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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

The consequences of getting old

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,   I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I head towards the garage, I notice mail on the hall table that I received from the post man earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the recycling box under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the recycling first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the letterbox when I take out the recycling paper anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table, And notice that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the cup of coffee I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coffee aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup.
As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye - the flowers need water.
I put the coffee on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I put the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I put the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed
The bills aren't paid
There is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.
I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....


  1. Sounds ike you've been smoking the wacky baccy

  2. Captain Haddock31 May 2011 at 19:03

    You can probably get an EU grant for that FE ..

  3. Now where was I supposed to be going?

  4. "Now where was I supposed to be going?"

    It's worse than you thought FE.

    It's A.A.A.A.D.D - Alzheimer's Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.


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