Google analytics

Thursday, 27 October 2011

I am damned

Well, In the minds of the health puritans, I am.

I smoke 40 a day

I drink well over the “recommended limits”. (And I mean well over).

I like plenty of salt on my food.

I don’t go for long walks. (The thought of such a boring pastime makes me shiver).

I eat what I want.

So now you would expect by righteous definitions, I’m a menace to the future of the NHS, due to my non PC lifestyle.

Well the truth is that I’ve been almost no drain on the state. In my working life (43 years), I would say that I’ve had at the most, seven days of sick leave.

If you were to believe the likes of the so called charities such as ASH, Alcohol concern, the Obesity forum, and all the other rent seeking groups, I should have been dead years ago.

Sorry chums. I’m living proof that your propaganda is flawed.

My advice to the up and coming generation is enjoy life to the full. It’s the only one you’ll have. Go out, get drunk in the smoking shelter, then stagger home clutching a big mac, and enjoy yourself.

At the moment I’m actually a drain on the NHS as I’ve been diagnosed with a peptic ulcer. However that’s not my fault. I blame the commenters on this blog for putting me in the worrying position of trying to answer their absolutely brilliant comments, I fail dismally.

It’s your fault.

But, Hey, keep them coming.


  1. can't blame me. I just arrived to this rodeo in the last month or so. So *I* am this instance.

  2. Many years ago I met a Spanish waiter (no, not that one!) who was suffering from an ulcer. Asked how he treated it he reply quite simply - " I kill it with whisky".

    Well --- it's worth a try.

  3. I had a duodenal peptic ulcer when I was 16 (I know, the doctors (quacks) couldn't believe it either). This was solved with mucaine (antacid) and cimetedine (drug to fix the ulcer). however, shortly thereafter an ozzie discovered that ulcers are cause by a bacteria.

    Make sure the fuckers give you the right stuff

  4. @Xopher, many years ago I suddenly got a very painful toothache. Unable to concentrate at work I took myself home, dosed myself up on far too much ibruprofen and Glennfiddich. I awoke the following day feeling like sh*t but it took a while to realise that the pain was gone, never to return. I had killed it too.

    I'm also guilty of poor lifestyle choices but have yet to trouble the NHS as a result. In the past decade I have suffered two minor traumas (neither lifestyle related) and both times my body healed itself before I got to the front of the NHS queue.

  5. Spoketh the Filthy one.."P.S. Are you from Houston, Tx?"

    Ayup. Why do you ask oh engineer of the filthy persuasion? :)

  6. DCW.

    I was just looking at the stats for this blog. I saw your time of commenting matched an entry from Texas.

  7. Anon. They've given me pills that kill of that bacteria. Feeling better all ready.

  8. If you're trying to make me feel guilty FE ..

    You've failed dismally, oppo .. I'm in the focsle locker, getting high on paint fumes .. ;-)

  9. upto 4 years ago i worked all hours i could. then an drunken idiot attacked me, breaking my ankle. this hasn't set properly. I've not been able to work since, so I'm a drain on the system at the moment unfortunately.

    I smoke and I'm obese, the injury had nothing to do with those. But I've had to and still am having to fight to get the NHS to try and fix things and get me working again. I even had to put in an official complaint against my surgeon as he said it was my weight and nothing else causing the problem - then after the complaint, they did a MRI and found a whole s*** load of problems!

    they just blame their latest pet predjudices for everything nowadays....

  10. FE, I probably have a similar sickie record to yours. A couple of months ago I had to see my doctor, he was amazed that this was my first visit for 25 years. I think it's a male thing, we are stoics to the points of pig headedness. Believe me I could find things for the doc to look at any day.

    Get well soon.

  11. captain

    "getting high on paint fumes .. ;-)"

    All has been revealed.

  12. Gumbo.

    The first question my Doc asked was not "What is wrong with you", but do you drink or smoke?

    Obviously he's been on the health fanatic's indoctrination course.


Say what you like. I try to reply. Comments are not moderated. The author of this blog is not liable for any defamatory or illegal comments.