You’re British now.

A starving asylum seeker is greeted at Dover by a good fairy who grants him 3 wishes.

The Asylum seeker says "I'm hungry." (POW) a huge banquet appears!

He then says "Now I want a nice house." (POW) a big mansion with a swimming pool appears.

He then says"I want to be British." (POW) everything vanishes!

He asks "Where has everything gone?" the fairy says "You're British now mate, you're Entitled to fuck all."

I have seen the future.

Could it be that even your local take away holds all the relevant data on you in the next few years?

The way governments are going it is not an unthinkable premise. The latest wheeze by the government is to lose securely store all our personal records on a central database. Of course we all know how secure that will be. Of course it will be not long before your personal details will be sold on by unscrupulous employees who see a fast buck to be made.

Of course the government will have every last iota of how you live your life:

The data includes weight, cholesterol levels, body mass index, pulse rate, family health history, alcohol consumption and smoking status.

Diagnosis of everything from cancer to heart disease to mental illness would be covered. Family doctors will have to pass on dates of birth, postcodes and NHS numbers.

Be sure that the vid below is quite likely. Do you want it ?

Assault lighter

 Bearing in mind all the furore in the USA about guns and how they are classified I just wondered how the weapons of ignition of Tobacco products would be classified by the authorities. Here are three examples:

Will it be a case in the future, that when stopped and searched I'll be found  and charged for "Going equipped for the purpose of smoking"?

Bugger. I'm probably giving ASH and their drones ideas now. Plain packaging for lighters and matches may now sneak onto the agenda.

Time to find a boy scout and a couple of twigs.

Watch out!

There’s a bear behind you..

A wheel fell off!

If you're into special airplanes even a little, here is a video I’m sure you’ll enjoy if you haven't seen it.  These guys do a remarkable job getting their aircraft back on the ground with a minimal amount of damage.  It could have very easily gone the other way.  Also, notice early in the video there is a sequence showing a F-111 dumping fuel with the afterburners on lighting up the night sky.  Something a little unique to the F-111.

The Australians flew the F-111 a lot longer than the USA Air Force.  The airplane was originally designed to land on a carrier deck so the gear structure is very strong.  Even landing on a long runway you just maintain 10 degrees angle of attack until the runway stops your descent.  Because this is the way the airplane was designed to be landed it felt just fine inside the airplane, but for an observer outside the aircraft it looked like you forgot to flare and really clobbered the landing.

  I don't know if metal fatigue was a factor in this accident but they are fortunate the wheel fell off upon liftoff and not while accelerating down the runway in full afterburner.  Using the tail hook to catch the arresting cable was a great idea, as you will see.  Arresting wires on runways are not like the ones on the flight deck of a carrier.  They provide less resistance and let you decelerate over about a 900 ft. range, something you wouldn't have room to do on a carrier.

 

Bugger that for a game of soldiers. Mind you, bearing in mind the pilot had very little experience, he did bloody well.

Brainwashing

I was just wondering if those scanners at American airports are really designed to re-programme the citizen’s mind to accept a left leaning ideology.

A relation of mine emigrated to the USA a few years ago to be near his family. Before he left he was of the same political stance as Margaret Thatcher. A believer in a smaller state and less state interference in our daily lives.

The other day he phoned for a chat to see how his relations over here were bearing up. Of course a general chit chat ensued.

However I was astounded when we started on the subject of healthcare (Brought on by discussing the health of a couple of elderly relatives),  he started extolling the virtues of Obamacare and likening it to our “Marvellous” NHS. Of course I’m a tactful sort of person and did try to explain that the NHS has grown into a money devouring monster that is pauperising the nation. I also pointed out that if you feel ill, don’t expect to get a doctor’s appointment for several days, you certainly won’t find a doctor to come out to visit out of hours, and forget about a doctor at the weekend.

The subject was subtly changed to the good old stalwart. The weather. Here again I was surprised. He launched into a tirade about how we should reduce our carbon emissions to save the world from global warming, citing droughts in the mid west of the USA and Hurricanes on the west coast.

Of course I (tactfully)  pointed out that weather is not climate, and in fact the drought in the mid west last year was far less severe than that suffered in the 1930’s. I also pointed out that major hurricanes in the last decade have seen a decline .

He has bought into the green propaganda and insisted that the science is settled on the subject of catastrophic global warming. I countered (tactfully) with the fact that the globe has stopped warming for the last 15 years and may stay the same for at least a further five years according to the Met Office.

I wonder if he will ring me again?

Is the Government insulated from reality?

 

Today is the day that the Government’s new strategy to drive people into paying large sums of money for turning their own houses green. Today is the start of the “Green deal”.

This little paragraph shows how it is to be achieved. (I don’t normally read the Guardian).

“You need a green-deal assessor who works for a green-deal adviser organisation to undertake a green-deal assessment of your house, which will result in a green-deal advisory report. This will be lodged with a green-deal provider who will devise a green-deal plan. The work will then be undertaken by a green-deal installer to standards overseen by the new green-deal oversight body.”

Which brings me to the question. How qualified are these green deal assessors? And of course how much will the administration cost? (A topic for another day)

Not very well in I would suspect. The course is for three days only and this is what they cover.

EPC Training offers a 3 days fast track Domestic Energy Assessment training course including Free Green Deal Registration which can also be taught over 3 successive weekends for those with busy schedules and other commitments. The training course is based around the Level 3 DEA City & Guilds Diploma and is suitable for those with no previous experience of the energy or construction sector.

What does the DEA training course include?

• 3 days classroom based training covering all aspects of domestic energy assessment
• City & Guilds registration and assessment fees
• Free Green Deal Registration
• Train on RDSAP software to produce a Domestic EPC
• Live property assessments
• All training manuals and follow up technical support
• Refreshments throughout the course

Note that it is only three days for all of the above and those that have no experience in energy or construction. In that case anyone with little or no experience in materials can apply.

I suspect the assessor will be armed with a clipboard with a form containg simple questions which will not accurately assess the property in question.

For instance:

Has the property got loft insulation?

In my case the answer would be NO, and my property would be down rated. However my house does not have a loft although the roof has been well insulated when I had the roof renewed.

Has the property cavity walls?

In my case No. However they are of double brick construction of superior brick. I’m sure in their three day course the assessors don’t get taught any of the science required to evaluate the heat transfer rate through my walls. (I remember spending at least two days being taught heat transfer through materials).

Does the property have double glazing?

Will they actually inspect it thoroughly? When double glazing was in it’s infancy, most was of a pretty poor standard compared with today. But Hay Hoh, another box ticked.

Does the house have a fireplace?

Quick tick to mark the property down. However in my case, I have a balloon in the flue to seal it off when the fireplace is not in use. Will they ask me? Probably not.

Well, you get the gist. But not is all bad. At least they get free refreshments whilst they’re on the course.

Of course once the householder has the certificate they can then apply for a loan to cover the improvements to be installed.

Will it be explained properly, that the loan stays with the house rather than the current owner? I hope so. How many selling their property a couple of years later, find that potential buyers shy off when they realise that they are being saddled with someone else's loan?

I fear that it will end in tears for some. The whole scheme is predicated on the presumption that the energy saved will allow the householder to pay back the loan. However the Government is set on course to continue massive green policies, involving heavily subsidised Bird Mincers Wind turbines and photo voltaic panels, and that the energy costs will most assuredly be going on the up for the foreseeable future. (Some estimates suggest an increase of £700 by the end of this decade).

In my opinion, this may drive some well meaning households into fuel poverty by then.

Mind you vast amounts of right thinking persons have signed up to the “Green deal” so it must be me that’s wrong.

Err. As of last week the huge sum of TWO was reported. Mind you, this week the take up, had increased exponentially to FIVE.

Well that’s me done for the night. Talk amongst yourselves. I’m off for another whisky and a ciggie.

That American National debt.

Please think of the Children.

If only the yanks would see how they’ve been sold down the river. And don’t forget that our Children will be indebted unless our Government reduces the National debt as well.

Questions.

 

Plain packaging waffle

The video below is of our Chief Medical Officer being questioned before a select committee. From what I see in the video I'm surprised how she ever got to that position. She tries to submit to the Members of the Committee that plain packaging of cigarettes in Australia has been a success.

A bit further she is picked up on this assertion and asked that surely it can't be proved as the plain packaging law has only been effect for eleven weeks. She further digs the hole deeper by stating that it was on the say so of the Permanent Secretary of the Australian Department Of Health. As if that were scientific evidence


She doesn't know what she's talking about. Silly old bag.

H/T to Hands off our packs