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Anna Raccoon

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(on October 11, 2011 at 15:25).

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I just love Cif

Stripsidebob on blogging

I think Marr is right to say blogs, or even comments sections on newspapers websites (like this one, very much like this one), are mostly filled with unpleasantness, vitriol, anger, abuse, and downright nastiness.

Listen up kids...here's how you can be radical. Try being nice to one another, consider the topic in hand, try and have a relevant point to make, and think before you press send on the latest bile you've just shat out.

Well Bob.

You can fuck right off. There that’s off my chest now.

Back to the Blog.

Weapon of man’s destruction

This article says it all about women and their unwitting weapon in the fight against the male sex.

Throughout Britain's streets a dangerous weapon is on the rise. Both the trafficking and the ownership of the weapon remain legal – and, protected by the law, its users show little or no remorse for the harm they inflict. I hereby call on the Government to take urgent action against this menace. As the weeks go by, it will only become more widespread.

And if you’re a man.

I'm aware, incidentally, that there exist some male pedestrians who carry xxxxxxxxs. These creatures are not men in any true sense and should be looked upon with suspicion.

Have a guess at what the womens’ weapon of choice is?

THE GOLFING NUN.......

 

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 

'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior.. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 
'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?’

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. 
And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !' 

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!' 

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother..

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.

'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... 
'You missed the f---ing putt, didn't you?'

I’m helping 10:10

Right. This morning I decided to help those folks out with their Global warming malarkey.

Lets see.

1. Central Heating on and set to 25 deg            Check
2. Windows open                                               Check
3. Oven on, and door open                                Check
4. Fire lit                                                            Check
5. Car started and left running                           Check
6. 300w security lights on                                  Check
7. Immersion heater on and bath left running with plug out                                                                 Check
8. Shower on                                                      Check
9. Mower running and left tethered to run in a circle. (Note to self.Remember to top up fuel tank) Check
10. All lights on                                                     Check

 

There you are 10:10. Ten items to increase my global warming signature.

What’s that you say? I’m supposed to cut my carbon footprint? Oh dear, I must have misheard you. Ok I’ll leave the TV on standby then, and not watch it. And bye the way, my electricity meter caught fire due to the speed it was turning and the house burnt down. A bit of smoke never harmed anyone.

And the  crash of that airbus 380 can’t be pinned on me for burning oily rags on the open fire. Can it? I admit that the visibility was a bit limited, but really just because the buggers circle over my house before landing at Gatwick can’t be my fault surely.

I’ll get it right next year. (Promise)

*Fingers crossed behind my back*

Well done that Raccoon.

I wrote about Sheila Martin a while back.

She was the lady who was being prosecuted for dropping fag ash on the pavement. Sheila was facing a court fine of £2,500 for non payment of the penalty notice.

Well thanks to the Raccoon and her local paper, Sandwell Council have dropped the case as not being in the public interest.

Latest O2 advert.

Just in time for 10/10/2010

H/T to GOT for the making of that.
And just for more fun.

H/T to the boiling frog.

Climate scepticism. A Challenge.

Why is it that those of us who have a healthy desire to see an honest debate on climate change meet with so much hostility?

Why is it taken to be proven that man is to blame for Global cooling/Global warming/Global climate disruption, etc, etc, by some computer models, when those models don’t agree with the observations?

Why do I get vilified by anonymous commenter's when I point out facts that I’ve gleaned from governments and renewable energy consortia, outlining the uncertainties and costs of these forms of energy? Is it because those commenter's have been so brainwashed that they are afraid, no, terrified, that they might have been hoodwinked into believing a lie?

I have three children and certainly don’t wish them a bad future. So all of you Anons out there. Why am I sceptical of the science?

Because I’m an engineer. No I'm not a scientist. However engineers have to think in an analytical manner otherwise nothing would work as it should. I had the laws of thermodynamics drummed into me from an early age and therefore know all about radiation, convection, and heat transfer.

Most of the comments I receive usually contain “Don’t you know the science is settled?” or “All the scientists agree”.

Well then, all you Anons. Prove it to me with verifiable facts. And no, I don’t mean copies of Al Gore’s “An inconvenient truth”, or the Hockey stick graph. They would cause me to slash my wrists in frustration.

And if you dare cite the myth of the dying polar bears…….

That’s me for now Oh righteous ones. I’m going to do something truly despicable to you.

I’m going to smoke a cigarette.

Train Station Psychosis (TSP)

That most insidious form of psychosis which can cause a normally rational person to miss a train and/or miss their station.

It works under the following conditions:

• A rational person goes to station with the aim of catching a train to some exotic destination.

• They will sit on a bench, and remove some items from a pouch or a briefcase or a handbag such as a paper, a book, food or a personal stereo.

• They will then busy themselves with the objects until the train arrives, whereupon they will quickly pack up their things and go to get on the train.

It is at this point when Train Station Psychosis (TSP) kicks in. After having found themselves a seat, the traveller will become convinced that they have left something on the platform and will rush out of the train. The doors will close and the train will go without them, leaving them stranded on the platform, a victim of Train Station Psychosis.

This can also work in reverse: a train draws into a station and a person about to disembark is called back by TSP with the lure of some forgotten item. The train leaves the station and the person will be stuck on board.

It is widely believed that rail companies created TSP in an attempt to increase revenue gained from fines for 'travelling without a sufficient ticket'.

Anon.

I find it interesting that people who disagree with a Blog post of mine, are invariably Anonymous. And more often than not, have Grammar and spelling that makes mine look like the writings of Shakespeare.

 

My  translation attempt at the above.

Council exchange *unintelligible* – I have a council stuido flat in Wallisdown own kitchen own bathroom intocom system on ground floor *unintelligible* quiet block of four *unintelligible* quiet astate pets allowed with permisson A big commual garden all fenced off If anyone would be intrested in swapping with me chan call on *number removed* I am looking to swap to Winton on Moondown on surrounding arears

Makes you wonder.