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Wednesday, 9 February 2011

I don’t believe it.

This was sent from Thomas Cook Holidays,
listing some of the guests' complaints during the season.


  • "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
  • "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."
  • "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
  • "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
  • A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
  • A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
  • "The beach was too sandy."
  • "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
  • A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
  • "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
  • "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
  • "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
  • "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
  • "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
  • "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."
  • "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
  • "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
  • "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
  • "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked." 

And lastly:

  • "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

It makes you ashamed to be British.


  1. These cretins obviously expect the rest of the world to be as ingratiatingly accommodating to every Tom, Dick & Doris as we've been forced to become in Britain ..

    It must have come as a major culture shock to learn that we're the only nation on earth, legally obliged to give a fuck & to change our ways to suit ..

  2. I'd like to complain about this post - there are far too many complaints for one post. Not what I expected at all.

  3. I am ashamed, but I'm not British. I'm English, as, I suspect, most of these morons were.


    While this was a film that I originally thought too vulgar, everyday I come across incidents which highlight it(')s, (buggered if I can remember the rules), veracity.

    Darwin's theories on evolution might apply in some situations but I believe the main natural trend is to decay and destruction.

    We need to be putting more effort into real, meaningful education and training to overcome this natural trend otherwise, sadly, its all downhill from here.

  5. The term, "Thick as pig shit" comes to mind.

  6. Not just Brits. I saw a few corkers on the other day:

    * "I'm doing a crossword at the moment and need your help. What is the name of that really tall building in the Gold Coast?''
    * Another wanted to know why Australian stop signs were shaped like hexagons (an octagon isn't a hexagon - AE)
    *Australian geography is often the weakest point for international visitors, one asking what type of car they would need to drive overnight from the Great Barrier Reef to Perth.
    * Another wondered what passport they would need to visit Melbourne from Queensland.

    And here are the Aussies' efforts:

    * "Can I catch a train from Fiji to New Zealand?''
    * "I know it's a long flight but how is it that I take off at 10am in Sydney and land at 10am in Vancouver on the same day? How is that possible?''
    * Another Aussie wondered what their duty free allowance was in Tasmania while another checked that shops in Perth would take the same currency as Brisbane.
    * "Can you get Australian money out of ATMs overseas?'' asked another.

    That the world is full of miracles every single day is evidenced by the fact that people this stupid can somehow get from one end of the street to the other without dying.


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