Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or beyond!

 

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run  -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9  AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits  as a challenge.*

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15.Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more  accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

* Actually I do.

Logical?

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

Student: "OK. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as they are. If you can't give me the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A".

Professor: "Hmmmm, alright. So what’s the question?"

Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? "

The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can’t get the answer. So finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? "

To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment) ,all the students immediately raise their hands.

"All right" says the professor, and asks his favourite student to answer.

"It's quite easy, sir" says the student. "You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A", which is neither legal nor logical !"  

FrackNation

This is a film that is hoped to be made espousing the benefits of Shale gas which the green groups are desperately trying to prevent from happening.

In fact because Fracking is conducted at very deep levels, it should be no cause for concern as the technology has advanced in leaps and bounds since it’s inception.

Here’s a simple clip of the process.

If we were to embrace this technology in the UK we would most certainly see, in the medium term, a reduction in our household energy bills. There would be no need to pay expensive and ludicrous green energy tariffs to subsidise wind turbines bird mincers and photo voltaic panels.

Explained here.

Does Green thinking need a red light?

We few who are drowned out by the Big Green taxpayer funded lobby groups such as the WWF and the IPCC need to publicise that there is more to saving the planet than windfarms and useless PV panels. Cheap energy has the ability to lift millions out of poverty ridden lifestyles.

That’s why this film needs to be made. Maybe it’s just a pinprick. But if you do nothing, (And I’m no way condemning you) then we are destined for a poorer world, where millions more will die. I’m also being selfish here in the fact that my gas bill in the last year has risen by 18%, partly due to the imposed green taxes levied on my bills. That would be fine, except I’m a pensioner that has seen his savings eroded by low interest rates and the effect of quantative  easing of the currency.

Go on. Chuck a couple of quid into this project

Apologies

Since I turned off the new word verification system to make it less burdensome for you lovely people out there to comment, I inadvertently caused a problem.

My blog is set up to send comments to my gmail  account. Unfortunately along with the newly acquired dose of spam it also relegated regular commenters to the spam folder as well.

So for now I’m going to turn back on the word verification and hope that it solves the problem.

1984

You really shouldn't have published that book Mr Orwell. The wankers in government are using it as a blueprint now.

We really are slipping into a total surveillance state. North Korea must be smiling.

International women’s day revisited

And if you like fluffy kittens watch to the end.

When’s International men’s day then?

You’re guilty even though you maybe innocent.

Ollie Cromwell, a blogger that has been trying to expose the somewhat dubious machinations of Bexley Council could use a little help. His blog has been a bit sweary at times but he is being attacked by the state apparatus for daring to question the politburo on Bexley council.  In his words:

I started this blog post a few days ago, and subsequently changed my mind about publishing it, for the simple reason that if I continued to write it I’d lose my temper and do something silly. Adorning the top of this post you will see two images. Look VERY closely at them for they are documented proof that freedom of speech and expression in this country is not only dead, it’s decomposing and leaving a stinking, rotting stench behind. A stench which I fear is spreading, rather fucking quickly. Let alone the lack of any sort of legitimate justice.

The original post was only going to be about the proposed restraining order that the CPS were applying for. Alas! Life she isn’t that simple, or nice really, she likes throwing more than one rotting c**t flap at you in one go. I’ll get to that bit in a minute, I just want to comment on the proposed restraining order. It’s not going to be a lengthy analysis, just important points that I want to make.

Now I don’t say here that this is the whole story, but having followed his blog for some time, I feel inclined to believe his side of the story.

If nothing else, just go over and read his story.

For background reading on Bexley councils antics go over to Malcolm’s blog for some measured background information.  

Why?

 

Sorry

To the good folks out there who read this blog in the wilderness of the rankings. I have three little rating boxes below any post. These are labelled (Fuck I’ve forgotten what they say. Hang on a minute I’ll be right back) Good, Fair, and Utter shite. My question is: I know I write Utter shite, why can’t you recognise it? Stop being so polite.

Then again maybe you feel sorry for a poor pensioner struggling to pay for his whisky and baccy bills whilst huddling around an open fire, whilst his once a week tin bath, warms slowly. (I made the open fire and tin bath up just to see if you have a sympathetic bone in your body. The whisky and baccy bit is more important ).

I must admit I tend to forget to look at the little boxy things (sorry to all those that have ticked them), as I use google reader to keep up with all the blogs that I read. This means that I rarely look at my actual Blog posts as you see them. In that case just label them all as “Utter Shite” just to teach me a lesson.

Your comments, on the other hand, are magically sent to me via the wonders of Email (Whatever that is?) and I do read these wondrous comments everyday. Often I will comment back, Sometimes not. (It’s a whisky thing I suspect). The purpose of this missive is to say thankyou for just reading this blog.

*fools*

Hands Off

Bugger off nanny