National theft service

I'm getting on in years (As I keep telling you), but I'm getting pissed of with the NHS.

This post is not about clinical services, MRSA, failing services,etc. No, it's about theft, pure and simple.

Over the last few years I have had several elderly relatives admitted to Hospital with one ailment or another, ie, strokes, falls, etc.

What I find abhorrent is in nearly all cases they have had money or personal possessions stolen from them. Usually cash, but in some cases precious family items.

What galls me is that whilst they proclaim proudly that their site is a "No smoking site", nowhere do they proclaim "This is a no theft site".

The latest victim of this growth industry is an Aunt-in-law, 91 years of age, who had tripped and fallen, and was taken into St. ***** Hospital in Sidcup.

Surely, apart from their duty of care for the patients health, shouldn't they be looking after their material possessions as well? Where's their duty of care?

Bloody Tossers.

Letter to the administration is now in order.

Health and Safety

I've gradually seen a change in our safety over the years. For the worse.

In older days we were provided with PPE and off we went to work. Youngsters today would jump up and say how irresponsible of the company. How can they send the workforce out before carrying out a complete risk management study first?

Well, my young friends, here's how it was done.

Before the hugely burocratic HSE came in to force, people were actually able to think for themselves. My employer would give me instruction in the use of PPE and would supply all that was neccessary. We were taught to carry out a continuous risk assessment throughout the working day.

I believe that the modern day system lulls you youngsters into a false sense of security. I will explain.

A manager at the beginning of the day, for the task in hand fills out a risk assessment form, a permit to work, a Cossh assessment, and anything else that is the flavour of the day.

All this takes away the feeling of any risk from the person who is tasked with the job. Ie, "The Boss says it's safe, so it has to be." So for the rest off the day the worker goes about his business, happy in the fact that he is safe.

He is sadly deluded.

An example:

The workplace is a 250,000 ton supertanker.

Safety equipment available: Boiler suits, hard hats, safety boots, two oxygen meters, Breathing apparatus at the hatch entrance in case of emergency, etc.

Three sailors are tasked with entering a ballst tank for inspection of the coatings. All the relevant checks have been carried out. Oxygen meter lowered into the tank, and good atmosphere found. So far so good.( No It's not. There were only two oxygen meters, weren't there?)
Portable lighting lowered into the tank, so far so good.
Rescue equipment available at the tank entrance at the top of the tank. So far so good.

The three sailors enter into the tank. They are quite safe, their boss has filled in the paperwork, therefore they MUST be safe.
Down at the bottom of the tank they start their allotted task, however due to the fact they took an hour in sorting out the paperwork, they are running late. So they split up.

NB: A ballast tank on a 250,000 ton tanker is huge.

After a while there is a loud thump. One of the sailors has collapsed. The other two hurry towards him but their oxygen meters go off. What should they do? If they go to assist him they will put themselves in the same danger. Their only course of action is to get themselves out of harms way and call for help.
Which they do.

Did the sailor who collapsed due to oxygen starvation survive? Sadly,no. The rescue team donned breathing apparatus and descended into the tank to save him. When they reached the bottom they attempted to carry him up the vertical ladder to safety.

I did mention it was a 250,000 ton supertanker didn't I?

They never made it out. Their BA might have got them out alone, but the extra workload used too much air, and they ran out, and died.


Moral of the story: Think the problem out for yourself. It's your life, paperwork does not keep you from dying.

The correct procedure would be on the lines of this.

All personnel have an oxygen meter.
Two of the personnel survey all of the tank first with oxygen meters, wearing Breathing apparatus ready to be donned. Then work could be started.
All of the personnel should be carrying their own personal oxygen meter.

Moral of this story: Think for yourself. It's your life. Forget about the compensation culture, you're dead.

I realy am a sad bastard.

We would all be safer without the HSE regs. Get people thinking for themselves.

If you were to believe in an almighty being, this might be of use

A prayer for the stressed!

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work

12% on Monday

23% on Tuesday

40% on Wednesday

20% on Thursday

5% on Fridays

And help me to remember.....

When I am having a really bad day and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to fuck off!

Tilting at Windmills

Offshore wind turbines.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't profess to be an expert in this field, but I do have a few thoughts on the subject.

I've spent my whole career spent in the harsh environment that these edifices will have to be able to withstand. So I'm going to ask the proponents of these super duper energy saving devices, to convince me that they are cost effective.

Question 1

What are you going to build them on? If you are going to build them off the Thames estuary, which is mainly made up of sand, have you thought about the foundations that will be needed?

Question 2 (linked to Q1)

Given the weather in the North sea, how long will it take you to put in those foundations?

Question 3

What materials are you going to use in the construction of these turbines, given the harsh environment that they will be subjected to?

Question 4

If you have built them, how much is it going to cost to maintain them? Have you factored in the cost of surveying them, changing the turbine bearings, probably every 4 years, insulation resistance, etc. These costs have to be factored in to make the concept viable.

Question 5

What voltage are they going to produce? Anything less than 6.6kV would be inneficient. We go back to environment issues here. 6.6kV hates a sea water environment. The slightest touch of salt water, into the internal workings will destroy the generator. (Anyone near by is extremely dead as well)

Question 6

Given that they only produce energy for 30% of the time. How are they justified?

Question 6. No, a demand

All you green, turbine wankers must be forced to have a 200 ft wind turbine built in your back garden. And yes, this means you, George Monbiot, and Jonathan Porritt. Don't hide from your responsibilty. Apart from the fact that they are a complete eyesore and a blot on the landscape, and they kill off the birdlife, how can you refuse? Put your money where your political mouth is.

If you had any sense, you would have seen through this idiocy, and opted for nuclear. But then you wish to take us back to the middle ages.

Question 7 Am I being to stupid?

You tell me

And as an aside. I live in the real world of marine engineering. If you fuck up, you drown.

Flying squirrels

Old movie, but still amusing



I suppose I will now be on the animals' rights hit list. Oh well.

Who the fuck was the snitch?

From Mary Honeballs's blog on labourlist comes this disgusting article

A Conservative club and its steward have been ordered to pay £5,000 in fines and costs after being caught breaking the smoking ban.

The Balfour Conservative Club in Haverfordwest, Pembrokeshire, and its steward, John Phillips, all pleaded guilty and were each fined £1,000 by magistrates, in addition to costs of £3,000.

Following a tip-off, Pembrokeshire council officers went to the club and found three men flouting the ban by smoking in a room.

"To put the interests of smokers above the health of others is wholly unacceptable," said Jeff Beynon, a council health manager.

"In circumstances such as this the authority is left with no alternative but to prosecute, to protect the health of non-smokers and of persons employed on the premises."

Magistrates were told the council made an unannounced visit to the club on June 12th last year following a tip-off that the ban was being ignored.

They entered the club to find three men smoking in a room, despite there being a "No Smoking" sign on display and despite the fact the club had been provided with comprehensive guidance about the ban.

The council said the club had even sent someone to a series of roadshows held by council.

Mr Beynon described the club's wilful defiance of the ban as inexcusable.

But he did describe the £5,000 fine as "disproportionate".

He said the three people caught smoking were pensioners and had been standing just inside an external door.

I bet they were so proud of themselves. I hope that they will feel some remorse if and when some poor pensioner, who has been paying taxes, his whole life, dies from this ridiculous ban.

Mary Honeyball insinuates that it is only evil Tories that defy the ban. She really is a piece of nu labour shite. How do people like this get elected?

AA WARNS MOTORISTS TO WATCH OUT FOR BADLY DRIVEN SUBMARINES

As you can see from my profile, I have been sailing the sevens seas for some time. Considering the Atlantic ocean, in three dimensions , is bigger than most of us can comprehend, how the fuck do two Ballistic missile submarines collide? I think the MOD have some explaining to do. How on earth did they make such a cockup and not sink the cheese eating, surrender monkies' submarine. Heads must roll.

You got to be kidding me!

The world would have truly gone mad, if this were to happen.


http://www.worldsgreatestbusinessmind.com/20090216-Obnoxio-TheClown-create.html

You must watch the video. I nearly peed myself.

Taking the piss is such fun.

You know you will laugh Derek. Even you must see the funny side. You're not the first to have this treatment, and you won't be the last.

Got yer!

Note the raised middle finger.

H/T to Maggie Jones