Dear Santa

Could I have the following?

1) A sit on snowplough. I'm really pissed off, digging my drive out each morning.

2) A money printing machine. I'll need it in the new year. If the Government can have one, why can't I?

3) A two year old. My wife has trouble programming the sky box to record. (And NO, I'm not a paedophile).

4) One of your Reindeer to butcher, as I might not be able to collect the Turkey if the snow continues. Surely you don't need all of them?

5) Inspiration in the new year. Blogging is oh so difficult.

6) Al Gore's head on a plate. (To go with the Reindeer steaks).

7) If you pass Leg Iron's place first. Could you nick all his single malts and drop them off here?

8) Oh and can I have that Partridge in that pear tree? Never had partridge.

Thankyou, you fat git

Yours

FE

Oh, and some Carbon credits would be nice.