Google analytics

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

No wonder my Council tax is so high.


A PLAN to remove safety railings which shield walkers from traffic in Tonbridge town centre has already cost the taxpayer £39,000 – and that's before a decision has even been made.

The Courier can reveal Kent County Council has handed a staggering £39,037 to Jacobs Engineering to look into tearing down the pedestrian guard railings in 12 towns across the county.

Now I could have done that at a cost of a few litres of diesel, a pad of paper, and a pencil.

It gets worse.

Kent County Council's Pauline Banks said the cost of the report "did not include the cost for actual removal".

Well, Kent County Council, I have a proposition to make to you. If you want them taken down then buy me a hacksaw, plenty of blades, and a file and I’ll do it for you for £10 an hour. If you don’t mind it taking a while.

Let me see. There’s 350 of the blighters so if I were to remove two per hour for eight hours per day, it would take me 21.8 days. Now as a true working man I would expect to have numerous Tea breaks and chats to passers by, so I’ll say a month would be reasonable. I’ll even save on expenses as Mrs F.E. can drop me in the High street in the morning, on her way to work, and pick me up on her way home.

Lets see 31 days x 8 hours x £10/hour = *Looks for calculator* £2480.

Lets make it a round £2500. You can pay for my tea.

How about it KCC?


  1. Being a bit modern and into boy's toys I'll buy a petrol powered angle grinder and under cut your price!!!!

  2. If I was more on the ball I would have said the angle grinder thing first :-(

  3. But however it's done I bet it's peanuts compared to costs you paid to have them put there in the first place.
    You need to add the figures together to find the total cost of getting absolutely nothing.

  4. If I got an angle grinder the job would take half as long, thus losing me £2500/2 = £1250. Think I'm stupid, do you?

  5. You have not added the H&S costs: a minimum of five men to erect and "manage" the traffic controls, safety barriers, signs and portaloo, plus the lorry driver and their tea-breaks (which will not coincide with yours). Then there's the "safe" disposal of the removed railings - you'll need MSDSs and will need to do an WEEE assessment (more costs). A more realistic cost would be your £2500 + £50000 for the rest. No problem!

  6. FE - The angle grinder just gets you more tea breaks. Your invioce remains the same

  7. Just tell the local gypsies that they can have the railings ... job done! :)

  8. Bucko. Never thought of that. It must be an age thing.

  9. SH. Surprises me that the lot round here haven't already done so.

  10. No, not to the gypsies, to the local constabulary, who would find them handy if they wanted to kettle anybody. Might be able to negotiate a lifetime's free parking anywhere in the borough. Better than money, just think of the status!
    Peter Melia

  11. Tell me FE, why are they pulling them down? I find them useful in many circumstances especially where young children are involved.

    Is this just something to keep employees busy or what?

  12. Nah.....Thermite.

    With Pikeys on standby for clearup.

    wv=tentess, a female tent?


Say what you like. I try to reply. Comments are not moderated. The author of this blog is not liable for any defamatory or illegal comments.