Nuts!

I lost my job

I just got sacked from my job with the Samaritans and I don't really understand why ?!

A guy called Abdul phoned and said, 

"I'm lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come".

All I said was, "Remain calm and stay on the line" . . .

Epic fail

I’ve written before about the failures of offshore wind turbines before.

Apparently the grout failure problem is worse than first thought. From my source I quote the following:

Grout connections, based Densit’s Ducorit product, which sets to a strength similar to that of stone, ran into problems in 2010.

Then, IHS Emerging Energy Research reported that the grouting had started to dissolve on more than 60% of Europe’s offshore turbines, leading the machines to shift on their foundations.

So sixty percent of these turbines are in a dangerous condition.

of course they are trying a different solution for the new turbines. Will it work? Probably not.

“I am not at all convinced the new solution put forward by DNV will solve this problem,” says Golightly, an independent engineering consultant who has been working on offshore wind projects since 2010.

“Allowing what is essentially a brittle hollow cylinder of rock to take the full bending and shear force from the wave and wind loading that the turbines apply to the tower was simply a systemic design error decision, blindly followed by all developers and designers to save time and money.

“The bottom line is it is not good engineering to have two steel tubes joined with rock.”

I think a FOI request to DECC asking how many turbines are out of action is over due.

Your house must be green. Or else.

The Scenario. It’s the dead of winter and your old central heating boiler breaks down and cannot be repaired. In the normal scheme of things, you’d get a couple of quotes and give the job of replacing it to the company who could carry out the replacement, quickest and cheapest.

Whilst you sit shivering, you are informed by the winner that you will have to wait to be assessed by the council to see if your house comes up to a standard of insulation.

The new regulations, which will apply to specified home improvements including loft and garage conversions, conservatory extensions, and boiler or window replacements, could come into effect as early as October when the Green Deal is set to be officially launched.

Well I for one will tell the contractor to either get round sharpish or bugger off or I will employ someone else.

As far as I’m concerned it is nothing to do with government how I run my home. It’s my bought and paid for abode to do with as I choose. If I want to be less green than Caroline Lucas, then it’s up to me.

I have a nagging suspicion the government is trying to cover up the fact that this government and the last have realised that there is going to be an energy shortage in the next few years. I think it may have settled into their brains (small) that all this green investment in bird mincers and photovoltaic panels, will leave us set for blackouts in the not so distant future.

In the dash for green they haven't stopped to realise that we need new power stations that can back up supply when the wind doesn’t blow or the sun shines. And they have to be ordered years ahead.

My Easter Message

Seeing that it is Easter Sunday, a little light hearted humour of the religious kind.

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'Who's going to tell' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 150 Mph (205 km/h)(Remember, the Pope is German.)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Inspector,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Inspector gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 150 Mph

'So bust him,' says the Inspector.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Inspector exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence..

The Inspector then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Inspector: 'An MP?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'
Inspector: 'The Prime Minister?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Inspector, 'who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Inspector is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

Give me a sense of humour, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

Water, Water everywhere…….

Well not really. Here in the sunny south east of the UK, it’s purported that there is a hose pipe ban in force. and that anyone failing to comply could be hit with a fine of up to £1,000.

But is there really a ban? If for instance you don’t watch TV news or the MSM, or local media, how would you know? I suppose that letter from your water company that dropped through the letter box would.

But wait. Filthy Engineer Towers has never received any formal notification from the thieving bastards. So how am I to know? Telepathy, Ouija board, a sign from God?

Bearing in mind recent surveys that show only a tiny minority would dob their neighbour in anyway, due to the fact most people consider the water companies are another set of thieving bastards (Tourette's syndrome at work here), by their shear incompetence in stemming leaks, over share holder profits, they could be in  for a near zero sum game.

Of course I’m a model citizen. Here is my project for the summer.

Smokefree

More likely they want “Free of smokers”.

Birth day

Blogging will be light to non existent today. My daughter has gone into labour.

Electric cars.

Thinking of buying an electric car and saving the planet?

If you look at the diagram above (Sorry for the poor quality), you’ll see what is required to get the power for the car battery from the source.

Lets look at the efficiencies of the various parts of the diagram, starting with the generating station first. Even a non CO2 emitting nuclear plant is at best 30% efficient due to the lower steam temperatures employed. That’s a start down the slope.

Next comes the step up transformer. Ever wondered why they have to be oil cooled? Using a step up transformer to increase the voltage does not give you something for nothing. As the voltage goes up, the current goes down by the same proportion. The power equation shows that the overall power remains the same.

P=V x I  Power = Voltage x Current

In reality, the power output is always less than the power input because the changing magnetic field in the core creates currents (called eddy currents) which heat the core.  This heat is then lost to the environment, it is wasted energy. It’s actually not too bad at 2%. But 2% never the less.

Now we come to transmission of this power. This is usually transmitted at voltages of around 133kv in the UK for long distances. Here again we lose energy. Estimated at approximately 6%.

Of course we now have to transform it down again to a realistic voltage for consumers to use. Another 2% lost.

Bearing in mind  charging the batteries of your electric car is going to involve turning that AC voltage into a DC voltage and step down to a voltage that will be suitable for your battery, the efficiency falls further. Lets say another 2%.

Overall by my reckoning that makes the whole jiggery pokey to have you on the road is about 58% efficiency overall.

Contrasting that to a modern common rail fuel injected diesel engine at 50% efficiency,  the efficiency is not vastly better.

Of course you have to buy the car first before you can drive an electric vehicle on the open road. Now the agony really becomes real. Even with a generous government subsidy (£5,000), a Nissan Leaf is going to set you back a whopping £25,990.

And for that price you only (On a good day) get a mileage of 109 miles between charges.  

And finally the cost of a replacement battery will set you back over £5,000. (Conservative price. Some sites have reckoned it could be as high as £8,000).

Still want to buy one? Me. I’m sticking to my diesel powered car, which has a range of 350 miles even when my heater is on in the winter. I don’t want to take 3 days to visit my son. (And three days back) After all, who would feed the cats?

I’ve received an invite

Hahahahahahahahaha

Hi TFE,
With your keen interest in the wind space, I’m surprised to see that you haven’t yet booked your place for the Wind O&M Summit.
It’s only 3 weeks away, and we’re almost at the venue limit but I’ve reserved a pass in your name just in case you can make it but haven’t let me know. However, with tickets selling fast I will be forced to release your ticket back to general sale if you do not register by Monday (April 9th).
Alternatively, if you register online (link below) I’ll make sure it gets processed by the Customer Services team.

secure.windenergyupdate.com/operations-maintenance-usa/register.php

I hope to see you in Dallas in April.
Jon
Jon Harman
Head of Renewable Industries | Wind Energy Update
7-9 Fashion Street, London, E1 6PX, UK

Now if they were to throw in a complementary free first class ticket, I’d go. Bugger my carbon footprint.