Fracking Hell

I’ve just watched this from the Ecoloon website of Frack off. It’s another example of the fringe of lunatics who are against any advancement in energy production. Watch the film first. (DISCLAIMER: The Author of this blog is not liable for any vomit that might ruin your keyboard).

At approximately  three minutes in we have a professor moaning that they are building hundreds of gas pads. No one seems to mind about the thousands of bird mincers that are to be built?

Then at four minutes in we have the hoary old chestnut about drinking water being contaminated. Listen to the old dear at 4.52. Anyone would think that she is having neat diesel fuel coming out of her tap.

The “organic farmer” feels put upon as well. (There must be a “Think of the Cheeeeldren” soon)

Not so.

No one knows how much of these chemicals are being used by any given driller. We do know that fracking fluid is composed of less than one percent of the chemicals in this list, with water and sand making up the other 99 percent.

When fracking fluid is pumped into the ground, the vertical hole down which it’s pumped is lined with concrete to protect surface water supplies from chemicals. The fracking fluid goes down some 5,000 feet to where it’s used to help break rock apart releasing the natural gas, and then most of the fluid is pumped back out again and carted away where it’s treated at a regulated and approved facility. For the fluid that stays behind, it’s down some 5,000 feet. That’s almost a mile of solid rock between where it sits and surface water supplies (which are located at about 300 feet). There’s no way any of that fluid will “seep up” into water supplies. And remember that most fluid is pumped back out again. So less than one percent of the fluid are chemicals from this list, and most of that comes out again, leaving behind a very very small amount of chemicals a mile below the surface and heavily diluted by water and sand.

Compare the list below with the labels on the containers under your kitchen and bathroom sinks. You’ll find some of the same names on the labels. ¹

At minute 5.25 we get the hoary old chestnut of flaming taps. Debunked here.

The Truth about Gasland ²

Gasland is a ‘documentary’ film by Josh Fox that claims to tell the truth about unconventional gas development and the hydraulic fracturing process. However, the film is riddled with inaccuracies and misleading statements.

Many of the claims made in the film have been proven false by a variety of independent organisations. Some of the more detailed rebuttals can be found at the links below.

Links

• America’s Natural Gas Alliance
  Provides a video rebuke to the claims made in Gasland. The video can also be found on True blue natural gas.
• Colorado Oil & Gas Commission
  Information on COGCC investigations into complaints from landowners.
• Energy In Depth
  The Gasland Debunked factsheet shows the myths and realities behind the film.
• Huffington Post
  Bill Shireman, CEO of The Future 500, talks about how misleading the public with regards to unconventional gas is bad for the environmental community.

Of course as you will see at approximately 8.45 we will be imperilled with those tanker trucks loaded with chemicals that will kill all life on the planet as we know it, all crashing and burning. (Alright I’m exaggerating a touch).

Oh Noes. It gets worse.

At 11.30 mins we’re all going to die from radium poisoning.

I could go on, but sometimes think that I’m beating my head against a brick wall.

 

1 http://marcellusdrilling.com/2010/06/list-of-78-chemicals-used-in-hydraulic-fracturing-fluid-in-pennsylvania/

2   http://www.europeunconventionalgas.org/home/resources/frequently-asked-questions/the-truth-about-gasland

Sunday silliness

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

TEACHER: Kathy, go to the map and find North America ..
Kathy: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Kathy.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)

TEACHER: Adela, what is the chemical formula for water?
Adela: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Adela: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glenn, why do you always get so dirty?
GLENN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Harriette, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
Harriette: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
Harriette: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry  tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father  didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
 
(Now, this child suits me to a "T".)
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. (LOL!)

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
 
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

TEACHER: Diane, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Diane: A teacher

Stress

I am not sure  exactly how it works, but this is  amazingly accurate.  

Read the full description before looking at the picture below.
The picture has 2 identical dolphins in it. 

It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital, London.  

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. 
The dolphins are identical.  A closely monitored scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. 
The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences, you need to go on holiday.... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll get my coat.

Occupy London. The Movie

See the great unwashed and Loony left in their natural habitat.

It makes you wonder if they have been taught anything at school about economics. In this clip you have everything from pianists to one eyed long John Silver look-alikes. And of course it could not be complete without the usual sprinkling of Ecoloons.

Friday fun

Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from
a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ....... so
I did....
she's 21 and her name's Lucy

My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face

I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting
paedo and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a
couple of Swan Vesta's, his little face lit up when he tried to walk..
Unfortunately, I forgot to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his
cage.

I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen,
ungrateful bleeders.
All I said was, 'hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes to go to!'

Christmas is like any other day for me, sitting at the table with a big
fat bird who doesn't gobble anymore.

Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting
your bl**dy tee ready!

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's
voice from the kitchen, 'what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'
She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the
cat!'

Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a small white patch, so I've named him Birmingham.

I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a
prawn cocktail.
I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!'

Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm a celebrity,
get me out of here!'
Show bosses think she will do really well since she's been living off a
dead Beatle for the last thirty years.

A LEGAL QUESTION...

Just look at the pics below.

Is this “statuetory” rape?

Or is it just a “moosedemeanor”?

Ups and downs

This year in the FE household has been a mixture of ups and downs.

UP.

The youngest daughter became pregnant.

DOWN.

The eldest daughter and her fiancé were informed that if they wanted children then they would have to have IVF treatment.

DOWN.

The son was diagnosed with cancer of the Thyroid.

UP.

Had a superb holiday in Crete.

DOWN.

We were burgled during the night in the last week of the holiday.

DOWN

Mrs FE diagnosed with suspected Bowel cancer.

UP.

Mrs FE found to be completely free of Cancerous cells.

UP.

The Boy had his cancerous Thyroid removed.

UP.

Eldest daughter suddenly finds she is pregnant without undergoing IVF.

UP.

The son has his follow up radiotherapy to kill off any remaining cancer cells.

DOWN.

TFE is diagnosed with a peptic ulcer.

DOWN.

And you won’t believe this. The Boy has also be diagnosed with a peptic ulcer! (Keep it in the family).

That’s 6 UPS and 6 DOWNS

Just saying like. I thought I’d get this out of the way before the years end. For all I know I may suffer from a massive Myocardial infarction or some such.

But hey, look on the bright side. Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh……………………….

Just kidding.

IN RESPONSE TO THE EMAIL CONCERNING MY DOG...

 

Please be advised I am sick and tired of receiving questions about my dog who mauled six illegal immigrants , four Liberals wearing FCUK  tee shirts, two rappers, nine teenagers with pants hanging down past their cracks, eight customer service desk people speaking in broken English, 3 pairs of Jehovah's Witnesses, and a Pakistani taxi driver.

 

FOR THE LAST TIME.

THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!

Tazer fun

Made I Larf

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dip****,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?
IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.s... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!

Wind turbines are still crap

I was led to believe from previous information that biggest problems with offshore wind turbines was gearbox failure.

However It appears that I was wrong. Gearbox failure is not the most prevalent fault.

Failures of electrical and controls systems are the root cause of wind turbine repairs in 50% of cases, and operators should expect an electronic or electrical subassembly failure every 2 to 2.5 years, according to Wind Energy Update’s Offshore operations and Maintenance report 2011, released today.

So let me get this straight in my mind. We have a failure rate of the gearboxes after only seven years, and now it is iterated that we have electrical failures every 2 to 2.5 years.

According to the report’s authors, while the failure rate event of electrical system and control faults/failures may not have the highest associated downtime, a higher frequency of occurrence translates into the highest mean annual downtime.

Has our Energy secretary been appraised with these facts as he dashes for more bird mincers? Probably not.

I leave you with this little snippet.

With estimated annual O&M costs at €100,000 to €300,000 per 2MW-3MW offshore turbine and at €200,000 to €720,000 for larger turbines (according to a previous Wind Energy Update report), operators need access to more reliable data, stresses the report.

You can read the whole article HERE.

And weep.