Buckle up

The National Roads Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt.
Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.
Correct installation is illustrated below.......

Love lost in the Computer age.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a
distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed, Desperate
...................................................
Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as
designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

Dedicated to Lizi, Kat, & Chris.

Hospital food.

 

A Blogger spent time in the NHS for a debilitating bone disease and found Hospital food, as you would never like to have to eat.

Traction man on channel 4.

Here’s his Site. Just read through it to be appalled.

When will he admit defeat?

The map below purports to show who controls the various areas of Libya. I don’t know how true it is, but I would suggest El Presidente gets the hell out of Dodge, if he wishes to stay alive.

 

H/T to the captain for this.

That man in Libya.

Well everyone else has posted it.

Bahrain Grand Prix

Sod you, Angry Exile. That’s another ruined keyboard.

Don’t eat or drink anything. It’ll kill you.

What is it with these so called health experts? Why can’t they leave us alone?

So how much red meat CAN we eat?

Latest warning suggests too much will cause cancer.

Adults will be advised to eat no more than 500g a week –the equivalent of just three rashers of bacon a day. And.

A group of leading doctors will today brand ministers’ strategy for tackling Britain’s booze culture ‘inconsequential’ and blame ministers for being ‘too close’ to the drinks industry.

And even more doom mongering.

But the bitter truth is that a small bottle of flavoured water can contain as much sugar as a plate of Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

The most popular brand, Volvic’s Touch of Fruit in lemon and lime, has 27.5g of sugar in its standard 500ml bottle – equivalent to almost seven teaspoons.

What'’s more, the articles were all in the same paper. Can’t we have a bit less of  the “We’re all going to die”, for a change?

I wonder if I can retreat behind a paywall?

Sunday singing.

H/T to Sister Eva Longoria at the raccoon’s place.

Just click on the link in the frame.

Will we see change?

Now the the American house of representatives has passed a resolution to stop funding the IPCC, will we see anything like it happening in the UK and Europe? I very much doubt it in the near future, as our coalition has a) vested interests, and b) they’re to spineless to admit they’re wrong in backing the wrong horse in the race to appease the neo left greenies that inhabit the Libdems.

I really despair when I read about how normal everyday citizens are suckered into spending vast amounts of their hard earned cash in installing green energy projects, which will, in the end of the day, leave them wishing that they had never been so stupid in the first place. Yes by all means install a solar panel on your roof, bur look into the costs you’ll incur in keeping it in working order.

I wrote a piece last year that used the government stats, and my simple engineering  expertise showed that after twenty years you would barely break even.

It’s up to you. Go green. Go broke. Just don’t expect me to pay for your mistakes.

מאפרה רחוב

Someone googled that. This is what they were looking for I presume when they turned up on here.

The Greek smoking ban post I put up last August.