It’s been a long time….

Since I’ve held a new-born baby.

My first Grandchild is the first baby I’ve held in my arms for over 25 years. When you look down on such a small bundle of innocence, you really begin to marvel at the perfection of such a small being.

However it also got me thinking of what his life will be like in the future.

Firstly, will he be safe from the obtrusive nanny state that seems to consider all parents are child beaters, until otherwise proven?

Will he be given a decent education, sufficient to give him at least a chance to get ahead in his world of today?

If he does, and excels, will his parents be able to help him to afford crippling university fees?

Burdened with these fees. Will he ever be able to accrue enough money for a deposit on a property?

Will he be saddled with more debt, run up by useless politicians, that, if I had my way, would all be strung up. All 650 of them.

Will he drink, smoke, and generally enjoy life? Or will he denounce his grandad to the thought police, as a subversive blogger of ill repute who is making trouble for the government and their quangos? (Mind you, my kids think I’m nuts  for blogging anyway. I do say to them that they’re not forced to follow this blog. Do children listen?).

Will he be living in a yurt heated by goat droppings, because the 1,000,000 bird mincers built in the early 21st century have all broken due to old age and catastrophic failure?

I really don’t know. (If I was that good at reading the runes teabags the future I’d have won the lottery and retired to Cannes.

What is in store for Aiden? (That’s his name in case you’re wondering).

You tell me. I’m off for a drink and a smoke. (Champagne and a cigar).

PS. I must stop writing serious posts. It degrades this blog.

Cooking the IPCC way.

 

Official rules of Bedroom Golf.................

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played , or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

Remember them

 

Celebration

I’m now a Granddad to a boy born at 0515 this morning.

UPDATE: Mother and son doing well. However my son in law had to change his first nappy today. He didn’t enjoy it.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

That advert

Doing the rounds is this

Be afraid, very afraid

I wonder if the boy wonder has seen this? If he hasn’t then he’s incompetent, or at the very worst, incapable  of running this country. Call me Dave needs to grow a pair, and front up against this attack on our  economy. And to think I was a lifelong conservative.

It’s in german but it is subtitled.

Thanks to Subrosa for jogging my memory on this

It’s looking bad for Christmas

Stock markets have responded positively to news that Toyland’s Prime Minister Santo Nicalosi, better known as Santa Claus, or Sugar Daddy Christmas to his closest female admirers, is to step down after arranging a final delivery of toys for December.

Leading analyst Jeremy Warner said that without the implementation of severe austerity measures, including the adoption of a payment-based business model which would face severe competition from the likes of Amazon, Toyland would default on its debts and this could lead to a world economic catastrophe far more severe than the 2008 banking crisis.

‘In recent years, Toyland has lived way beyond its means as it struggled to deliver ever more exotic presents free of charge to children in Europe and North America,’ said Warner. ‘It no longer produces most of the toys that are delivered and has had increasingly to rely on cheap goods and credit from China and Southeast Asia.’

Toyland’s manufacturing base is no longer a major employer but service sector employees will be hit hard by austerity measures. ‘I’m due to retire at 35 on full salary next year, said a party facilitator elf. Suddenly there will be no jobs and no pensions. I suppose I’ll have to emigrate, but I was shocked to learn that my skills set only attracts the minimum wage in other countries, even with a Mickey Mouse degree. I might as well work tables or behind a bar.’

Lenders are expected to take a significant haircut as Toyland reschedules its debts after the IMF, ECB and Germany’s Bundesbank refused a euro bailout. However, unlike Never Never Land, Toyland is expected to honour its obligations, although repayments will be redenominated in Monopoly money.

More than one banker has said a haircut is the least Santa Claus can expect if he is caught, saying the revenge shaving won’t stop at ‘that manky beard’ or the Movember ‘tache. In addition, after he steps down, Claus will no longer be afforded criminal immunity against charges of creeping into millions of children’s bedrooms at night.

Shamelessly nicked from News biscuit

Lest we forget

It’s that day. Take just two minutes to think about those who have paid the ultimate price.

Those notes.

Yesterday as you may recall I sent a FOI request to my local PCT. I received a reply today (That’s quick), stating that they are treating it under the data Protection Act instead. I suppose it is relevant under the circumstances, It’s reproduced here for your edification.

Hello xxxx

I can confim that we have received your request. 

This request is a request under the DPA 1998 not a Freedom of information act as you are asking for personal information about which you are the subject of.

We will begin processing your request and will be in touch for the relevant Identity required.  

kind regards

Pam

What I find irksome is that I took the trouble to write a formal letter and received an informal letter back. Notwithstanding that she addressed me by my Christian name which she spelt wrongly, she could have at least run the spellchecker through the E mail (Confim?).

Maybe it’s just me being pedantic, but a reply should be in the same vein, in my opinion. Not a very professional stance for a public servant.

I’m sure as well that they could have replied under the FOIA, however that only gives them 20 days, where as the DPA gives them 40 days.

I really must take off my tinfoil hat.