Dear Dave

An open letter to the leader of the Conservative Blue labour party.

Dear Dave,

I used to be a lifelong member of what was the conservative party. Alas no more.

I used to believe the conservative party to be the party of low taxes and little state interference. I now realise that this coagulation of a government is no better than the last.

• All I see is my quality of life is going to be further eroded in your “Lets bash the middle class again” campaign. Yes I think you need the money. But surely, if you let me just have a little bit of it to spend, I might just help to keep British business afloat.
• Where’s your referendum on Europe that you promised? Have you mislaid it? Or is it that you’ve realised just like the rest us that, we are irrevocably bound to be governed by Brussels due to that Monocular, Nokia throwing, spendthrift, cunt, Gordon Brown who signed the Lisbon Treaty ?
• Banging on about the EU for a little longer. If as most pundits seem to agree (Except the Biased Broadcasting Corporation), that 80% of law is enacted from Brussels, why do we need 650 members of parliament? Could we not dispense with 80% of them? (Ooodles of money to be saved there. Especially the expenses).
• Repeal the hunting ban? Ok. But what about the smoking ban which affects far more of the populace? I’m only asking for an amendment to allow freedom of choice to have smoking and non smoking bars in Pubs. Not too much to ask is it?
• Minimum price for alcohol? Tesco’s will love that. Loadsamoney to be made there. (Oh and one thing Dave. You may find that you could just fall foul of the EU on that one. You know, those people mentioned in a paragraph above). Do keep up.
• Climate change. I think that you’re way behind times on that one. Even the Royal Society has changed it’s position on that hot lukewarm chestnut.  See here for FE’s primer on the subject.
• Bonfire of the Quangos? Don’t make me larf. About the size of one of those once only barbecues you can buy in a petrol station, more like.

Well I’ve got to go now as I need to write a nice letter to that friend of yours, Cleggy.

Kind regards

FE.