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Saturday, 4 June 2011

We woz brung up wivout health and safety

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WHO WERE BORN IN THE  1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and even early 70's

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Burger King.
Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner shop and buy  Toffees, Gob stoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.

We ate biscuits, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY ,
no video/dvd  films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents.
Only girls had pierced ears!
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...

We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays, we rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!
RUGBY and CRICKET had try outs and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT
Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla'

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO

And YOU are one of them!


  1. I'm sure you've seen this one as well, but, just in case......

  2. Was that the period Robertsons jam used the Golliwog trademark?

    When the tobacconist would sell you those individually-wrapped sweets which IIRC were called Black Sambos?

    When you learnt from falling out of a tree, so that you took more care next time, so it didn't recur?

    When you could buy stink bombs which were real glass ampules (containing ammonium sulphide) that had to be smashed on the floor [sometimes in Woolies]?

    Train-spotters weren't classed as nerds.

  3. Both of you bring back more memories of a day when we could be ourselves and not worry about utterly stupid rules and regulations.

  4. When father had a phone installed, a gang of Post Office Telephone workers turned up in a green BMC truck and proceeded to connect us up with bare copper wires strung on insulators.

    When I tried to be clever, and made a double decker go-kart which promptly overturned, spilling passengers and causing much blood letting....

    When we used to steal the returned pop bottles back from the shops compound, and hand them in a second time....

    When I nearly blew the chemistry lab up....

    When we would play with a blob of mercury in the lab, rolling it around in our bare hands, and were never required to wear goggles, or gloves........

    When the metalwork teacher used to leave me in charge of the class, so he could nip out for a fag....

    When I got my first shock from the mains at the tender age of 8....

    When it was still possible to buy 5 star leaded petrol....

    And if I couldn't find any, I had to quickly wind the vernier adjuster on the Mini's distributor back to stop it from pinking....

    And grease God knows how many ball joints on a fortnightly basis....

    It's a bloody miracle I'm still here....

  5. I think I used up eight of my nine lives. I'm still here though. How can you enjoy life without a little risk.

  6. MD "When I nearly blew the chemistry lab up...."

    Oh those were the days.

    When the Chemistry teacher explained how to make explosives (or rather the chemical reactions that were necessary for a 'big bang').

    When the local chemist was satisfied with the answer "my chemistry teacher told me I needed 4 oz for homework" when purchasing potassium chlorate. And the grocer never enquired why I needed icing sugar.

  7. The fun of nearly killing myself making homemade fireworks.

    Take one ton of ammonium chlorate....................

  8. When the local tobacconist used to sell single cigarettes - to keep the pocket money market happy (yes, really!). And if he was closed you could by Players Weights in fives, almost anywhere.

  9. And after all that you lot elected Tony Blair.

  10. Captain Haddock5 June 2011 at 08:48

    "When the tobacconist would sell you those individually-wrapped sweets which IIRC were called Black Sambos" ?

    When "Penny Chews" had sod all to do with Fellatio ..

    And when "Fisherman's Friends" had no "queer" connotations ..

    When we used to chew twigs, called Arrowroot ..

    When the Milkman & the Coalman delivered by horse-drawn cart .. and the Ice-cream man rode a bike with a box on the front ..

    When the Binmen used to lug metal bins on their shoulders & heft the contents into the truck by hand ..

    When you used to crap yourself if a Copper even looked sideways at you .. even though you knew you'd done nothing wrong (he might have just discovered what you'd been up to yesterday) ;)

    When the size & toughness of your conkers gave you "cred" before "cred" had been invented ..

    When you could make red marks on the back of your mate's legs, with a Spud-Gun .. and didn't get nicked for GBH, or have a SWAT Team turn up ..

    I'm bloody proud of being a 1950's kid .. :) :)

  11. Captain Haddock5 June 2011 at 09:23

    When we could buy our food, drinks, clothes, petrol etc in the traditional British way .. until some fucktard interferred & compelled us to use a "foreign" method of weighing & measuring everything ..

    Well, guess what ?

    British is back ...

    Next stop, our coinage ...

  12. Happy days....sigh!

  13. Ah, yes! Bring back proper coinage!

    Another of the great cons perpetrated by the 'elite'.

    That'll be two and sixpence three farthings, please.

  14. Captain Haddock5 June 2011 at 20:25

    From that well known & much loved Royal Naval ditty ..

    "Bunk-ups are cheap today ..
    cheaper than yesterday ..

    Five bob, or Half-a-Crown ..
    standing up, or lying down" ..

  15. Captain. You paid that much! You woz dun.


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