That advert

Doing the rounds is this

Be afraid, very afraid

I wonder if the boy wonder has seen this? If he hasn’t then he’s incompetent, or at the very worst, incapable  of running this country. Call me Dave needs to grow a pair, and front up against this attack on our  economy. And to think I was a lifelong conservative.

It’s in german but it is subtitled.

Thanks to Subrosa for jogging my memory on this

It’s looking bad for Christmas

Stock markets have responded positively to news that Toyland’s Prime Minister Santo Nicalosi, better known as Santa Claus, or Sugar Daddy Christmas to his closest female admirers, is to step down after arranging a final delivery of toys for December.

Leading analyst Jeremy Warner said that without the implementation of severe austerity measures, including the adoption of a payment-based business model which would face severe competition from the likes of Amazon, Toyland would default on its debts and this could lead to a world economic catastrophe far more severe than the 2008 banking crisis.

‘In recent years, Toyland has lived way beyond its means as it struggled to deliver ever more exotic presents free of charge to children in Europe and North America,’ said Warner. ‘It no longer produces most of the toys that are delivered and has had increasingly to rely on cheap goods and credit from China and Southeast Asia.’

Toyland’s manufacturing base is no longer a major employer but service sector employees will be hit hard by austerity measures. ‘I’m due to retire at 35 on full salary next year, said a party facilitator elf. Suddenly there will be no jobs and no pensions. I suppose I’ll have to emigrate, but I was shocked to learn that my skills set only attracts the minimum wage in other countries, even with a Mickey Mouse degree. I might as well work tables or behind a bar.’

Lenders are expected to take a significant haircut as Toyland reschedules its debts after the IMF, ECB and Germany’s Bundesbank refused a euro bailout. However, unlike Never Never Land, Toyland is expected to honour its obligations, although repayments will be redenominated in Monopoly money.

More than one banker has said a haircut is the least Santa Claus can expect if he is caught, saying the revenge shaving won’t stop at ‘that manky beard’ or the Movember ‘tache. In addition, after he steps down, Claus will no longer be afforded criminal immunity against charges of creeping into millions of children’s bedrooms at night.

Shamelessly nicked from News biscuit

Lest we forget

It’s that day. Take just two minutes to think about those who have paid the ultimate price.

Those notes.

Yesterday as you may recall I sent a FOI request to my local PCT. I received a reply today (That’s quick), stating that they are treating it under the data Protection Act instead. I suppose it is relevant under the circumstances, It’s reproduced here for your edification.

Hello xxxx

I can confim that we have received your request. 

This request is a request under the DPA 1998 not a Freedom of information act as you are asking for personal information about which you are the subject of.

We will begin processing your request and will be in touch for the relevant Identity required.  

kind regards

Pam

What I find irksome is that I took the trouble to write a formal letter and received an informal letter back. Notwithstanding that she addressed me by my Christian name which she spelt wrongly, she could have at least run the spellchecker through the E mail (Confim?).

Maybe it’s just me being pedantic, but a reply should be in the same vein, in my opinion. Not a very professional stance for a public servant.

I’m sure as well that they could have replied under the FOIA, however that only gives them 20 days, where as the DPA gives them 40 days.

I really must take off my tinfoil hat.

Now I would have said something

Even if it was just, “Oh shit, we’re doomed”

People on board the lunchtime Exeter to Newcastle service saw the wheel break off as the landing gear retracted but ‘did not inform the cabin crew’.

Is it past the watershed yet?

Then again, who cares?

Topless Skydiving

Shamelessly nicked from max

Thanks to Joe Public for pointing me to it.

Survivors

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.

She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.

It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.

Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.

 

 

 

So, they buried Susie.

Where are my notes?

A couple of weeks ago I rang my surgery to obtain an appointment with my Doctor. Only to be informed that I had moved away and my notes had been requested by another practice. Which I had not

So today I've just E mailed this to my local primary care trust:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Two weeks ago I rang my practice to arrange a medical appointment. However to my amazement I was informed that I was no longer registered with the practice. The practice manager intimated to me that I had moved out of the area, and therefore my medical notes had been asked for by WKPCT, to be forwarded on to the practice that had requested them. This was as long ago as late 2006.

This came as some surprise to me as I have lived in the West Kent area for some 55 years, and been registered with the practice for at least 25 years. I have never moved out of the area in this time.

Please supply me with the following information under a Freedom Of Information request.

1.  Which practice requested my medical notes in the latter part of 2006?

2.  Were any checks carried out to ascertain that this was a legitimate request for this sensitive information?

3.  Where have the documents been held since 2006?

4.  Where are these important documents now?
Yours faithfully

The Filthy Engineer

I wonder what the reply will be?

Mature Nursery Rhymes

 

Nursery Rhymes
Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.