As my one reader will note I’m somewhat of a skeptic/denier (insert ad Hominem attack here), when it comes to man made Global warming.
For those who would disagree, I give you a little pamphlet for you to read. Then have a think whether you have been conned or not. Make up your own mind.
An article hidden away in The Daily Mail (I’m sorry), caught my eye today. John Bolton, the former U.S. ambassador to the UN has brought up a subject that has slipped from public view. In his article he considers that Israel has only three days in which to launch an attack on the Iranian reactor at Bushehr. The reason being that the reactor will be loaded with nuclear fuel on Saturday.
The question really is, will Israel mount a pre-emptive strike to prevent Iran being able, in the future to manufacture nuclear weapons? They have done it before.
Can you think of a suitable caption for the picture below?
1. Everyone stands quietly as Susan magically hovers above the mud.
2. God damned hippies...
3. Next event in the 2012 Olympics, black velvet painting skeet-shoot.
4. This is when everyone realized Eve's love of tomato soup had gone too far.
5. There is no spoon.
5. Jesus Powers: ACTIVATE!
6. Hover boobs, the worlds greatest invention.
6. Red bull...gives you wings....
7. THE GUY IN THE BACK IS NOT WEARING PANTS!!!!
8. This is how the villagers find out if you are a witch...
9. "God dammit Criss, you mind freak. I said it's not you it's me!!"
10. "Screw you guys, im flyin home!"
11. To say Becky has a fondness for Buffalo wing sauce is an understatement.
12. Reversed michael jackson surgery in 3,2,1,...
13. In winter the River Curry froze over, making for excellent nipple skating.
14.I will catch the bridal bouquet!
15. I believe I can fly!
16. LEAVE ME ALONEE
17.What if she farted
18. I believe i can fly!!! she can plane under the mood.
Ten people were injured, one seriously, after a passenger train collided with a sewage tanker in Suffolk.
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,current medical report from your doctor and personal recommendation from your clergy.
NAME______________________
DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT_______ WEIGHT________ IQ______ BMI_________
NHI #___________
DRIVERS LICENSE #__________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS____________________
CITY___________ POST CODE______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________
If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A camper with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend
___________________________________________________
How often you attend
________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
Vicar? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
____________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
____________________________________________________
C: A woman’s place is in the:
____________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
____________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
____________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, & RED HOT POKERS.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
__________________________________________
Mother’s Signature _________________________
Father’s Signature___________________________
Vicar/Priest/Rabbi_________________________
MP/Council Member________________________
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)
NOTE: Do NOT apply if you haven’t read the rules here.
Ever been accosted by a solar power salesman and advised that solar panels on your roof will save you a fortune on your energy bill? Well I’ve just had one of these charlatans cold call me. Luckily I remembered some facts and figures and sent him off with his tail between his legs
The facts and figures came from an article in The Indy a while back. The article was discussing research carried out by the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors on the feasibility of mast mounted wind turbines and Photovoltaic panels on private dwellings.
Now for all you greenies that might read this, and think that you must have one of those, try this for size.
Photovoltaic (PV) panels for power – and domestic, mast-mounted wind turbines – will take between 50 and 100 years to pay back.
Of course those most likely to gain from this idiocy spouted the usual nonsense.
The solar power industry accused Rics of failing to take account of the rising cost of energy and other financial benefits of renewable power in its figures. Jeremy Leggett, of Solar Century, said: "They are grossly irresponsible."
I must have saved someone some money from this article. That’s my good deed for the year day then.
Sheila Martin, 70, was smoking at a bus stop when a warden pounced and handed her the £75 fixed penalty for……………
What offence did she commit?
Mugged a child for his/her sweetie money?
Spitting?
Feeding the ducks? (This has already happened in Sandwell)
Farting in public?
Taking photographs?
Assaulting a traffic warden?
Running her house keys down the side of a bus?
I could go on.
No she dropped her cigarette ash. Not her cigarette, just the ASH.
What’s more because she refuses to pay the penalty she could face a fine of £2,500.
When will they butt out of our lives? sanctimonious pricks.
My bloody dentist.
All he seems able to do is bang on about me giving up smoking. last thing I knew dentists were not doctors, so why is he banging on about it?
Has their been some incentive given to dentists to coerce their patients to give up smoking?
Smoking remains the largest single preventable cause of death and disability in the UK and costs the NHS £1.7 billion each year.1 More than 120,000 people die prematurely due to smoking related diseases. Worldwide smoking is the single most important public health problem. The detrimental effects of smoking and tobacco use on oral health are well recognised. Oral cancers and pre-cancers, periodontal diseases and poor wound healing are the most significant and serious effects of smoking on the mouth.2, 3 In addition, staining of the teeth, soft tissue changes and halitosis are aesthetic and social impacts of smoking directly related to oral health.
No, but they are subjected to the same brain washing as other health service “professionals”. The paragraph above is from the British dental journal.
I wouldn’t mind so much if I was getting treatment under the NHS. However I have been forced to go private due to the dearth of NHS funded dentists in my area. Therefore he can shut the fuck up in future, otherwise I shall take my money elsewhere.
And what the fuck is:
Background Smoking is correlated with a large number of oral conditions such as tooth staining and bad breath.
Answers on a post card to ”Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells” as he seems to be the biggest winger in the country.
