, green, twitterers , something else to froth about.

1. “I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”

2. [On the Porsche Boxster] “It couldn’t pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.”

3. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.”

4. “I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.”

5. “Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”

6. “Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what… being stabbed?”

7. [On Detroit] “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.”

8. “Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.”

9. [On the Renault Clio V6] “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”

10. [On the Enzo Ferrari] “I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.”

11. [On the Porsche Cayenne] “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”

12. “The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.”

13. “Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”

14. “If you were to buy a BMW 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.”

15. “That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.”

16. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] “The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

17. [On the Alfa Romeo Brera] “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

18. “A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”

19. “This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!’”

20. “In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”

21. [On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG] “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”

22. “I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.”

23. “Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.”

24. “Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”

25. “I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”

Engineering as it used to be–part 7.

I left my reader (Hi Christopher) some months ago, hanging on with bated breath. Here is the next episode in the saga of engineering and debauchery at it’s finest. (I might just leave out most of the engineering bit).*

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.

For those of a non technical bent, look away now.

On sailing from Singapore, which was a relief because my funds were severely in the red, we set off for a visit to the land of the rising sun. Japan.

What I was not expecting was that my boss had volunteered me to do an exchange with one of the accompanying warships (I’m showing my age here. It was a “Battle” class destroyer). I would transfer over in exchange for one of their midshipmen. Of course this would be done at sea whilst we were underway, by means of a jackstay transfer.

This involved passing a rope between the two ships travelling at speed and then being hauled across by a bunch of tossers who thought nothing of relaxing the jackstay enough to allow yours truly to be partially immersed in the South China Sea. Bastards. (I can say that cos it’s my blog). These days transfers are usually carried out by helicopter as H&S has virally infected our armed forces.(I’m surprised that they are even allowed to shoot the Taliban).

One thing that never ceases to amaze me was their choice of sleeping quarters for me. A camp bed in the radio room. On an RFA vessel the only people permitted entrance were those that had Top Secret clearance or above and positively vetted, (it was another 15 years before I obtained that level of clearance, due to the fact that I had to work round those big nasty things that went bang and emitted a large mushroom cloud).

Next came disillusionment. Being a callow youth and believing everything I’d been told, I thought that I would live the life of a naval officer. Swanning around, practicing a plummy accent, and drinking copious quantities of pink gin in the wardroom (Bar).

Not so. I was to attend the midnight to four watch in the boiler room. Bugger. A quick briefing ensued, where it was explained to TFE that naval boiler rooms had a different set of rules. Let me explain. In the RFA they had a perfectly reasonable way of getting air into the boilers to aid combustion of the fuel. You use a fan to feed air directly into the furnace. Made sense to me. Not so in Her Majesty’s Royal navy.

Their idea was to pressurise the entire boiler room. As explained to me, if I was to enter the boiler room and endanger this pressurisation, the flames in the furnace would leap out and engulf all.

So the boiler room had an airlock system that you had to enter by. With a safety feature being that the outer door had a switch that turned on a light in the airlock. When this light illuminated then it was safe to enter the boiler room.

Ten to midnight loomed. After struggling to find my way I arrived at the first door and opened it with trepidation. Not knowing my way around, for all I knew, I might have found an outside toilet. The next paragraph shows that I may have needed one.

I’m in the airlock. I close the outer door. Oh fuck, I’m still in pitch darkness. Try again. Nope. (Twenty times later), Expecting to be engulfed by the fires of hell, I inch open the inner door. To my surprise there was no agonising flaming death.

All  I found was that the boiler room crew (laughing hysterically I saw), had deliberately unscrewed the light bulb. Bastards.

An interesting aside. The following day I was informed that I’d be  on one of the dog watches. I was somewhat taken aback by that statement. Yes, my last ship had a cat. But the navy kept dogs onboard? That really intrigued me. Was I to spend the time cleaning out the kennels of attack alsatians used to repel boarders, or were they Officers’ pets? I was wrong. Oh well.

*Fooled you. this post was always going to be about the engineering (Or lack of it). Next post. Japan.

One day i might even let you know about my bit part as a submariner. That was fun. Especially the toilets.

Now if I was Jeremy Clarkson I might have said this…..

For those of a politically correct persuasion. Look away now. I expect you’ve read the warning sign in the top left hand corner of the Blog. In case you missed it, here it is again.

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine check-up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the charity shop to get all of her clothes back.

At the Senior Citizens Centre they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Afro-Caribbean is not the correct answer either.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping centre, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache."

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk: "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard.

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Feel suitably offended now.