No. I’m not going to bother you with the comprehensive spending review. This is far more serious.
Today I was coerced into transferring a considerable amount of money into a solicitor’s bank account. This solicitor is acting as an intermediary, for a shadowy couple who appear out of the shadows every so often. This is not the first time I’ve had dealings with these people. They’ve even followed me abroad in pursuance of gain, in their quest to bankrupt me.
I’ve even been accosted in restaurants and pubs and forced to pay for their meals in order to get them off my back. How much more can a man stand?
I’ve even been forced to lock money into a bank account for three years in order that they can extract the maximum out of me.
At this time I would hope that my readers have now phoned The Police, Social Services, The Vice Squad, Their Local Diversity Outreach co-coordinator, Gay Lesbian Transgender Representative, (What ever floats your boat) etc. In order to help FE from these criminals.
Stop that dialling. NOW.
Saint FE has actually been trying to get the Eldest Daughter and her Fiancée onto the housing ladder. But my God the hoops you have to go through.
The end is Nigh. Hopefully.
It won't be the end of it. The new house will need furnishing. Then it will need maintaining. Then there might be extra mouths to feed. It never ends!
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