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Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Over or under? That is the question.

I’ve just been undertaking some research which will probably get me the Nobel Peace prize this year. Now you might think that FE has worked out how to make Nuclear Fusion work, or invented the ultimate paperclip.

No. It’s more important than that. It’s the meaning of Life, a small room, and the humble toilet roll.

toilet roll

My life’s work is done.


  1. "My life’s work is done." - Not until you put a vote up....

    "Less chance of unravelling in an RV or during an earthquake" - Ye Gods, is that the best they can come up with??

  2. Mow ?

    Either you need to take your cat to the vet or clip your childs fingernails.

  3. When I saw 'Over or under - that is the question', I got quite excited. I thought, for one glorious moment, you were talking about knickers and suspender belts ;) !

    Sadly not - I'll get me coat.

  4. When I first went to Japan they were just changing toilets over from traditional hole-in-the-base jobs to Western seat types. This caused lots of confusion as to most Japanese, the correct way to do it was the old way, as practiced by their ancestors, for millenia.
    So they tended to compromise, to use the new seats, but to stand on them, which resulted in all sorts of silly accidents.
    Not being Japanese for nothing, they got around this by producing little plastic plates, showing stick figures, one seated (ticked) and one standing on the seat (big red cross). The little plates were stuck on the wall behind loos in hotels and public places. Eventually the nation converted to western toilets, or more likely became AC/DC toilet-wise.
    This success in emulating the West acted like a catalyst and they then proceeded to beat us all roundly in everything, and we, the West, have never managed to recover the competitive advantage we had when out little wooden ships hit the Japanese shores.
    However, I think that you, FE has at last cracked the problem. I propose that you patent your invention, and send millions of the design drawings over to Japan.
    This will thoroughly confuse them, Japanese contrarians will be saying, “ ...we torrd you so. Orrd ways are best...” Thus confusing them further.
    In the hiatus, the West should be able to recover the momentum and who knows, even export something to Japan.

    Thank you so much, Firthy Engineer!

    Peter Melia

  5. Peter.

    I do my best for world harmony.

  6. Captain Haddock12 May 2011 at 00:23

    The "over or under" dilemma is one which can have unexpected consequences ..

    I've always been an "under" man .. but my daughter's ex husband (a complete knobber) took it into his head, that whenever he visited our house .. he would change the loo roll around ..

    After asking him, several times, to leave things in my house alone .. I eventually twatted him, round the back of the head .. which had the desired effect ..

  7. This was all discussed recently in the Anne Raccoon blog/comments

  8. I was immediately reminded of this,

    which debunks your friction calculations.

    Personally, I can cope with either over or under, but unfortunately I'm not ambidextrous.

    My daughter is fiercely an 'over' person so I install them in the 'under' position to give her practise in changing the bog roll.

    Sadly, while she can do this, she has never mastered the art of replacing the empty roll. Neither it seems has the rest of the family. It's probably some genetic defect.


  9. Not sure you should have 'utter shite' in the ratings for this one

  10. Glad you said that Anon. I've just clicked on utter shite.


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