Upgrading

 

I’m babysitting all day so posting will be light. I’m just taking the opportunity to make a few essential upgrades to my laptop.

Fifty shades of grey? Err No.

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his girlfriend moved forwards then backwards......forwards then backwards......back and forth.........back and forth........in and out.........in and out.

Her heart was now pounding faster, her face flushed as she moaned, softly at first........then she began to groan louder! Finally.....totally exhausted she let out an almighty scream!!!

"Ok, Ok! I can't park the f**kin car! You do it you smug ba**ard!!"

My Smartphone

It has a good battery life as long as you don’t use the flash.

The humble Blogger

Donna Laframboise pens an interesting article about how the sceptical Blogger will eventually defeat the the vastly wealthy big guns of AGW proponents.

Of course the AGW’s spread disinformation about us sceptical bloggers because they think that we are the same as them.

Another day, another smarmy accusation that [click each word for a separate example] people who are skeptical of climate change are being funded by a shadowy conspiracy connected in one manner or another to big oil, big coal, big tobacco or – horror of horrors – right-wing think tanks.

However she rightly points out that your humble bloggers against the premise of AGW, are mostly self funded. operating without any outside support.

Compare and contrast to how independent individuals of utterly modest means from all over the world currently behave. They sign up to a service like Blogger.com (which is owned by Google) and, within a few hours at most, for no cost whatsoever, have launched themselves as a blogger. Alternatively, for well under $10 in hosting fees a month, they can publish their own website.

For no money, therefore, climate skeptics in the early 21st century are in a position to theoretically communicate online with as many people as is Greenpeace. From their basements and their attics, in often non-trendy geographical locations, it isn’t their funding that matters – it’s their skill sets.

In that last sentence she sums up with who these dastardly bloggers are.

In my case I was a marine engineer for 43 years. Over that time as an engineer I learnt to deal in hard facts. If I repaired machinery, I had to make sure I did it correctly. If someone had observed my work practise and computer modelled it, with the result that I had carried out the work with a 90% chance of the machinery working I would probably have hit him.

If you’re on a ship, you have to get it right, not 90% right. People die with that sort of reasoning.

Us sceptical bloggers are I think like a swarm of bees with no queen. You can swat one but the others will sting you.

Go on read her http://nofrakkingconsensus.com/2010/02/22/independent-bloggers-vs-corporate-environmentalists/whole article.

I'll Trust That One Other Dentist, Thanks...

Just a thought.

The Blonde Pilot..

This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead”. “And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud  and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground.  I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem”.

'Now, just take a deep breath.  Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

She says,  "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... 

"Repeat after me:   Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ...."

If this is true…..

Then Obama is toast.

American drones were in the skies above the U.S. consulate in Benghazi as the deadly attack that killed ambassador Christopher Stevens unfolded, it has been revealed.

Defense department officials considered sending troops in to rescue the ambassador and staff, according to CBS News, but ultimately decided not to .

They would haven been able to watch the attack on-screen as it unfolded.

And other paragraphs are even more damning.

The revelations came a day after it emerged that U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens repeatedly pleaded with the State Department to ramp up his security team in Libya -- requests that the Pentagon ultimately denied -- in the weeks, days and hours leading up to the terrorist attack that killed him and three other Americans, newly released cables have revealed.

And

The letter claims that Obama had a political motivation in rejecting Stevens' security requests, since the president was eager to show improving conditions in Libya after the U.S.-led international operation that toppled Libya dictator Moamar Gadhafi.

It just goes to show that Obama was more interested in his presidential campaign than in actually protecting his countrymen. It’s an indictment of the new political class in the modern day. All they they seek is the holding of high office. No thought of serving their country.

Of course we have the same self serving clique in the UK, whether they be Cameron, Clegg, or Milliband. All they can see, is the vision of crossing the threshold into No.10 and nothing more.

I want to see more than “soundbite” politics. I want to see a real conviction politician running our country. The problem I see is that these Westminster bubble class and the MSM really aren’t attuned to the reality that is suffered by the population as a whole.

We need a Prime Minister that refuses to listen to his advisors’ thought for the day, and actually spends some time thinking about it. Then have the guts to say “That’s shite”, You’re fired” 

Sadly I thing I’ll be dead before I see it happen.   

DONATIONS. Give generously.

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the M25. Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped all of our MP’s during a sitting of parliament, and they're asking for a £100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire.

We are going from car to car collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.

The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."

Ring Ring.

The sound of my house phone calling me. A quick look at the number on the screen, and I ignored it as it was not a number I recognised. I surmised it was probably someone trying to sell me double glazing/loft insulation/tell me I had £3670 of miss sold PPI/or I could benefit from solar panels. (Pick your choice).

A few seconds later my mobile rang.

Me: “Hellooooow?”

Caller: “Hi favourite Uncle, This is your favourite Niece”

Me: “Bugger off. I haven’t got one”

Caller: “Yes you have. It’s me ****”. (name obscured to protect you from the spawn of satan).

Me: “Oh hi ****”.

****: “Dear favourite Uncle (suspicion is starting to set in), can I pretty please, come up and see you on saturday?”

Me: “Oh that would be fine, look forward to seeing you”. What time will you be up”.

****: Afternoon.

Me: Ok. See you then.

****: “Can you do me a little favour”?

I now realise I’m about to be sucker punched.

Me: “And what would that be?

****: “Would it be possible that you could take me to Gatwick on Sunday”?

Me: “What time”?

****: “6.30”

Me: “ That’ll be fine. We can have lunch and then have plenty of time to get there.

****: “No dear Uncle, 6.30 in the morning.”

Me: “That’s Ok we can get there in plenty of time if we leave here at six”

****: “No dear favourite Uncle, the flight leaves at 0630. I need to be there at 0430” .

Me:  (realising the horror of it, and having been  played like a pike in a pond) . Meekly replies, “OK”.

The likely outcome:

The Devil’s spawn Favourite Niece will spend Saturday night drinking copious quantities of wine on Saturday night with Mrs FE with the consequence that there will be a flat panic when the devil’s spawn Niece is having to be literally tipped out of bed late in order to have a chance of catching her flight.

The upshot is, in the near future, you will read about a driver who was banned from driving for three years for overtaking a police car on the M23, being clocked at 143 MPH.

Oh and she want’s me to pick her up on her return.

****. If you are reading this. Could I be jesting? Or not?

Do reply if you read this post.

The answer is in the tags.

can't afford the petrol?