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Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Phone fun

At least once a week I’m cold called on the phone by companies trying to get me to install solar panels on my roof. I usually let them waste their time giving their spiel, as it is just about the length of time it takes to boil the kettle and make a mug of coffee.

Of course then I ask innocent sounding questions such as these:

1.  How much will it cost me?

2. Is the equipment guaranteed for at least the life you have quoted me? And will you replace failing equipment for free?

3. What efficiency can be expected near the end of it’s life?

4. Can you guarantee the current rate of feed in Tariff?

5. Have you a free cleaning programme?

6. Who will De-install the equipment at the end of it’s life.

7. What is the life expectancy of the equipment anyway?


Strangely they all seem to hang up on me. I wonder why?


  1. Great list of questions FE.

    If the canvasser is female, you could also enquire about her underwear, and, bed-time activities. It's cheaper than using one of those sex-lines, and, it's their phone-bill not yours that gets charged!

  2. 8. How much the basic tariff is going to be increased by in order to pay for these useless gimmicks...

  3. Sometimes I tell them that the doorbell has just rung and I'll be back in a minute. Then I just go and watch TV or read a book for ten minutes.


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