Football quiz

1. Who did Tom Hanks “privately” save?

2. What do bands call their performances?

Nope that’s it. You really shouldn’t  read the MSM.

Why I can’t go to hell..

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. 
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? 
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

So long suckers

A blinding white rapturous light and this blogger has……………………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bugger. He had the name spelled wrong. I’m back.

The Rapture

The rapture is definitely here.

I went to use a cash machine this morning. Before I’d got anywhere near the point of asking for money it decided that it was going to give me a £100 anyway.

Halleluhah

No m’Lud

Lord Neuberger, the Master of the Rolls, admitted that bloggers and users of social network sites such as Twitter would not necessarily be covered by court orders, even though some simply “peddle lies”.

But he rejected claims that the situation made injunctions futile because the internet had "by no means the same degree of intrusion into privacy as the story being emblazoned on the front pages of newspapers", which "people trust more”.

I’m afraid my “noble” lord, that you are living in the past. Newspapers across the board are experiencing lower sales year on year, whilst the social networking sites are increasing their volume of traffic. Even my humble blog has experienced an increase in traffic by seventeen times in one year. This year if I keep up enough quality blogging (Note to self: Don’t write shite), I would expect to double last years increase. Don’t forget mine is not an overtly political blog, I just occasionally enter  the political world as others write about it better than me.

My personal take on morality is if you are caught red-handed breaking laws, offending public decency, cheating on your spouse, then you deserve to by held to account. Just because you have vast financial resources at your disposal does not give you the right to more privacy than me.

Are we not supposed to be equal under the law?

Seems not.

How odd.

I never realised that RBS’s Group Resourcing Director was Susan Bor. Mind you this was the bank run by Sir Fred Goodwin.

I’ve no idea why I typed this. Must be Alzheimer's disease setting in. It does make me say the strangest things.

Run for your lives. From Zombies?

Taken from the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention.

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

Ooh err.

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

Run for the hills. We are all doomed.

Actually it’s designed to give you a lighthearted mine of information of what you should have at hand in case disaster strikes.

You might be advised to stock up today.

Saturday is last day on earth, claims evangelical ChristianHarold Camping, 89, wrongly predicted 'the rapture' date once before in 1994 God's chosen few ascend to heaven, sinners left behind to face earthquakes Atheists hold parties to celebrate 'inevitable embarrassment' Christian author calls Camping's prediction 'flat-out wrong'

Nut Jobs the lot of them.

My First Ship

Now you all thought that my first ship was RFA Retainer. Well you were all wrong.

My first ship was HMS Gannet or as it was in my day, the Training ship Mercury. Now it didn’t look like the pic above in my day. The masts had gone, no funnel, and the upper deck was covered by a corrugated tin roof.

A little History.

HMS Gannet is therefore a classic example of the type of ship used to implement Great Britain's 'gunboat diplomacy' during the final 25 years of the nineteenth century. As fast if not faster than their sailing predecessors, sloops such as HMS Gannet maintained a capability as sea boats that ensured they could be kept at sea when larger ships had been forced to take refuge. In addition, her composite construction was ideal for her role allowing her to operate at sea for long periods and over long distances without the need for elaborate dockyard facilities to maintain her as her carpenter and crew could repair most minor damage while at sea. Indeed Gannet's designer, Sir Nathaniel Barnaby, was so confident in her hull design that he ordered that when ships of her type returned from duties overseas, they were only to have obvious work done, and were not to be stripped down completely, as was the general practice at the time.

In my day, the school day consisted of being turfed out of your hammock at six in the morning, whereupon the first order of the day was to generally clean up the ship. Scrubbing the decks was the chore of choice. Cleaning the toilets was not.

This was followed by rowing ashore in 36 foot cutters to the shore establishment, followed by the inevitable cold shower and a meagre breakfast. (Monday: Porridge, slice of bread, and an egg. Tuesday: Porridge, slice of bread, and a rasher of bacon. Wednesday: Same as Monday. Need I continue?). On completion it was tidying up up the shore establishment such as sweeping the parade ground and the like. (Have I mentioned toilets?).

Just to make sure we were all there we next had to form up on the parade ground in our divisions (Mine was called the poncy name of Rodney. Apparently he was a famous Admiral).The roll call didn’t always tally. During the winter of ‘62, 14  of our number escaped one night and made a break to freedom. Bearing in mind that the river Hamble in which were ensconced had frozen over, and that the ice was forming on the internal decks, I just wonder why I didn’t do the same. Mind you, my suggestion of tunnelling out was not very popular.

Then of course there were classes to attend. In addition to the usual, we learnt Navigation, Seamanship, and signals. (incidentally I hold O level passes in Navigation and Seamanship. Bye the way did I ever mention that my chosen profession was marine engineering).

Of course all things had to end. We had to row out to that bloody prison hulk again, in the evening.

Three years in prison. To be topical, Rapists have never had it so good.

The long and short of it was I left, and was enthusiastically grudgingly accepted as an engineering cadet in the Royal Fleet Auxiliary.

Why was the Training Ship Mercury set up?

Charles Hoare founded the school to rescue boys from unpromising environments and train them primarily for service in the Royal Navy. The first boys were said to be:
"improved street arabs of fourteen or fifteen years of age who have vouched for themselves that they are willing to enter the Royal Navy" picked up from the slums of London and quarantined at a cottage in Tooting before being sent to the ship."

The trials and tribulations of growing up with whores, booze, transvestites will soon be coming to a blog near you in the near future.

Say Aaaaaah

Marriage proposal by Movie.

Whatever next.

It’s the look on the girl’s face as it slowly dawns that it’s about her.

Could it happen here?

Imagine the scene:

The Uk’s people’s movement has finally awoken, Trafalgar square in London is now the country’s Tahrir Square, and the ‘Arab Spring’ has been joined by what is now bracing to become a long ‘European Summer’. As people across the Arab world continue their popular struggle for justice, peace and democracy, The Uk’s disillusioned citizens have finally caught on with full force. Slow at first, hopeful that the Uk’s dire economic conditions would magically correct themselves, the UK street has finally understood that democratic and economic justice and peace will not come from the pulpits of the country’s corrupt political elite. [......] A failed European project, with its borders quickly being reinstated, a collapsing Euro currency, and the examples of Greece, Portugal and Ireland are the reminders to those on the streets of what it is they are fighting to disassociate themselves from, and of the freedoms they are working towards. The economic and political project of the country’s elite has destroyed the economic dreams of whole generations of naïve and apathetic British. [...] A silent revolution has begun in the UK, a nonviolent revolution which seeks democracy through democratic means, justice through just means, and peace through peaceful means has finally captivated the imagination of the British people, and now there is no turning back. Hopefully an articulate steering committee will flourish soon from amongst the crowds, which is capable of making clear and viable demands that grab the imagination of the country and force the political elite to comply."

I would like to think so. However the above paragraph has been adjusted to read “UK” instead of “Spain”.

I personally think that unless our political scum politicians start to listen to the people that matter in this country (You and Me), the scenario above will eventually happen. What happened to the upstanding business men of old who after working to build up a company then decided to enter politics to try and improve the condition of their constituents? All I see now is a political class that has no affinity with how the real world works.

Many thanks to Witterings from Witney