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Monday, 14 February 2011

Bin Fairies?

wheelie bin

I’m not sure whether I contracted Dementia, just plain forgetful, or there are demonic forces at play at FE towers.

Now Mrs FE always puts one of the wheelie bins (Green one this week) out on a Monday morning before she sets out for her sixteen hour shift down the porridge mines. (We need the money to keep me in drink, fags and truffles, you see).

After arising from my bed at the early hour of  eleven AM and consuming a leisurely breakfast of strong coffee I went out in the spirit of marital harmony to retrieve the bin from the end of the drive.


NO BIN. First thought was that an international gang of bin nappers was operating in the area. Second thought was whether to call the police and ask if they have an armed bin recovery squad available. Third thought was time for a fag. Of course the ciggie packet, only having one it, had to be disposed of, so round the corner of the house to deposit it in the black bin.


Bugger me. There was the Green bin nestling up against the Black bin. How did it get there? Have we got a bin moving charitable organisation set up in my neighbourhood all of a sudden, Fairies, or maybe I’ve become senile and should be put out of my misery with a non Halal stun gun? What do you think?


  1. I suspect a council bin fairy. We used to get them where we were in the UK. You'd put them out and he'd - actually they'd - arrive some time before the truck to arrange all the bins just so. Quite why they bother when different guys come with the truck and wheel them to the business end I have no idea. I assumed they'd be needed here because the vehicles all have a big robot arm that hoists the bin to the top of the wagon and shakes it upside down to get all the rubbish out, and obviously the bins do need to be within its reach. Turns out it's one guy in the truck and if you don't put the bin out there far enough he just leaves it (it can reach a fair way so they're not too fussy). Maybe you're getting something similar and they just want the bins lined up until everyone's used to the new system. Or maybe it's like where we used to be and the council have some makework going on.

  2. You won't believe this - but my neighbour has taken to deciding that I put my bin out too early and has taken to moving it back.

    I have yet to catch him in the act, but when I do....

  3. Could have been a random act of kindness.

    Not one to toot my own wotsit, but I put next doors bin back every week. She's a bit doolally and thinks she has done it herself.

    Poor old love. I just nod and smile.


  4. CR. Are you trying to insinuate that my next door neighbours think that I'm Doolalley?

    *FE smiles inanely*

  5. I don't see why not FE.

    We are all fairly convinced..:)


  6. Angry Exile - try filling your neighbour's bin with concrete. See what it does to that robot arm - as a scientific experiment.

  7. Marginally better than the single-celled organisms who empty my bin ..

    I went to the time & trouble of laying two slabs at the corner of my front lawn, on which I place my wheelie bin (handle thoughfully placed outwards) so that it was easily available for collection but, still being within the curtilage of my property, so as not to obstruct the footway ..

    Can the amoebas employed by the council not at least return it to the approximate location from whence they took it ?

    Instead of obliging me to undertake the usual Monday afternoon "hunt the wheelie bin" game .. This afternoon, it had been abandoned TEN houses away ..

    I'm beginning to consider smearing the handle of said bin with something brown & nasty .. hoping that they will then eat their sarnies, or whatever ..

    Wankers ..

  8. @ Captain Haddock - are your amoeba's employed by Veolia, by any chance?

  9. Our neighbours take our bins out and put them back. Not quite sure if it's an act of kindness or want to engratiate themselves with the 'wildmen' next door ... us!

  10. @ MD ...

    Sorry mate, I couldn't tell you ..

    The waggon I saw yesterday was so plastered with Re-cycling stickers featuring trees .. it could have been owned by the bloody Forestry Commission ..

  11. On a different note about wheelie bins,I've had 4 bins stolen and the council tell me that kids steal them, then set fire to them as they can get high from the fumes. Who would have thought of that.

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  13. AJ, round here when bins are nicked they end up filled with ice and water to keep beer cold.


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