Help this woman

Listen to her tragic story.

Tragic innit.

Give generously. NOT

Snow and motoring

When are we going to teach people to drive in snow? I’ve just spent 3 hours on the slowly orbiting car park around London.(M25). Some of the driving defies belief. Being overtaken by idiots driving in blizzard conditions at a rate that is dangerous at the best of times is stupid. At the other end of the spectrum is the idiot who drives so slow compared with the average, that lorries appear to overtake nearing light speed.

One piece of interest was some sort of incident on the opposite carriage way. I’d love to know why there was a need for eight fire engines?

Huhne’s Downfall

I knew one would come along.

H/T to Katabasis

Snow safety video. Public service message.

Expecting snow? Here is a public service broadcast on how to fit snow chains to your vehicle. Keep your eyes on the tyres, you at the back!

You weren't concentrating? Well don’t blame me when you end up in the ditch.

Newspapers

True stories:

1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
(The Daily Telegraph)

2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)

3) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common".
(TheTimes)

4) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
( Aberdeen Evening Express)

5) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"
( Bournemouth Evening Echo)

The Religion of……….

Petrol.

just saying.

Killing two birds with one log

In case you think I’ve got the quote wrong. Tough.

Hopefully I’m upsetting both of the groups below:

The first bird is the Green lobby that rant on about reducing our carbon footprint. (Should I eradicate myself, seeing that I’m a carbon based lifeform?)

Second is my energy supplier which has upped my energy charges by over 20%. (I’m waiting for their pleading letter asking me not to switch energy suppliers, which I’m in the process of doing).

What have I done to upset both groups?

I lit the open fire. (And not using that smokeless crap coal either).

All that carbon and CO2 disappearing up the chimney is visually attractive and a great comfort, in that I upset the greens in the first instance. The second is I diminish the profits of my energy supplier.

There’s nothing more satisfying than throwing another log on the pile and seeing that comforting swirl of sparks and the puff of smoke caused by it.

Groan

 

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a Vacuum cleaner.

Talk about Dyson with death.

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ."

"Really, ..." says Mick "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.

So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
 
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.

When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.

I thought to myself, they've lost the plot .....

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70! "Blow this," I thought,

"I can get one cheaper off the web."

I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.

I thought to myself, "That guy's heading for a breakdown."

On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'

A shame

But it had to happen to a faithful friend.

I served in the ship pictured  below, eleven times.

As the first ship to sail into Stanley Harbour after the Argentinian surrender on June 14, 1982, Sir Percivale won a special place in the hearts of islanders and her crew.

And now:

Now, 28 years after Argentina invaded the Falklands, this once great servant of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary is dying by a thousand cuts.

Work on dismembering the rusting hulk in a Merseyside dry dock began in June and is already well under way.

Simon Capps, 35, sales manager of ship recycling company Leavesley International, said: ‘Many servicemen come to visit the ships we dismantle and shed a few tears.

‘All the steel goes off to China and eastern Europe and will probably come back as cars or even a can of beans in your cupboard.’ In her pomp the 5,674-tonne vessel could carry 500 troops and 50 crew.

Oh well, mustn’t dwell in the past.

ACTA: The new threat to the net

More prohibition on it’s way.

ACTA - a global treaty - could allow corporations to censor the Internet. Negotiated in secret by a small number of rich countries and corporate powers, it would set up a shadowy new anti-counterfeiting body to allow private interests to police everything that we do online and impose massive penalties -- even prison sentences -- against people they say have harmed their business.

If you want to make a stand sign the petition HERE

1,217,870 1,218,175  have signed. Help us get to our new target of 2,000,000.