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Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Am I happy?

Not when I read buffoonery like this:

Do you get on well with your husband or wife? And how much do you trust your local council?

The answers to these questions are among the ten signs the Government believes best sum up Britain’s happiness.

WTF. But then this is another “Initiative” rolled out again by our Clown in chief.

The list, published yesterday, will form David Cameron’s ‘happiness survey’ upon which future Coalition policies could be based.

I think it might be better if he stopped thinking that he’s still in PR, and got on with trying to get the Country out of the mess it’s in.

Here are the questions we may be asked.

happiness survey

My answers.

1. No. Someone keeps asking me to take stupid surveys

2. That’s got fuck all to do with you. next you’ll be trying to pry through my bedroom window.

3. For the first part. I’m suffering repetitive strain injury in trying to answer this shit. For the second, I’m going to have a nervous breakdown if I actually receive this questionnaire.

4. No. I’m a benefit scrounging scum pensioner who left work, rather than put up with all the petty regulations foisted upon us in recent years.

5. Our neighbourhood would be more contented if the Jobsworths left us alone. Do I fear crime? Yes because you have made so many laws, that I can become a criminal at the drop of a hat.

6. Fatuous question. We’d all like more.

7. I’m educated in real life. I’m an engineer.

8. No. I would string up all the duplicitous bastards if I had my way.

9. Skewed of course to show the party in the best light.

10. Have you not realised that at least three wheels have fallen of that wagon? Where have you been in the last few years since Climategate. (Tip: Suggest you sack that Huhne fellow soon, before he drags you down with him. On second thoughts, by all means let him drag you down with him. Then maybe we can get a PM that might actually be good fro the country).

Oh well. That’s my blood pressure overloaded.

I think I’ll just have to exceed  the recommended alcohol limits in order to calm down. 


  1. If such a survey arrives, simply tick all the 'unhappy' boxes and return. If enough people do that, perhaps the people sending out the surveys will have the nervous breakdowns. We can but hope.

  2. I'd love to be interviewed or to receive one of these surveys ..

    But I suspect someone, somewhere is deliberately avoiding asking me, as they already know what my answers would be .. ;)

  3. 1. Are you sure it's my life? You fuckers keep acting like you own it.

    2. I had no idea I had a choice.

    3. The voices in my head tell me I'm doing fine.

    4. Yes, I have job. I have good time collecting indefinite articles from stupid questions. Do you have job?

    5. Regrettably masonry and stonework round here is incapable of feeling contentment.

    6. Probably not as satisfied as I'd be with yours, you over compensated twat.

    7. Sufficiently well educated not to ask people if they have job.

    8. To do what?

    9. Is there a question in there?

    10. Don't have a greenhouse so its gas isn't a problem for me, but I once ripped a fart so huge it made the shed window rattle. Is that any good?

  4. Your No.3 is better than mine. Damn.

    "The voices in my head tell me I'm doing fine."


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